When you take a glorious dump? Allow me to paint a picture for you. You have spent the entire weekend pumping your bloodstream full of toxins; everything from Alcohol, to junk food, to a colorful array of controlled substances, or even all three. You wake up Monday morning feeling like under the weather. Not quite sick, but just off, like all of the euphoric effects have long since worn off, but the toxins and the headache remain. You slog through most of the morning, no appetite, irritable, just wanting to go back to bed. The whole morning you've been ripping wet, nasty farts, but you've yet to do the deed. Then, at around lunch time, you feel it. The rising and falling ache in your colon bothers you for nearly an hour or two, but you put it off because you have school/work to attend to, and your teacher/boss is a bitch. Finally, it becomes unbearable, you steal away to your undoubtedly gross public facility to do the deed. Immediately after sitting down you feel the turtle head poking at your anus, a shy but terrible beast just dying to get loose. You give it a good push, and before you know it, a one foot long, chocolate brown monstrosity is floating in the water below you. It is soft, but wide around, filled with assorted chunks of undigested food. It smells absolutely putrid, so much that it drives even it's creator to nearly vomit. You hastily flush the abomination down the toilet, and exit the bathroom three flushes and fifteen strips of toilet paper later. As your painfully expanded anus rebounds into it's original shape, you begin to notice something different. You feel light, freed from a great weight on your body. All the toxins collecting in your body over the past seventy-two hours have just been expelled out of your posterior in one mighty flex of the rectum. Sufficed to say, no matter what happens, the rest of your day will kick ass, and if you're cool you'll do it all over again. Any of you familiar with this? I'm sure you all are.