So I'm facing drug charges

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Lloyd, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. Lloyd

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    ...been there, done that so I don't really need any advice (not that any of you know shit about German law and procedures anyway).

    But the story is too good (actually, stupid) not to tell. It all happened this sunday morning and it all was due to a practical joke gone wrong.

    You see, my roomate was away for the weekend and he knows that when it's cold outside, I don't like to open my window.But I also don't like my room getting all hot-boxey when I smoke my bud, so when I'm alone at home I just open the door to my room and let the smoke waft out into the hall. Now he figured that it would be pretty funny to take the smoke detector off the wall and hide it right next to my door.

    And of course, at about 8 am, after having spent the night playing Skyrim for 7+ hours and chatting on the our shoutbox here for at least an hour after that, I figured maybe now was the time to go to bed finally. Not to sleep in a room all stuffy and smokey, I opened the door and suddenly, EAR RAPE!

    I know smoke alarms are supposed to be loud, but damn, that beep was like straight from tech-hell. I managed to get it to STFU and returned to the internetz.
    Some minutes later, one of the neighbors, an anal-retentive old fart of the highest grade, rings the doorbell. I ignore him and keep chatting, but when he is still there and still ringing minutes later I'm afraid he'll call the Fire Dept if I don't tell him all is fine.

    Turns out the smug old bastard just wanted to tell me with all his righteous indignation that he had called the cops on my ass. ETA for the police on a sunday morning for low-priority crap like this is normally 40+ minutes in this part of town, so I figure I'd have enough time to get the place ventilated and sober up a bit.

    But as chance would have it, a squad car was right around the corner and less than 10 minutes later the cops are at my door. At this point, the place still smelled like a bud plantation and I was noticeably impaired. I couldn't just wait it out, because the law here says that if you take too long
    to open up when the cops know you're there you basically automatically incriminate yourself (of whatever, the law just assumes you must have something to hide).

    I quickly conducted some emergency measures (air freshener lol), but I might as well not have. I opened the door, and the smell and my condition gave the cops all they needed to legally walk all over my civil rights, the fuckers. Hilarity ensued.

    Really, all they need here is "reasonable suspicion" to do a "visual search". I was so taken by susprise, most of my stuff was out in the open, and the cops basically said "you can hand over the rest, or we can haul you to the precinct and have the place searched". I suppose they thought I was a small-time dealer and was sitting on more than what I actually had. Anyway, not wanting to have my place trashed and knowing that the judges always love it when you're all nice and cooperative, I obliged.

    Now what I had was not too bad, but enough to not be a trifle. I still had a big piece of hash from the last shopping spree in Amsterdam (before the Dutch gov't cracked down on the sale of cannabis to foreign citizens 3 moths ago. Man, that was some adrenaline driving over the Dutch-German border with the first.aid kid full of hash sealed in candle wax in the trunk, but I digress).
    There must have been more than 2 grams still left, I guess, in my federal state that is enough that they automatically assume you had intention to sell, which is important because the mere possession is not illegal.
    More importantly I had some blow, was probably less than a gram left but they don't take kindly to cocaine here.

    All in all, there's no way I'm gonna get more than probation and lots of community service, but I have to pay for a lawyer, and that does kinda cut into your christmas funds, you know?
     
  2. lulzyer

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    ich bin ein answalt
     
  3. Lloyd

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    Lol than would be the stupidest move of all time, to pay an American lawyer to fly into Germany and then he knows shit about our laws.

    I'm actually a law student (well, technically) so I know a thing or two about our penal code.
     
  4. oddguy

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  5. Lloyd

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    I can't wrap my head around why that fucker called the police, then went to my door and told me.

    The only reason I can think of is that he gets a kick out of causing shit and wanted to tell me in person for extra gratification.
     
  6. Lloyd

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    bump this fucker
     
  7. Die In A Fire

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    Jesus fuckballs
     
  8. Lloyd

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    Hey bottom feeder, wrong thread or what?
     
  9. Bottom Feeder

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    LOL dude, you're totally right, Im so fucked up, not even THAT drunk yet. My bad.
     
  10. CallMeMaggot

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    Two things:
    1º punch roomate
    2º Buy Loctite, ruin old cunt neighbor's lock like... 5 times for example, waiting a couple of weeks every time

    That'll be a couple of hundred €s in vengeance, at least

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Flu

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    I see the Gestapo is alive and well in Germany, and headquartered in your complex.
     
  12. beefrave

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    can we. maybe HAVE THE OLD MANS ADDRESS NAME AND PHONE NUMBER?

    [​IMG]
     
  13. beefrave

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  14. Lloyd

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    He's more of a Stasi-type, he has an east-german accent at least.
     
  15. Lloyd

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    The adress is the same as mine (same house, diff appts) so no way I'm giving that out. I could try to find out his phone number though.
     
  16. 1H4T3NUMB3R5

    1H4T3NUMB3R5
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    Hey, i was there not posting ponies as much when shit went down. Sorry, luck wasn't on your side, going to make it harder for you to get the goods now too isn't it?
     
  17. Dildo Baggins

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    You've really made my day today bro. Its nice to know when you feeling down someone else got fucked in the ass harder than you today.:D
    I hope for the best for ya.
     
  18. Ghost People

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    Revenge

    Dogshit under his door handle, when he opens the door there's a time bomb at the end of the corridor. As it explodes put sunglasses on and say "Payback's a bitch."
     
  19. Lloyd

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    Probation here is not as bad as in the states where you have to check in every day with some supervisor and can get your premises randomly inspected and whatnot (at least that's what I know about probation procedures in the USA from The Sopranos).

    Still, no more buying from dealers that's just too high risk. Guess I'll have to call in some favors in the foreseeable future.
     
  20. 1H4T3NUMB3R5

    1H4T3NUMB3R5
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    I hope your miserable you pony fucking faggot. The infection has spread throughout my unconscious because of you. Burn in hell
    With love,
    1H4T3NUMB3R5​
     
  21. Dildo Baggins

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    meh probation in the states is usually preety easy. From what i know you only need to see the PO once a month or 2 and depending on your charges(if its drug related or not) you can be asked to get tested while at your PO visit. Ive never heard of anyone getting tested at other random times unless they fail them or just never show up to PO visits.
     
  22. Lloyd

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    Ya that's about what's coming to me, except I don't think I have to get tested. Consuming is not illegal.
     
  23. Andria Kilgore

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    Sorry about that... I would have killed the cop, then killed myself to avoid life imprisonment or the death penalty.
     
  24. Rock

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    Don't take prop 36 it's a trap!
     
  25. Lloyd

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    What's prop 36, is it one of those "legal deals" you have in the US of A?
     
  26. Rock

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    http://www.prop36.org/
    Implemented thanks to Robert Downey Juniors lawyer (seriously.) If you have a substance abuse case that doesn't involve selling it instead of jail time you can under go a outpatient drug rehabilitation for about a year, regular drug tests, classes, AA, the works.
    Mess up and your ass is going away for a long time though.
    So yeah, its a trap
     
  27. Lloyd

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    Interesting. The catch of any of these deals seems to be that they want you to become a different person altogether, which really should not be any of the state's business.
     
  28. scumhook

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    You need to give that old bastard a tour of Auschwitz. Fire up the ovens.
     
  29. Andria Kilgore

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    I think Auschwitz is in Poland, he will have to settle for Dachau... the ovens there still stand...
     
  30. Andria Kilgore

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    Agreed. If anyone else's business besides one's own, it should be in the hands of therapists, drug-and-alcohol counselors or doctors, not the gummyment...