The Most Serious Problem Facing Our Nation!!!

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by Dr. Rice, Mar 27, 2012.

  1. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    We live in a modern and decadent age in which numerous pleasures are available at our fingertips. As a technocrat I do support the modernization and subsequently the commercialization of pleasures as long as artists receive payments for their works. Though there is a dark side to all this. Due to all this decadence, numerous forms of entertainment distract the industrious and pious individual from his/her most holy purpose: creation, maintenance, and (rebirth through) destruction on the individual level throughout God's creation. These entertainments include many things, such as: violent video games, MTV, 4chan, children's cartoons, dance parties, and crystal meth. However, as serious as these problems are, they do not even come close to comparison to the greatest distraction that the humble individual can tempt his/herself with.

    Yes, I am speaking of the dreaded procrasterbation! Some of you might be wondering, "Dr. Rice, I am a pure and innocent individual and do not know what procrasterbation is." I am glad you have remained ignorant of this most poisonous of indecencies, but I have to educate you and everyone who reads this on the nature of procrasterbation.

    Procrasterbation is the act of procrastination by masturbating. You might be wondering, "Dr. Rice what is wrong with masturbation?" There is nothing wrong with modest masturbation, in fact studies on the internet say that not masturbating (or any sexual stimulation) for extended periods of time result in mental issues. However, modest masturbation is not procrasterbation.

    Let me demonstrate a typical scenarios of procasterbation logic:

    "Why go to work when I can get all the enjoyment out of life by touching my penis and looking at pictures of Draenei women take it in the ass? Why should I support my family when all I want is cartoon women getting DP?"

    or

    "I could be cramming for the exam in my nursing class tomorrow, but why bother when I can jam my fist into my vagina a bunch of times really fast? Certainly that is more rewarding than healing the sick."

    or

    "I could increasing the value of rape dollars per unit, but that is too much work. Someone else can rape in my place tonight. I'd rather just pleasure myself with anal beads and an anime blowup doll. Why should I care about increasing the value of rape dollars for my country, because what has my government ever done for me?"

    All of these examples show the detriment that procrasterbation has upon our society. It takes normally productive individuals and turns them into nothing more than slaves of their own self-gratification. So fight the good fight and stop procrasterbation! Educate people about the dangers of procrasterbation and most importantly, don't stop your productive purpose by procrasterbation
     
  2. truth

    truth
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    Dramacrat

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  3. Harpoons

    Harpoons
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    Fissure of Man

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  4. Ronny

    Ronny
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    Girlvinyl

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  5. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Girlvinyl

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    I don't know, procasterbation sounds way better than everything else you mentioned.
     
  6. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    The heros are chronic masturbators, who take these activities to work. God bless.