Tard Tales 2: Electric Boogaloo

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by BIG RED, Sep 28, 2011.

  1. BIG RED

    BIG RED
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    Hey gaiz,

    I'm a newfag here. Just introducing myself. I live in NY and I make music sometimes. Wanna know anything about me, don't be a pussy. Just ask. Do it faggot.

    One more thing. Feel free to post stories of your random encounters with various tards.
     
  2. Heskett

    Heskett
    Expand Collapse
    Boyvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    1,736
    Occupation:
    Fellatio Aficionado
    One post in, and you've already fucked up. Good job!
     
  3. BIG RED

    BIG RED
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    Thank you sir. I do try.
     
  4. Regi

    Regi
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2011
    Messages:
    1,531
    Occupation:
    original shitposter
    Home Page:
    i want to ask you,would you get out of your faggot dad basement and get a life
     
  5. oddguy

    oddguy
    Expand Collapse
    The Prime Memeister

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    26,930
    Occupation:
    rare deepwater jew
    Home Page:
    i have a question for ya.
    late at night,when you think about my dick in your mouth...
    how do you imagine it tasting ?
     
  6. Regi

    Regi
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2011
    Messages:
    1,531
    Occupation:
    original shitposter
    Home Page:
    shut up homo,you could ask your dad anyway
     
  7. oddguy

    oddguy
    Expand Collapse
    The Prime Memeister

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    26,930
    Occupation:
    rare deepwater jew
    Home Page:
    hahaha...
    hay buddy,what does this sound remind you of ?
    slurp slurp slurp...
     
  8. BIG RED

    BIG RED
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    uh, what's a basement? DERP
     
  9. Regi

    Regi
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2011
    Messages:
    1,531
    Occupation:
    original shitposter
    Home Page:
    HA,U MADE A HOLY SHOW OF YOURSELF
     
  10. madh8r

    madh8r
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,687
    Home Page:
    I hate people that make posts in noob introduction forum, but you have made one of these posts outside the designated area. I ask you then, is this thread a stand of rougish rebellion, to thumb your nose at the ivory tower of EDF2, or an error of fucktared idiocy brought about by having an extra chromosone?
     
  11. Regi

    Regi
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2011
    Messages:
    1,531
    Occupation:
    original shitposter
    Home Page:
    haha get a house and leave your mom basement
     
  12. BIG RED

    BIG RED
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    Honestly, I have no idea how to use this site. I just wanted to introduce myself and hear some funny tard stories. No rebellion intended. If anything, I'm starting to think that nobody actually introduces themselves on here.
     
  13. BIG RED

    BIG RED
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    That comment doesn't apply to me sir. I rent an apartment.
     
  14. BIG RED

    BIG RED
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    I admit. I fucked up. Wrong category. My bad. Just forget this happened.

    YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING
     
  15. Regi

    Regi
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2011
    Messages:
    1,531
    Occupation:
    original shitposter
    Home Page:
    haha ,k my trolling desire has been satisfied today....fag
     
  16. BIG RED

    BIG RED
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    You spoil me with your words of excessive kindness.
     
  17. BIG RED

    BIG RED
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    I imagine it tastes like I went back in time and raped Hitler.

    Word :gaben:
     
  18. Web v1.0

    Web v1.0
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,016
  19. Web v1.0

    Web v1.0
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2011
    Messages:
    1,016
    P.S. Welcome Big Red.
     
  20. m450n_yuno

    m450n_yuno
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2011
    Messages:
    813
    Occupation:
    Professional Basement Dweller
    You should have said, "Big Red, If you don't like me, fuck you."
    Anyways a big nyan welcome to y0u:nyan2:.
    PROTIP: Don't be a faggot.
     
  21. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
    Expand Collapse
    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    10,697
    Occupation:
    Dank Memes professor of Dank Community College.
    Home Page:
    Just gonna end the retardation thats going on here to ask.
    What sort of music to you make?
     
  22. BIG RED

    BIG RED
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2011
    Messages:
    13
    Mostly Hip-Hop, but I've recently been experimenting with metal and dubstep
     
  23. SuperSpecialSuperStar

    SuperSpecialSuperStar
    Expand Collapse
    2011 Faggot of the Year

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2011
    Messages:
    4,401
    Occupation:
    Frog Mercenary
    Home Page:
    Thanks for making a sequel to my thread :3
     
  24. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
    Expand Collapse
    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    10,697
    Occupation:
    Dank Memes professor of Dank Community College.
    Home Page:
    what thread is that?
     
  25. SuperSpecialSuperStar

    SuperSpecialSuperStar
    Expand Collapse
    2011 Faggot of the Year

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2011
    Messages:
    4,401
    Occupation:
    Frog Mercenary
    Home Page:
  26. m450n_yuno

    m450n_yuno
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2011
    Messages:
    813
    Occupation:
    Professional Basement Dweller
    What do you listen to? Specific band names and artists and such. No ghetto nice corn ass motherfuckers are welcome here so be careful.
    I'm a metalfag but I also listen to Hiphop although never the radio ones. I tried to listen to the hiphop radio here in orlando and heard them playing bieber so I threw the radio into the wall, grabbed the nearest sharp blunt object and stuck it in my asshole to get rid of the pain from the music I just heard.
    inb4 ur such a faggot yuno (It's a fucking metaphor learn some class, cuntface)
     
  27. madh8r

    madh8r
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,687
    Home Page:
    All of a sudden this shit got interesting. Lets see your soundcloud faggot.
     
  28. Rock

    Rock
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    4,645
    Occupation:
    Pretty boy swag'n
    Home Page:
    Ok, here's another one of Rock's stories. My friend Eric was involving himself in a lot of volunteer work, and for about 3 months he was a minder for a heavily retarded fella named Westley or something like that. He said it was more of a "Big Brother" kind of thing rather than him being a nurse since it was one-on-one. Well, one day I was kicking it at another friends house, when Eric phones and says he's in the area and wanted to drop by real quick with the tard, we said ok and about a half-an-hour later he gets there.

    Eric gets there and awkwardly introduces West to us, it was funny to see Eric speak in that loud way to West to instruct him "WEST THIS IS MIKE AND ROCK, ROCK THIS IS MIKE AND WEST THEY ARE FRIENDS." West was by all accounts qualified to be a retard, he had one hand permantly up and one hand hung to about his side, as if he was trying to clap himself really hard or fire a haudoken, and he frequently laughed and snuffled to himself with no provocation. He was young but dressed up like a old man with a cardigan sweater and corduroy pants. I wasn't there long but I do remember him.

    While West was enjoying a Hi-C in the kitchen Eric comes over and tells Mike and I "Alright, whatever you do...do NOT mention french fries to him. He goes fucking crazy if you do." Mike and I laugh at this but Eric's stern face doesn't depart "No I'm serious you guys DO NO FUCKING MENTION french fries" then, without missing a fucking beat or without a pause in his sentence "I gotta take a shit, I'll be back and then him and I are taking off"

    He goes to take care of business, and I look over at Mike with a huge grin on my face "I'm gonna take off, see you tonight man" We were (and did) score weed that night, but I wanted to do other shit and besides.....I walked out to where West was and said in Eric's loud voice "IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU WEST" he looks up and smiles, his hands shaking and his eyes shinning, I get close and whisper/talk to him this "And guess what? Later today Eric's going to get you some french fries!"

    His eyes get huge, his perpetual jittering ceases, his face turns into of a expression that could be described as "beyond ecstasy" and then it happens.

    "FOO FOO FRIES! FOO FOO FRIES! FOO FOO FRIES! FOO FOO FRIES!" He moves like a vampire in a old movie, seeming to float across the ground at high speeds wailing his hands around like this
    [​IMG]
    FOO FOO FRIES
    FOO FOO FRIES
    FOO FOO FRIES
    FOO FOO FRIES
    And this is LOUDER THAN FUCK BY THE WAY. It was like somebody in a different house would yell "Fire!"
    FOO FOO FRIES.
    And I don't look back, I don't check how anybody's facial expression or reaction is, I open Mikes front door and wait for the sounds of....
    Eric after flushing and slamming the door open: "WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU!??!?!"
    And I flash a wink and a grin like a vaudeville performer of the Fallout Pip
    [​IMG]
    "Goodnight everybody!"
    And take off the next 7 hours.
    the end.
     
  29. madh8r

    madh8r
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Hero

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,687
    Home Page:
    Cool story bro
     
  30. jones

    jones
    Expand Collapse
    Ediot

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2011
    Messages:
    28
    Occupation:
    NSANET Sysadmin
    1. shut up douche bags please]
    would the pollacks kindly stope ating the urinal cakes

    THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!