Sir Wulfington Battle Grounds

Discussion in 'Hall of AEpic' started by slimelurker, May 29, 2015.

  1. Fraud Based Economy

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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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  2. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    so now he's a laughingstock in ED, GamerGate, Kiwifarms, mlp and cow.
    I think he has officially become a noteworthy lolcow.

    This is no longer gay forum drama
    anyone wants to write an article about him, feel free
     
  3. Fraud Based Economy

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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    Alright, I promised I'd fucking write this shit up and have hammered out a first draft. Obviously it's lacking the wiki formatting, EDifying links, images, quotes and some of the chronology, but I want an opinion before I take this shit any further. @oddguy what are your thoughts, and how do I get it up on the wiki (because when I wrote up TheDOSFag I pretty much just hijacked your fake article and turned it into a real one).

    [Spoiler = TL;DR First Draft]Greetings, dear friends. Tonight our humble bard will weave for you a tale of tragedy and woe about a misunderstood man-child, whose only crime was has vast and ardent love of animals. Thus begin the lamentations of Sir Wulfington, fallen knight and friend of nature.

    ==Once Upon a Time on The Internet==

    Our story opens long ago, in a shitty MMO far, far, away. When a sad, lonely, sexually-confused boy played World of Warcraft with a bit too much enthusiasm. Rather than innocent visions of sugar plums dancing in his head, he instead dreamed of sticking his twig and plumbs into a Lv 90night elf or some shit, all the while pining over his lack of an actual girlfriend. This bard is being generous, of course, in actuality he probably wanted to stick his twig and berries into an anthropomorphic wolf-woman. As this objective was thankfully impossible, it only served as a prelude to much darker perversions later on.

    ==Wulfington the Brony (and his further descent into madness)==

    Being a sad, weird, antisocial, loser it should come as no surprise that little Wulfy found his way into the barn and became a fan of My Little Pony. Of course, this further contributed to his friendless condition. Apparently, being a half-nigger IRL with incredibly low self-esteem, meant that he couldn't channel either white supremacy or his jungle blood to get ahead. Thus with no girlfriend in sight, his sexual preferences apparently switched from fucking imaginary wolf-women to just fucking plain old horses, or clopping as the parlance goes, with emphasis on his precious Fluttershy. On the bright side, he still managed to find the time to write TL;DR text walls about shit no one cares about, managing to utterly alienate himself from both his precious WoW cummunity, as well as some other internet shithole called Kiwi Farms where they have yet to appreciate the majesty of the almighty Comic Sans font. It was also around this time that he published some interesting thoughts about non-verbal consent with animals, and began selling poorly drawn MLP art to like-minded sexual deviants. He really didn't have much choice, for you see, Wulfington failed at life so spectactulary during that time it beggars belief. Even after sending out 600 job applications, he couldn't secure even one of them. Go big or go home, indeed. It can also be surmised that somewhere about this time he realized that dogs were less expensive to own than horses and decided that fucking them would be less expensive than a horse. Truly he is a great lover of nature, and at the very least also capable of performing a basic cost-benefit analysis.

    ==Wulfington comes to EDF (as a massive DAfag)==

    Wulfington burst onto the scene of EDF in 2014 by joining the DA forums on the website, which to this very day is still used as a quarantine zone for drawfags that can't seem to curb their unhealthy obsession with Tom Preston. Naturally, Wulfy fit right in. He quickly applied his vast experience from selling scribbles to mentally handicapped furfags to give some of the most vague, useless, and unhelpful art critiques this website has ever seen. Continuing his proud tradition of responding to fucking everything with obtuse text-walls he was quickly recognized for his efforts by the moderators of the website and nominated for the prestigious Faggot of the Year award in 2014, but eventually lost to Schnookums. Maybe he just didn't want it enough.

    ==Wulfington latches onto Gamergate==

    Then for a while nothing happened. Wulfy changed his avatar from some random crap to a dapper canine in a Victorian outfit. Naturally, every other user on EDF suspected the obvious. However, what they didn't expect was for him to latch onto GamerGate like a tick and singlehandedly contribute upwards of half the fucking posts in that entire thread. He continued to post even long after everyone else on the website stopped giving a shit. He was in essence EDF's biggest and faggiest GG cheerleader. Ethics in vidya was apparently so important to him that he started a shit fight at 8chan, which nobody on EDF paid attention to at the time, because of the aforementioned not giving a shit anymore.

    ==EDF goes Old Yeller on Wulfy==

    However, his crucial mistake came in 2015, when he picked a fight with a faggot on EDF called Ink-dude over shit no one cares about anymore. Basically, he tried to start a slap-fight to make another user look bad, so that he'd look better by consequence. However, little Wulfy miscalculated how easily rustled his own jimmies were, and Ink-dude turned the tables on him. Instead of quitting the field and coming back once the heat died down, he instead challenged the users to "come at him." He never stood a chance. In his arrogance he did not believe that EDFs valiant guild of E-champions could unmask him, and consequently his depraved off-site sick-fuckery was revealed and he went into full denial mode. Unfortunately, it was too late. As had happened with those that came before, he left in disgrace, forever bearing the mantle of a dog-fucker.[/spoiler]
     
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  4. uberfukken

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    obsolete mule

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  5. Ricki

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    Girlvinyl

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    Do you think that getting an article might lure him back here?
     
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  6. uberfukken

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    obsolete mule

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    Maybe
     
  7. slimelurker

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    I thought he wanted to fuck Rarity, not Fluttershy?
     
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  8. Solution

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    Everyone is boring

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    Lol, the creepy, dog fucking, pederast Devil is in the details.

    Good spot, broham.

    I applaud your attention to detail bat am appalled that you know that.
     
  9. slimelurker

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    I remember from back when his dA was shared in the Lulzy Critiques thread, and he drew Rarity a bit more often than the other ponies.
    [​IMG] His dA.

    I also think there were maybe one or two comments he made on the mlp forums that were shared in that thread, and they had to do with liking Rarity? Could be wrong about that bit though.
     
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  10. Likeicare

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    EDF is my hugbox

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    You must have a boring life
     
  11. Fraud Based Economy

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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    Please keep the external links coming. I already need to adjust the chronology of shit because that dog-fucker joined our forum first, and then two-timed with those fucking autists at Kiwi Farms and was kicked out in Jan of 2015. Well, if he thinks that his convoluted mess of an internet history will stop me from satirizing him into oblivion, then he's got another thing coming.
     
  12. Solution

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    Everyone is boring

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  13. slimelurker

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    @Fraud Based Economy
    I made a recap post a couple pages back in this thread, with a bunch of links to shit. It should help, maybe.
     
  14. Likeicare

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    EDF is my hugbox

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    Lol why do you people even care so much about this guy
     
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  15. uberfukken

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    obsolete mule

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    Bestiality apologist and one of the more inflamed cancer tumors of gamergate, he's been getting ridiculed out of communities long before he showed up here

    I can name about 30 hit piece articles off the top of my head that are less deserving than Sir Wulfington.
     
  16. Likeicare

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    EDF is my hugbox

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    I guess im just biased against anything to do with Gamergate
     
  17. Fraud Based Economy

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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    God damn it, Sol. Now, I want a badge of that thing.
     
  18. Solution

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    Everyone is boring

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    That's why I made it.
    You complete this article and make it full of haha 'n hmmm, I'll clean it up and sizes it for ya.
     
  19. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    tl;dr

    just write it
    I don't care
     
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  20. Fraud Based Economy

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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    Uber, already told me what I needed to know. And to revive a fun old meme.

    @oddguy pls move yourself to the geriatric home, because you are a :slowpoke:.

    Also the text-version of the page is up, but it still needs a shit-ton of formatting, pics, links to pics, and more quotes of later drama (i.e., the final meltdown). All of which is coming. I need to parse through and separate the wheat from the chaff. In my head it's already veering from a highlight reel into TL;DR territory, but maybe that just because I spent the last night going through it all, condensing it, and checking it. Still needs work.

    Oh, and before anyone asks yes the first quote is a straight-up lie, but I couldn't resist.
     
  21. zew0

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    2016 Faggot of the Year

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    I can help you with it if you want, if you need anything.
     
  22. uberfukken

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    obsolete mule

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    Needs more non-EDF related stuff

    Dude's got all kinds of threads on him all over the internet, including but not limited to getting banned from Kiwifarms and trying to start an uprising against 8chan on their own site. Most the links are buried in this thread somewhere
     
  23. Fraud Based Economy

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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    If you feel like doing something then by all means do whatever you want. ED is a wikia, I certainly don't "own" the article.
     
  24. Math Potatoes

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    He is a boy and yet he is also a fish

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    Wasn't sir wolfington the one who was being all creepy on some WOW forum?
     
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  25. Fraud Based Economy

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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    Can anyone help me make the following sentence more Rastafarian? (Wulfy's dad was from Jamaica.)

    "Boy, don't be playin' with the sled dogs dat way! Sheeit!"
     
  26. LulzKiller

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  27. dickwolf

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    Bay, don't be playin' wit da sled dogs dat way! Sheeit!

    It was pretty good already.
     
  28. Ricki

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    Girlvinyl

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    I added an image gallery for the DA section. Won't lie, it's hard getting screenshots when most of Wulfy's posts are longer than my screen.
     
  29. uberfukken

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    obsolete mule

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    Chrome add-on "full page screen capture" is what i use
     
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  30. zew0

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    2016 Faggot of the Year

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    Thanks, I was wondering how that was done.