***The Official Thread of The Church of Ahriman***

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by lulzbomb, Mar 14, 2013.

  1. lulzbomb

    lulzbomb
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    Girlvinyl

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    Hay kids
    Does conventional LHP ,and satanic based religions got you down?
    Are you in a spiritual rut that you cant seem to get your self out of?
    Is individuality to hard for you to grasp?
    Do you have a taste in really shitty music(Korn,ICP,ect)?
    Is religion the only way you are ever going to get laid?
    Cant land a Clergy Job in the Church of satan ,or The Order of Phosphorious looking like This?:[​IMG] Allah akbar.
    Do you have a Boner for Zoroastrian Demonology,and getting butthurt over the slightest criticism?
    Been rejected from every philosophical order on earth?
    WELL DO I HAVE A CHURCH FOR YOU ,OR WHAT!!!!
    Come on down ,and Join The Church Of Ahriman:
    http://churchofahriman.org/
    http://churchofahriman.net/
    Best trolling results are here : http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfAhrimanMassachusettsSyndicate?ref=ts&fref=ts
    http://www.facebook.com/ChurchOfAhrimanMassachusettsSyndicate/info

    Main body of the Church: http://www.facebook.com/Churchofahriman?ref=ts&fref=ts

    Basic Over view of main Characters:
    Dastur Adams Daniels: The main man , founder ,and head of Church Convicted of rape.
    The Mobed(priest hood):
    Kelsey Daniels: A unfunny psudo troll who seems to be the neck of the organization giving orders down the chain of command.
    Cake Head (AKA Jeremy Melvin): Seems to be more of a Lacky to the Above mentioned . Seems to be a tool for sex magick ,and propaganda spamming a really dedicated member not as easily offended as Kelsey, but will unwittingly disassociate with people at her will(pussy ,and cock whiped poor little fella).
    Peter J Caira(The psudo towel nigger posted above) : Recently "Mobed" as the head of the Church's massachussetts chapter he has been a member of various other orders , but the philosophy of independance was to much for him. He needed worship ,and devotion.
    He is the easiest member of the Clergy to troll. He often reacts hilariously to criticism ,and sarcasm. He is so easy even a 4chan newfag can troll him . His reactions range from Declairing internet holy war , to taking funny towel nigger photos. Obviously he is the ChrisChan of the group.
     
  2. Aroukar

    Aroukar
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    EDF Elite

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    Interesting "religion". Ahura Mazda will shout away this foul darkness at the end of time.
     
  3. lulzbomb

    lulzbomb
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    Girlvinyl

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  4. Druggalo

    Druggalo
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    Dramacrat

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    "The Church of Ahriman is closed." Lol.

    Fuck the Church of Satan, too. Peter Gilmore is a greedy, manipulative, slimy rapist bastard who has no concern for the people he steps on, and I respect that, but the org itself is a fucking joke. Props to them for getting rich by jewing angsty teenagers out of $200 of their parents' hard-earned cash, but I'd never join in a million years.

    I have more respect for TOPH, but I can't join because I'm a mentally ill criminal. Their grimoires are pretty awesome, though.
     
  5. lulzbomb

    lulzbomb
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    Girlvinyl

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    I agree Ford's work has a nice Hermetic feel to it. I think if some one from say the Golden Dawn system wanted to try a strictly LHP paradigm then TOPH would be worth a try. Of course I couldnt justify joining TOPH because I dont like bogging my self down to just one paradigm.

    LOL I cant believe they got owned that hard.
     
  6. lulzbomb

    lulzbomb
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    Girlvinyl

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    They dont need a sword to beat you nasty trolls making fun of them over ripoff report. They have an intro class on aikido.
     
  7. tyciol

    tyciol
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    pedophile

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    I own "Pantheons of the Megaverse" and Ahriman has some badass stats in there. He's even referred to later in Rifts Mercenaries. Unlike most dark gods who sit on their ass, he learned how to make power armor and robots out of demons, so that anyone who pilots them eventually becomes a demon under his control, and he even makes them pay for it. Guy fucking rules.
     
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