Web 1.0

Discussion in 'Science & Technology' started by uberfukken, Oct 4, 2012.

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  1. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    Wasn't it great? While most of you faggots are probably too young to remember, a few of us here had Geocities and could rack up some nasty scores in Microsoft Pinball.

    Lets take a moment to remember Web 1.0


    You turn on your computer and connect to the internet.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    Success!

    [​IMG]


    Just kidding your mom picked up the phone.

    [​IMG]


    You try again...

    [​IMG]


    You're in.

    [​IMG]


    The first thing you do is sign on to AIM.

    Where your friend is being a dick.

    [​IMG]

    And then you get rate limited.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    Oh well, I guess this means you can burn that CD you've been meaning to make.

    The disc pops out.

    [​IMG]


    FUCK. That's not working.

    [​IMG]


    No more procrastination. It's homework time. You open Encarta and search for "sea cucumbers".

    [​IMG]


    NO RESULTS.

    You can't do your homework now. Great.

    DAMMIT MOM.

    [​IMG]


    WHY CAN'T WE GET A SECOND LINE?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    OK, so you want to look at some porn.

    BUT THE INTERNET IS SO SLOW THAT THE PICTURE WON'T LOAD.

    [​IMG]


    Fuck that. I guess you'll have to settle for some Oregon Trail.

    [​IMG]


    Then this happens:

    [​IMG]


    And then Nicole gets dysentery.

    [​IMG]


    And then you get dysentery.

    [​IMG]


    That was fun.

    So you try to download a song. You search and see there are so many results!

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    You find what you want. It's going to take an hour for this one song.

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    2.5 hours later...

    It finished!

    [​IMG]


    JK IT'S A VIRUS

    [​IMG]


    Then this happens:

    [​IMG]


    And this:

    [​IMG]


    You want to die.

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    You want a new computer but it's $2400 for this piece of shit.

    [​IMG]


    So you just sit there, stare, and hope that the computer will magically work if it "rests" for a while.

    [​IMG]


    THE END
     
  2. Rock

    Rock
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    Girlvinyl

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  3. BizarrePsycho

    BizarrePsycho
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    EDF Elite

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    [​IMG]

    I remember using those pieces of shit in school...
     
  4. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    holy fuck guise 16 megs of RAM and a 28.8kbs modem fapfapfap
     
  5. scumhook

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    <3 uberbaby

    thraed of the nao
     
  6. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    yea i stole it from buzzfeed lol
     
  7. scumhook

    scumhook
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    lol u fuck. i was impressed with the depth of research and work you'd put into it.
     
  8. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    that would require effort and stuff. nope.
     
  9. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    [​IMG]
     
  10. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    I put a pillow over the pc to silence the connection's sound so my parents wouldn't find out. At that time, I sill masturbated to pictures, downloading a 13 mb video was too much.
     
  11. Lyle

    Lyle
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    turtle

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    [​IMG]
     
  12. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    i used to find my porn with altavista. yahoo sucked balls
     
  13. TheBrickBalls

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    Girlvinyl

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    Back in the day, I didn't connect to the internet with AOL on one of those ancient computers. We had WebTV back then.

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    I miss this startup screen.



    I used to play Shilla 2 on that thing. This is a resurrection of that game. I don't know whether or not I should play it again though.

    Dad decided to get WebTV back then because you didn't worry about viruses with that thing due to the encryption software used by it(It was actually classified as military grade.).

    edit: nvm, shilla is dead
     
  14. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    Dude WebTV users were like a step below AOL users who were so bad that many IRC servers banned *@aol.com

    You guys were like the lowest of the low
     
  15. Lyle

    Lyle
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    turtle

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    I didn't use AOL cause back then everyone knew it was gay cancur. I would hack their floppy disks to save porn and would trade with friends at school.
     
  16. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    sometimes i didnt have any internet cause my parents wouldnt pay for it but i still had free juno email and could dial up and send people ASCII porn
     
  17. BizarrePsycho

    BizarrePsycho
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    EDF Elite

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    Look at how far computers have come.

    Take a look at the price and specs at that Mac above, then look at this:

    [​IMG]

    Raspberry Pi Model B:
    CPU: 700 MHz
    GPU: Supports 1080p video output. Supposedly as powerful as the original XBox.
    Here's something interesting:
    The GPU apparently doubles the performance currently found in the iPhone 4S.
    http://www.geek.com/articles/mobile...gra-2-doubles-iphone-4s-performance-20120125/
    RAM: 256 MB (shared with GPU)
    Video output: HDMI or component
    Sound output: HDMI or 3.5 mm jack.

    2 USB ports.
    It's roughly the size of a credit card.

    Price: $35
     
  18. Solution

    Solution
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    Everyone is boring

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    Used netzero
     
  19. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    [​IMG]
     
  20. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    fuck yea netzero. i had the hack that disabled the ads. free - fucking - internet
     
  21. FlamingTofuSquare

    FlamingTofuSquare
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    Dramatis Personæ

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    I have an elderly relative who still uses WebTV.
     
  22. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    somehow AOL still has 5 million users as of 2009. they have cornered the over-60 market
     
  23. BizarrePsycho

    BizarrePsycho
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    EDF Elite

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    I find it funny that computers are so common nowadays that companies are no longer listing the speed of the components inside. They just tell you it's faster and give demonstration of what it can do.
     
  24. Bottom Feeder

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    Likeicares Bitch

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    Ahh. Altavista:the search company, where every search ended in a porn suggestion.
     
  25. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    Nobody understands the numbers anymore. There's so many acronyms and nonsense the average consumer doesn't have a fucking clue what's going on. Their only gauge is the pricetag.

    Unless you're using it for gaming or srs internets, a $400 shitbox PC gets along just fine. I got about 14 office computers I picked up for $150 a pop on overstock, they work great.
     
  26. scumhook

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    4.99 million people who've given up trying to stop the direct debits or auto credit card charges hitting their accounts.
     
  27. minty

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    toymaker

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    they know everybody needs a computer, even the people who have no idea that computers can do more than just facebook
     
  28. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    hands down best search engine up till about 98. you seriously couldn't find a fucking thing on yahoo.
     
  29. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    your only hope is canceling the card/bank account. their cancellation department plays the wear-you-down strategy: 1 hour hold time followed by the most belligerent sales tactics known to man. good luck getting out of that phone call with the job done.
     
  30. scumhook

    scumhook
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    fucking oath. Altavista was the bomb.

    i vaguely remember a warez engine called "Astalavista" from around the same time period.