Trick-or-'you're fat' letter!

Discussion in 'News' started by WhiteOmega, Oct 30, 2013.

  1. WhiteOmega

    WhiteOmega
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    Girlvinyl

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    Apparently some woman in North Dakota is going to hand out 'you're fat' letters to kids she sees as fat.




    http://www.valleynewslive.com/story...ndy?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

    Personally if I was going to do this, I wouldn't have told the news....attention whore.

    Here's the letter:

    25117792.

    What would you put in that letter?
     
  2. minty

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    toymaker

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    a little too polite on the note for my tastes... i'd just not give the kid candy unless they embraced their fatness with pride and did the truffle shuffle
     
  3. WhiteOmega

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    Girlvinyl

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    [​IMG]
     
  4. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss


    ...embrace the chubbiness
     
  5. Massgrav

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    EDF Elite

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    I liked the "Kill your autistic kid"-one better. Besides, fat kids look more fun when you kick them down stairs..
    That lady is (to quote our great prophet "SomeIdiot") a pee pee head.
     
  6. WhiteOmega

    WhiteOmega
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    Girlvinyl

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    What got me is that she wanted it on the news. She's probably trying to ride that autistic letter wave to get attention.
     
  7. Massgrav

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    EDF Elite

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    Aint that fucking typical? Some good and kind person writes a perfectly reasonable letter and this EVIL cunt of a woman tries to ride on that?
     
  8. WhiteOmega

    WhiteOmega
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    Girlvinyl

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    [​IMG]
     
  9. Fraud Based Economy

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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    Let's EDify it then.

     
  10. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    no... hold on, i got this
    add ebonics and third-grader spelling where necessary for "low-income" (aka black) neighborhoods
     
  11. Massgrav

    Massgrav
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    EDF Elite

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    You guys suck at this.

    "Dear owner of the bulldog dressed as spiderman.
    If you want your beach ball back, put its weight in candy in a paper bag and deliver it to the following address.
    "Whateverstreet, Whatevertown, Whatever"
    To show you that I mean business one of its sticky (Is that jam?) fingers follows with this note. You have 3 hours.

    The man living in the spooky sound isolated house down the street."

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Whatever

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    I hope some fat kids punch her in the face. Giving a letter for Halloween. She's up there with the people that give out apples and toothpaste.
     
  13. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    but what about the people who give out candy with razor blades in it?
     
  14. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    Done. But before I begin I'd like to apologize in advance for anyone who might take offense with the following racist caricature. If it really bothers you, then just follow this link to a far nicer page.

     
  15. Whatever

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    Those people should be lauded. The razor blades are an addition to a tasty treat. The taste of blood also goes well with a sweet vampire costume.
     
  16. WhiteOmega

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    Girlvinyl

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    This is what I would give people I didn't like.

    oreostoothpaste. razor_apple_6941.
     
  17. minty

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    toymaker

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    needs more typos
    with all that correct spellin' they're bound to think you're an undercover cop trying to catch them dealing drugs
     
  18. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    There's just no pleasing some people.

    Maybe @TheBrickBalls can give it the finishing touches and make it more true to life. I don't know.
     
  19. Massgrav

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  20. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    Perfect.


     
  21. Massgrav

    Massgrav
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    EDF Elite

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    And if the parents are autists.

    59 6f 20 59 6f 20 6d 61 68 20 6e 69 67 67 61 73 2c 20 61 68 20 63 61 6e 27 74 7a 20 68 6f 6f 6b 20 79 6f 20 63 68 69 6c 64 27 6e 20 75 70 20 77 69 66 20 68 61 6c 6c 6f 77 65 65 6e 20 73 68 65 65 69 74 20 64 69 73 20 68 65 72 65 20 79 65 61 72 2e 20 4c 69 27 6c 20 6b 69 64 20 69 7a 20 74 6f 6f 20 6d 6f 74 68 61 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 20 66 61 74 2e 20 46 6f 20 72 65 61 6c 7a 2c 20 79 6f 2e 20 4c 6f 6f 6b 73 20 6c 69 6b 65 20 75 68 20 6d 6f 74 68 61 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 20 58 6d 61 73 20 74 75 72 6b 65 79 2e 20 61 68 20 6b 6e 6f 77 20 79 6f 75 20 62 65 20 74 68 69 6e 6b 69 6e 60 20 64 61 74 20 68 65 20 70 65 65 70 20 61 6c 6c 20 63 75 74 65 20 61 6e 27 20 73 68 65 65 69 74 20 77 69 66 20 68 69 73 20 66 61 74 20 73 6c 61 62 73 20 68 61 6e 67 69 6e 67 20 6f 75 74 74 61 20 64 61 74 20 53 75 70 65 72 6d 61 6e 20 67 69 74 20 75 70 2e 20 48 65 20 64 6f 6e 27 2e 20 61 6e 27 20 61 68 20 6e 65 65 64 20 6d 75 68 20 6d 6f 74 68 61 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 20 63 68 69 63 6b 6e 20 6e 60 20 63 6f 72 6e 20 62 72 65 61 64 20 27 6e 20 77 61 66 66 6c 65 73 20 73 74 61 6d 70 73 20 74 61 20 74 72 61 64 65 20 66 6f 27 20 63 72 61 63 6b 20 77 69 66 20 33 20 44 61 77 67 20 6e 65 78 74 20 77 65 65 6b 2e 20 61 68 20 64 6f 6e 27 20 67 6f 74 73 20 64 61 20 70 61 70 65 72 20 74 61 20 73 70 61 72 65 2e 20 4b 69 64 20 6e 65 65 64 73 20 74 61 20 65 78 65 72 63 69 73 65 2e 20 64 65 6d 20 66 61 74 20 72 6f 6c 6c 73 20 77 6f 6e 27 74 20 62 65 20 6d 75 63 68 20 68 65 60 70 20 77 68 65 6e 20 68 65 27 73 20 72 75 6e 6e 69 6e 67 20 66 72 6f 6d 20 64 61 20 70 6f 2d 70 6f 20 6c 61 74 65 72 20 6f 6e 2e 0d 0a 0d 0a 50 65 61 63 65 2c 20 75 68 20 62 72 75 64 64 61 20 69 6e 20 64 61 20 68 6f 6f 64 2e 20 79 61 27 6c 6c 20 69 73 20 6d 61 64 20 73 74 75 70 69 64 2e
     
  22. Moscow

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    It's not just about football

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    my autism level obviously isn't high enough, what's that typed in?
     
  23. Massgrav

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    EDF Elite

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    Hex :)
     
  24. Popcorn

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    lightly salted

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    ASCII hex representation is too obvious.

    Use EBCDIC instead of ASCII so they have to research a little.
     
  25. Massgrav

    Massgrav
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    bm8= :)
     
  26. Lou 500

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    [​IMG]
     
  27. Baya Rae 4900

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    Lawlman

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    Now imagine a million of them doing it all at once.
     
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  28. The Lieutenant

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    You mean the few and far between pranksters? Nah, they're cool.
     
  29. WhiteOmega

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    Girlvinyl

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  30. The Lieutenant

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    EDF Hero

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    Yo dear patriotic americans, ah be currently unable ta provide halloween treats ta yo' xxxl-sized child who iz bursting out o' da seams o' his superman nigga-o'-steel costume cuz ah don' feel like usin` muh motha fuckin chickn n` corn bread 'n waffles stamps ta pay fo' 14 pounds o' nerds candies an' butterfingers. if you could stick yo' child on uh treadmill twice uh week an' dangle uh happy meal an' uh diet coke in front o' him, ah'll be mo' obliging next year. yo' neighbor don't make me shank ya!