so I'm fucked.

Discussion in 'Locker Room Talk' started by Helix, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    I can share the full story some other time perhaps, but here's the gist of it: I got caught by the cops, and my school in possession of bud, and my butterfly knife, I'm under suspicion of dealing, and I may be going to rehab and/or prison. All depends on how the court date goes. Yay for me!
     
  2. Rape Train

    Rape Train
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    EDF Hero

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    Why take weed to your school?
     
  3. Massgrav

    Massgrav
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    EDF Elite

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    Haha you fucking potheads crack me up! :D Good luck though.
     
  4. Immortal_Cake

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    Noice

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    Way to go! I always knew you could do it, Helix.
     
  5. Murdoc esp

    Murdoc esp
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    EDF Elite

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    soy un vago de mierda....
    damn dude, you are in deep shit right now. All I can tell you is deny everything , look for some scapegoats, blame some kikes on your school, and of course behave when you talk to the judge...
     
  6. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    So much EDF luv <3

    Shit's not all that bad, it's just having the butterfly knife on me on top of all the bud that complicates things. Of course the cop waited for me to pull into the parking lot before flagging me down, so the college is now involved in this...the good news is I'm not getting my ass expelled like I originally feared, but I have to do a month long in-patient rehab as part of the condition of me staying there. so uh...I guess in about a week, I'll see you guys in a month.
     
  7. uberfukken

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    Rainmaker

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  8. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    It's been a while since we had one of these threads...
     
  9. Dildo Baggins

    Dildo Baggins
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    EDF Hero

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    wait, your school is demanding you go to rehab, or the courts?
     
  10. Solution

    Solution
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    Everyone is boring

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    Where the fuck do you go to school, BYU?

    Anyway, you have my best wishes brotha, enjoy the therapy circle jerks and I hope you overcome your "Addiction".
     
  11. lulzbomb

    lulzbomb
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    Girlvinyl

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    :picard: God damnit.
     
  12. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    Psshh. You wussy. They're letting you off with a slap on the wrist. Come back and whine about your problems when you make death row.
     
  13. ComradeManximus

    ComradeManximus
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    Ediot

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    As long as you had your bud, under 1/8 roughly, in a single bag, you should be fine on dealing charges as you can eefectively prove it is for personal consumption. the knife thing is a whole different kettle of cunt, wtf you doing with that in schoo? If you have a DT class you could try blag it and say 'dem tools aint good enough bro'. But anyway, behave yourself in court, and as long as you have no previous, you will be fine.
     
  14. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    A butterfly knife!? everybody down!!

    Best of luck.
     
  15. Slavoj Jizzek

    Slavoj Jizzek
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    Girlvinyl

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    Seriously.

    A butterfly knife is a shit weapon in a fight too. You could carry a fixed-blade and get off with a lighter punishment since fixed blades aren't "gang weapons" (everybody hide, he has a gang weapon with a 3 inch blade!!!! AAHHHHHHHH!). Actually, he'd be in less deep shit for having a "dagger" (both edges sharpened) than a balisong due to the negative association.

    I carry a SOG trident mini with a 1/3 serration for plausible deniability. For example.

    "Officer, do you really think I would be knife fighting with a blade that says "mini" on the side? A full third of the blade is serrated. This is a tool I use at home and to open letters, packages and things in the course of a day. I'm a model citizen. Ask my pastor."

    I keep the thing as sharp as a shiv and I sharpened an illegal false-edge on the back. I don't bother to tell the dumbass officer that, though.

    TL;DR,

    @Helix

    Don't carry a fucking gang-weapon next time. Also, try to get yours back as those silly pieces of shit seem to run for $120 a pop or more. I hope you got a deposit slip from the confiscator.

    EDIT: Also, this (http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/whatknife.htm).

    This forum still won't let me hyperlink.
     
  16. ComradeManximus

    ComradeManximus
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    Ediot

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    Regardless of whether or not you think the guy is carrying a pussy hole weapon, the school will think its a quadruple-mother-nigger-fuck-grinding-kill-saw, which is what we need to address. We need to help him blag it.
     
  17. Sugar Bombs

    Sugar Bombs
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    Daddy

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    I love you @Helix
    Write some fucking gritty songs in rehab with a harmonica
     
  18. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    fuckin' america... how you gonna shoot the school up with a knife?
     
  19. Murdoc esp

    Murdoc esp
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    EDF Elite

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    soy un vago de mierda....
    [​IMG] :preston:
     
  20. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    I wasn't carrying it around for self defense, what the fuck do I have to defend myself from anyways? For the record, I got mine for just over forty bucks too, and it works just as well as those crazy expensive ones. It's really more of a tool that I can also flip around when I'm bored as shit.

    lol, I'm well aware they let me off easy, I'm just grateful I'm not going to prison.

    School.
     
  21. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    So here's what happened: I went to some random neighborhood to wake and bake before class, and somebody saw me from their back window and called the cops. I drove all the way to class, and the fucking cop followed me for fifteen minutes and waited for me to reach my destination before pulling me over, which is why the school was even a part of this at all. So now I have to do a month long in-patient rehab so I don't get expelled.
     
  22. Sugar Bombs

    Sugar Bombs
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    Daddy

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    For all the non-potheads, knives are incredibly useful for our habit, i.e. opening blunt skins, standing in for a grinder if unavailable and a fine grain is desired, stabbing people who rip us off on our bags
     
  23. lulzyer

    lulzyer
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    Attorney at lol

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    You will be fine. Prison time is determined by 1. Prior felonies and 2. if you were probation or not at the time of the current offense. You'll pay a fine.
     
  24. TheBrickBalls

    TheBrickBalls
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    Girlvinyl

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    [​IMG]
     
  25. Stephen

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    EDF Hero

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    HELIX

    I'M SO SORRY BRO, I TOLD 'EM EVERYTHING, THEY MADE ME LOOK AT BAYAS PORTRAIT UNTIL I CAVED!

    stash. stash. stash.
     
  26. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    I smoke as a I walk through the neighborhood near my school. However, I really don't give a fuck about the cops at my college. The highest ranking officer at the school over the past 10 years has embezzled over one million dollars from the parking meters, he was in charge of training cadets who patrol around. But these people, besides being dumb fucks (I could go into the details about how students/officers under him never questioned the bullshit he did), they are also pussies so I am not worried about them giving me shit.
     
  27. Harpoons

    Harpoons
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    Fissure of Man

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    From being such a whiny bitch?
     
  28. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    hurrdurr, good one. I would be more offended, but nobody takes you seriously because you just do that to everybody :)
     
  29. Khanzer

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    EDF official mascot

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    I don't know why you pot-head always try to smoke in public places, is getting caught and being raped by bubba that awesome?
     
  30. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    I guess we get it in our heads that nobody gives a shit about us smoking a little dope from time to time, which is usually true...there's always butthurt faggots out there though. I ain't gonna change shit when I go to rehab as far as habits, but one thing's for sure...definitely keeping my shit a little more discrete from here on out.

    This is my last day, I guess I'll see you fine folks in a month. I'll miss you, EDF <3