This is what happens when shit happens.

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Baya Rae 4900, Jun 26, 2012.

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  1. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    I suck at drawing so you'll have to use your imagination. Imagine somebody on a toilet. They've got violent diarrhoea and the paper roll has slid onto the floor, just out of reach. The toilet paper represents your dreams, the shit coming out of your ass represents reality and the toilet represents your responsibilities. Are you following me? Good. Try as you might you can't reach the paper roll. Suddenly, you make a go for it, hoping that the shit doesn't come out of your ass before you get back. It does. Shit goes everywhere. It goes all over the floor, which represents the path to your dreams, it goes all over the walls, which represents both your security, it goes all over the door, which represents your dignity and reputation, and it even goes all over the ceiling, which represents the age of your death, due to your industrial pump of an ass. It goes everywhere, except the toilet. As you lie flat on your face on the floor, quietly sobbing and covered in shit, you ponder what could've been. All the while pieces of shit keep flying with every fart you make, and they are frequent. You don't even have the energy to hope that somebody doesn't open the toilet door before you have a chance to fuck off.

    Do you understand? Does it finally make sense?
     
  2. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    And where exactly does masturbation fit into all this?
     
  3. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Fuck. I knew I forgot something.
     
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  4. Bottom Feeder

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    Likeicares Bitch

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    Forget about OP, look at this shit.

     
  5. Lloyd

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    If you could draw, I bet your drawings would be like the drawings of these caricaturists that spell everything out (the fat guy in the suit being labeled "The Man", crying Lady Liberty etc).

    Seriously, your allegories would be a lot better if you didn't (over)explain them. It kind of defeats the point of making an allegory in the first place instead of just saying "listen up I got life and all figured out and this is how it works y'all".
     
  6. SuzanneMarie

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    Dramacrat

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    dim view.
     

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  7. Harpoons

    Harpoons
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    Fissure of Man

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    Just stop eating so much curry.
     
  8. CallMeMaggot

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    Girlvinyl

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    Good analogy. Keep the analysis. But try to avoid pointless analepsis in the discourse, that way it'll make to the anals of EDF.
     
  9. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    My guess is that you don't realise this is a joke thread and not meant to be taken seriously.
     
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  10. rageahol

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    Dramacrat

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    Something like that happened to me in college once. My roommate and I hadn't eaten for days and resorted to stealing whatever we could from our shitty Mormon neighbors. After a while we were down to a can of corn, which I pried open with a stiletto and a flathead screwdriver and ate because xanax and peer pressure will effectively kill any lick of common sense one has.

    After about half an hour on the terlet, I was convinced my guts were shooting out my ass and I was going to die and the ambulance people would find me there and I'd make the rounds on rotten.com and become an urban legend.

    I found the whole experience less reminiscent of the human experience and more a cautionary tale for those inclined to eat fucking anything. Then again, I'm rather a literal sort of person.

    *twirls*

    tumblr_m57i5z0S2K1rxqht2o1_500.
     
  11. Murdoc esp

    Murdoc esp
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    EDF Elite

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    Wtf...there's no peptobismol in Australia?
     
  12. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    God, I love that picture. It's so fucking trippy.
     
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  13. Scorch

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    You just described every single thread on this fucking website.
     
  14. Lloyd

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    I'd say "oh, ye olde fallback excuse"... but ok.
     
  15. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    How can you not see it was made to entertain you and other EDFellas? Is there some sort of language barrier between us or something?
     
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  16. Lloyd

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    Oh, I get it. That was just an especially half-assed attempt at trolling. I guess even as a joke it's not very good.
     
  17. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    ...no. It was just something I had written for everybody to gloss over and to laugh at. I'm going to go ahead and assume that it's just a language/cultural barrier that's preventing you from getting it and not any form of mental retardation.
     
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  18. Lord Raptor

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    Girlvinyl

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    I think the most shocking thing of that video is realize that the guy who played Mr. Blonde in Reservoir Dogs is in the lead role, what the fuck.
     
  19. ge5undhe17

    ge5undhe17
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    Girlvinyl

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    Birdemic's sequel?
     
  20. Lloyd

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    I pride myself on being close to a native speaker in English... but you know what they say about Germans and humor.
     
  21. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Yeah, that you have none. Even when you're talking normally you sound pissed off. You're the Vietnamese of Europe. Except they don't surrender as soon as the fight comes to their home turf.
     
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  22. Seku

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    Why don't you wait until taking the entire shit before reaching for the toilet paper?
     
  23. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    But then my analogy doesn't make any sense, don't you see?
     
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  24. Seku

    Seku
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    Or maybe it means you should wait until you've fulfilled your doodies and responsibilities before trying to realize your dreams.

    EDIT: Oh wait, that was the joke.
     
  25. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    You're smarter than I thought, Seku. Look, I feel as though Lloyd has wrecked the joke and this thread along with it. I would prefer it to enter the bottomless and all consuming abyss that is page two.
     
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  26. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    Not happening.
     
  27. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Reverse psychology: works every time.

    (On passive-aggressive twits, I mean.)
     
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  28. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    lol nice try, spin doctor.
     
  29. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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  30. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    teehee
    pffft.