"Yo mamma" jokes

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Die In A Fire, Oct 1, 2011.

  1. Die In A Fire

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    Yo momma is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
    Yo momma so dumb she thought, “Wu Tang” was an African orange drink!
     
  2. Trixie

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    yo momma so fat that when she backs up- she goes "BEEP BEEP BEEP"...
     
  3. SuperSpecialSuperStar

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    you're not black at all :I
     
  4. ge5undhe17

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    YO MOMMA'S SO FAT SHE HAS GRAVITATIONAL PULL
     
  5. Rock

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    Yo mama' sucks cocks in hell
     
  6. captainbeefheart

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  7. Rock

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    Your mama is so black when she steps outside our phone rates go down
     
  8. Die In A Fire

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    Yo mama so black that when the police shot at her, the bullets came back for flashlights.
     
  9. Harpoons

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  10. scumhook

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    Yo momma spat you out of her cunt then had to support your loser ass.

    The joke's on her.
     
  11. m450n_yuno

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    Nerd Burn: Your mother's so fat, it would require 2 large integer variables to store her weight, or else she would cause a buffer overflow.
     
  12. scumhook

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    LOL.

    Yo momma's so fat, the last time she stepped on the scales, she generated a seg fault & a core dump.

    "KERNEL PANIC!!! ONE FAT ASS BITCH ON THE SCALES AT A TIME"
     
  13. Fumo161

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    You have to wonder what that Mamageddon was.
    It sounded like it would make even scumhook here cry to his mother.
    You... do have a mom right?
     
  14. Baya Rae 4900

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    Yo momma's such a whore that they made a hentai game about her.
     
  15. Web v1.0

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    Yo momma's so old that her social security number (or equivalent) is written in roman numerals.

    Yo momma's so fat that her escape velocity is greater than 100 000 km/s.
     
  16. Die In A Fire

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    Yo mama's so fat that the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses!
    Yo mama's so fat that a wingardium leviosa spell couldn't lift her.
    Yo mama's so fat, she makes Hagrid look like "Mini-me".
    Yo mama's so fat, she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge.
    Yo mama's so ugly, even a dementor wouldn't kiss her!
    Yo mama's so fat the Sorting Hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes.
    Yo mama's so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore.
    Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is a hip hop station on satellite radio.
    Yo mama's so ugly that the whomping willow saw her and died.
    Yo mama's so stupid she thinks Patronus is a kind of Tequlia.
    Yo Mama's so fat, her Patronus is a Double-Whopper with Cheese.
    Yo mama's so nasty, the Forbidden Forrest was named after her.
    Yo mama's the reason that Dumbledore turned gay.
    Yo mama's so old, her boobs look like two upside down Sorting Hats!
    Yo mama's so fat, she used the invisibility cloak as a bib.
    Yo Mama's so ugly, everybody calls her "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked"
    Yo mama's so fat that even the Dementors can't suck her soul out in one sitting.
    Yo mama's so pasty, she makes Ron Weasely look like George Hamilton.
    Yo mama's so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham!
    Yo mama's so old she gave Nicholas Flamel his first kiss.
    Yo mama's so ugly that the Dementor's Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.
    Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve
    Yo mama's so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue
    Yo mama's so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark on them.
    Yo mama's so fat that if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill.
    Yo Mama's so ugly that even Voldemort won't say her name.
    Yo Mama's so poor she can't even afford a Gringotts account.
    Yo mama's so fat that the sorting hat couldn't decide where to put her - she couldn't fit in any of the houses!!
    Yo mama's the only mute prostitue in Hogsmeade. They call her "dumb-le-whore"!
    Yo mama's so fat, she ate the Death Eaters.
    Yo mama's so masculine that Dumbledore would sleep with her!
    Yo mama's so nasty that the order of the phoenix was "stay away from that woman!"
    Yo mama's so poor that Dobby gave her a sock to keep her foot warm.
    Yo mama's such a tramp that she's given more rides than the Hogwarts Express!
    Yo mama's so fat even Grawp can't pick her up!
    Yo mama's so smelly, Bertie Bott made her his next jelly bean flavor.
    Yo mama's so fat that it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her!
    Yo mama's so ugly that she lost a beauty contest to Mountain Troll.
    Yo mama's so ugly that when the bassalisk snuck up on her and saw her face, HE dropped dead.
    Yo mama's breath is the secret ingredient in the Weasly's Butterscotch Barf-ies.
    Yo mama's so ugly that when she walked into Gringotts Wizarding Bank, they gave her a job application.
    Yo mama's so ugly she turned the Basilisk to stone.
    Yo mama's such a tramp that she's like a quidditch broomstick - everyone gets a ride.
    Yo mama's so skanky that the reason you're called a Half-Blood Prince is because she has no idea who your father is!
    Yo mama's so dumb that a stupify spell actually made her smarter.
    Yo mama's so stanky that not even dobby would accept one of her socks.
    Yo mama's so fat that even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks.
    Yo mama's so old she makes Dumbledore look like a teenager.
    Yo mama's so fat they'd have to use transfiguration to sneak her through the hole in the Gryffindor Tower.
    Ya mama's so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim.
    Yo mama's so fat the core of her wand has a creame filling.
    Yo mama's so ugly that Voldemort took one look at her and killed HIMSELF!"
    Yo mama's so poor she had to go to the Weasley's for a loan.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she thought that Hogwarts were the growth on her thigh.
    Yo mama's so ugly that as a baby they had to use the Confundus Charm so the family would play with her.
    Yo mama's so ugly she scares the Dementors away.
    Yo mama's so ugly that when she asked Crabbe to take her to the Yule Ball, he decided to go with Goyle instead!
     
  17. Harpoons

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    I can just imagine the sort of person who took the time to write all those.

    [​IMG]
     
  18. Die In A Fire

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    Good lord
     
  19. Trixie

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    so you like the harry potter?
     
  20. Lloyd

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    This one diverts from the classic form:​

    Yo mama is like a permanent marker: fat, black and smells of alcohol.​
     
  21. Die In A Fire

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    Yep I do :D
     
  22. 1H4T3NUMB3R5

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    Yo mama so fat, that she was considered over weight OHHHHHHH I'M A BAWSSS.
     
  23. Die In A Fire

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    Wow, such thought and effort was put into that. I lol'd so hard.
     
  24. Die In A Fire

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    Here's another one that took some thought:

    Yo mama so poor she couldn't afford free stuff!
     
  25. scumhook

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    This thread is so shit, yo momma stopped reading it.
     
  26. Die In A Fire

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    Oooooooooh shit.
     
  27. HyperHominid

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    Yo mama so stupid she returned a puzzle and thought it was broken
    Yo mama so fat she went out in high heels and came back in sandals
    Yo mama so old the Lord put her on recall
    Yo mama so ugly that when she's sleeps Freddy has avoid her in his dreams
    Yo mama so ghetto that child support didn't have the funds to support her 73 kids
    Yo mama so asian the DMV near the local walmart went out of buisness
    Yo mama so black she make the dark side of the moon jealous
     
  28. m450n_yuno

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    Your mother's such a cunt that when she was born someone was passing by and said, "Look! It's a cunt coming out of a cunt's cunt."
     
  29. ge5undhe17

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    OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

    true story
     
  30. Voodeuxfy

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    Your mother is so obese that Einstein's theory of relativity can be observed without the need of a telescope.

    (i.e. space bending around objects of great mass.)