Teens Promised Illuminati Membership In Return for Sex

Discussion in 'News' started by HeliosOne, Sep 26, 2013.

  1. HeliosOne

    HeliosOne
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    http://chronicle.northcoastnow.com/2013/09/25/illuminati-sex-schemer-reaches-plea-deal/
    http://www.infowars.com/teens-promised-illuminati-membership-in-return-for-sex/
     
  2. j15m

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    I bet that would work just as well on women over 18.

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  3. Baya Rae 4900

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    Lawlman

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    How pitiful. How petty.
     
  4. Likeicare

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    At least they though they were getting something out of it, surely thats better than just raping them

    Though tbh, I wouldnt go through the trouble of making up the story, id just tie them up
     
  5. Robert Paulson

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    A real Illuminatus wouldn't need to.
     
  6. Onideus

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    I dunno, I think the man deserves a medal personally. Anyone whose actually stupid enough to fall for such a blatantly retarded scam doesn't simply deserve to get fucked over, they literally *NEED* to get fucked over. In fact I'd go so far as to say that we, as a society, have a MORAL OBLIGATION to screw stupid fucking morons up the ass at every opportunity, simply because dipshits of that nature are so earth shatteringly stupid that they honestly CANNOT LEARN unless they're personally screwed in such a manner (and even then sometimes it takes six or eight times before the message really starts to sink in).
     
  7. xXtryingtoohardXx

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    Jeez, the Illuminati must be getting desperate.
     
  8. Likeicare

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    Seeing as we're on the subiect of sex, when was your last experience?
     
  9. Onideus

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    A month I think? Maybe less. I dunno, I don't really keep track. It's usually not my idea. Pain meds have a tendency to kill your sex drive, cause when you're taking them it's like having sex ~constantly~ with ~everyfuckingthing~. So even when I'm having sex it's more for the lady than it is for me...which is probably why women in general like having sex with me (cause I basically prioritize their needs)...well, that and I'm just so darn kyoot! :D
     
  10. Likeicare

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    Your hand doesnt count
     
  11. Likeicare

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    Personally I couldnt go without sex for longer than a week and a half without killing myself
     
  12. Onideus

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    Ugly chicks don't count either...but then, I suppose for you, anything is better than nothing. LOL
     
  13. Onideus

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    FYI, you sound like someone whose never had sex.
     
  14. Likeicare

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    Mmmmm sure
     
  15. Likeicare

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    I actually lolled at that coming from you
     
  16. Likeicare

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    Btw, its who's......I can't believe someone of your enourmous mental capacity could fuck that up
     
  17. Onideus

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    You're a baby-faced tweenybopper though so you shouldn't really sweat it, it's not that big a deal to be a virgin when you're still in high school...in fact it's generally better I'd say. You don't need to go around playing pretend with "trying too hard" overcompensating comments like "I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT SEX!!1!" It just makes you sound like a tryhard fuckwit, seriously.
     
  18. Likeicare

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    Mmmmm im 20, and have been in a steady relationship for the last 3 years.......keep going
     
  19. Onideus

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    You're not 20, keep dreaming. You look more like 15/16, but I can understand the need to lie about your age online when you're obviously underage. As far as the "steady relationship", like you said, your hand (Jill) doesn't count.
     
  20. Dr. Rice

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    What fucking amateur hour. Clearly a non-Magi here. If he were a Magi, he'd lure them minors in with promises of teaching them magic, and then when they got to a point in skill, he'd be like "so if you want to summon beings? Especially from the Archetypical realm? We need to use Svadhisthana. In order to do this, we could either masturbate a lot, or have some sex. You have a boyfriend? Well if you want to do it properly, I'd have to watch to instruct, but given he is non-Magi, things might not work out properly. Which I expect will happen given his inability to power up his Svadhisthana. It is your choice about how efficient you want to be with learning conjuration magic. I have a bit of experience with this, but my skill as an occultist should guide us through this process with utmost haste!"

    But this is just my opinion as a "non-Magi" who certainly doesn't belong to any wizard societies according to @likeicare who is an expert on all things due to his enlightenment resulting from meth smoking.
     
  21. Twaek

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    You seem very familiar with this practice.
     
  22. Dr. Rice

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    I have a rough idea what to do with summoning spells. Though there is more than simply using the Svadhisthana. I believe one has to realize their Merkaba in addition to using their sex chakra, but I will have to consult this with a Master to confirm this suspicion. You cannot simply do something so dangerous with what is the typical minor because of their given skill level and what they are likely to learn within their status as a minor. You will need someone who is above the legal age limit to do such dangerous magic. Not to mention, my testing is that at least children as old as 10 do not respond to chakras. I suspect that 14 might be the "right age" for developing such abilities, but given the rates the average person learns, they will probably not be ready for such things until they are in their early twenties.
     
  23. Baya Rae 4900

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    Clearly.
     
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  24. Milwin

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    I see a bunch of faggots going off-topic.

    anyways, those teens are dumb blahblahblah

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  25. Likeicare

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    Lol, im pretty sure 4/2/1993 means im 20, if ive got the maths right
     
  26. Fat Rambo

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    Can Onideus and likeicare just shut the fuck up ?

    I'm sick of this shit, just make a thread and suck eachothers dicks there

    Bunch of faggots.
     
  27. Likeicare

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    Sick of what shit?
     
  28. Fat Rambo

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    Fucking you, this thread, every living, breathing, cell in your wretched fucking body.
     
  29. Likeicare

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    Check your privilege, faggot