The Church of Science

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by Dr. Rice, Sep 18, 2011.

  1. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    As the popularity of the Young Conservative Gun Club (YCGC) and the ideology of the fascist left continue to win over the hearts and minds of the masses, we (the leaders of YCGC) need to indoctrinate you into the basic tenets of our ideology.

    While the leaders of the YCGC believe in their own religious beliefs and practice them in the privacy of their lives (as what kind of ideological leaders would we be if we weren’t into the occult?), when we don the roles as members of the YCGC, we don the robes of secularism through The Church of Science.

    We as humans must be strong otherwise the incalculable forces that work to destroy our lives and our species will succeed. While religion can be used for good, in the past it was used to control the weak and keep them in their place, in essence to keep them powerless. The Church of Science is different. While you will be kept in your place, you will be happy there. Why is that? As religion in the past have been used to oppress the masses (as religion is nothing more than another form of fascism), we realize the true tenets of the fascist doctrine. The symbol of the fasci demonstrates this, what is stronger: a bundle of weak, fragile, ignorant, starving, and poor rods or strong, robust, intelligent, fed, and well-paid rods? The latter is clearly superior in every way.

    So if we don’t oppress the masses, but instead raise them above the poverty and desolateness that is encouraged and the status quo in the capitalist and socialist systems, then how are we true fascists? We follow the true tenets of the founders of Fascism, the fascist left. We force the masses to conform to our way of life: the cooperation between classes via syndicalism, the life of a strong individual, and the Church of Science.

    In the Church of Science, there is only one True God. The True God being the laws and principles that make this universe possible. The priests of this church are merely observers and recorders in the temple that is existence. Traditionally in a religion, a theocracy of old men who tell you to conform to a lifestyle, instead in the Church of Science it is a technocracy of various individuals of merit will tell you how to conform. Instead of conforming based on the whims of priests sitting upon thrones of gold and dogma. The priests of this temple educated the devotees about the doctrine of the Church, making their lives more efficient, healthier, and rewarding.

    For example, while various idiots of many ideologies are fighting about global warming/climate change. One side is arguing that this phenomenon is man-made, and the other side is arguing it is natural. While both sides have good evidence for their sides, they are none the less both wrong. Instead of quibbling like children about whose fault is it, they should be addressing what is to be done. What isn’t up for debate is that the world is changing and things need to be done to minimize the damage. The Church of Science does not care for reasons; it cares for action and results. Laying blame is a game that only creates losers in the end.

    While we at the Church of Science believe in logic and the scientific method, the leaders of the Church believe in Chi. Chi is a generic and all encompassing term used to describe preternatural phenomena that cannot be explain with current doctrine (human observation and understanding of the laws of the universe). Despite the diversity of Chi phenomena, it is not unknowable or indefinable. Chi is merely scientific law we cannot currently comprehend with our limited capabilities. However, when we do, it can be defined in mathematic formulas and scientific theories.

    If the Church of Science sounds good to you, we are currently looking for proselytes for our new temple. Join today!
     
  2. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    The first course of action to be carried out by the Church of Science is the "Hash Chambers." We round up all the people who have a problem with marijuana and stick them into a large gas chamber and proceed to pump it full of hash smoke. They will get high until they like it. We will keep doing this to non-believers until they have all been gassed into liking marijuana.
     
  3. Rape Train

    Rape Train
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    This seems like it would get alot of stoners to say they don't like marijuana.
     
  4. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    Well obviously, but we can just gas them all. To be honest, I'd gas myself with hash.
     
  5. Rape Train

    Rape Train
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    It sounds like a lame excuse to do drugs. I'm in.