Since we're posting shitty stories here, here's one.

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Nicole, Aug 25, 2013.

  1. Nicole

    Nicole
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    So last night, my friend (we'll call her Prop A) and I went to another friend's party in the shittier area of our town. It was boring as fuck, and the alcohol was too expensive, so Prop A and I decided to go for a walk to our old primary school, which was only about half a mile away. Our parents had been awesome and sent us to the closest cheapest nicest school they could. When we got there, we tried to go inside to fuck around on the playground, the only good thing about that school, but the damn gates were locked. But Prop A really had to do a piss, so she did one on the school's letterbox while I kept watch. Then we bought toffee apples from a supermarket (but we told everyone at the party we got them from Narnia), went back to the party and spent, like, $50 to get drunk. It sucked.

    The end.
     
  2. Cobalt

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    Girlvinyl

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    Is Prop A hot?
     
  3. Likeicare

    Likeicare
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    EDF is my hugbox

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    Lol but all of Geelong is shit? Its a Melbourne wannabe........how do you feel about looking over the bay every day and seeing my beautiful city
     
  4. MrGask

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    What kind of party charges for alcohol? And what kind of person doesn't have their friend distract the bartender whilst they sneak around and gaffle some bottles?
     
  5. Nicole

    Nicole
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    Fuck you, @likeicare. You're being racist Geelongist. At least we don't have a bunch of lazy black immigrants leeching off our welfare system. Our immigrants are Greek and asian, who actually work.
    Meh.
    Our friend's a cheap fuck who had her initial party at a club rather than at her house, in order to save on alcohol costs. We did go to her house afterwards, but all there was there was a cheap bottle of bourbon. Should've taken a piss on her letterbox too.
     
  6. MrGask

    MrGask
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    #FreeGask

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    Here is my story;

    This is the story of the original Noise Marines, the Emperor's Children. Once the favored of the Emperor's clones, the Children were wrought in His perfection. They had no equal in grace and beauty among their brothers. This would be their downfall. As Humanity progressed, the Children were called upon to fight, as were their brothers. They were sometimes called to abase themselves before others they considered savages and louts. This greatly troubled their leader, who sent his emissary to speak with the Emperor about this perceived slight. The Emperor, beset on all sides by petitions, wars, and internal intrigues, was had no time to meet with the Emissary. The Emissary waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, his pride could no longer be controlled, and he left, telling himself "The Emperor no longer has time for us, perhaps we are no longer his Children?" The Emissary returned to his leader, reporting all he had seen at the Palace. "The Emperor would not meet with me, Lord. He has turned away from his favored sons."
    The Leader flew into a rage "Are we not wrought in his image! Do we not strike with his hand! Do we not obey his word! How is it that he now, after so much sacrifice has no time for us!" The pursuit of perfection had tainted the Children. As they sought ever further to attain their Father's glory, they had slowly slipped into that most ancient of pits, Pride. It was their pride that led them to seek to prove themselves, to be the very pinnacle of what Humanity was capable of. Their prayers for relief and recognition had gone unanswered by their Father, and so they turned to another.
    Their new Mother was more than accommodating. Clasping the Children close, she told them of the glories withheld from them by their Father. "He does not want to see you prosper" She told them. "He fears you might attain his perfection, perhaps even surpass it." These words greatly troubled the Leader, and he fell into a deep fugue. His fellows sought to cheer their leader, offering up the best they universe had to offer. The sweetest wines, the most indulgent art, the greatest of sport. With each new thing, each surpassing the last, the Leader could only ask "Surely their must be more?" The Children sought new indulgence, louder music, sweeter drink, faster sport. Yet with each time they surpassed the last, their senses became duller. The music lost its melody, the food its taste, the sport its sensation. It began as a pin prick, yet ended as a deluge. The Leader, ever seeking new sensation, began to modify and change his form, adding a new organ here, a new sense there. Yet nothing could satisfy. There was no pinnacle, as each thing could be added onto, each chord enhanced, each food spiced, each sports record broken.
    The Leader, troubled by his dissatisfaction, sought the counsel of his brothers. "See how our Father has turned from us, how he leaves us here to languish as he seeks further glories. See how he has turned from us."
    "No" spoke his fellow Lord. "Our Emperor has not turned from us. You, his chosen Children, have turned from him."
    The Leader's pride could not bear this truth, and he stuck his fellow Lord down. The other Lords sought to subdue him, but they could not. The Emperor's Children could were, after all, the closet to their Father's perfection. Thinking his fellow Lords corrupted, the Leader fled, taking those that would follow with him. Again the Children sought to calm their leader, pushing themselves to grater excess. But nothing could allow them to attain the contentment they sought. So the Children became their Father's enemies. Ever pushing themselves to greater heights, they instead fell to the deepest depths. Now they stalk their brother clones, feeling nothing, hearing nothing, seeing nothing, their senses frayed and dulled by the constant need to feel something, anything.
    Beware the pit of Pride, for there are none that may safely fall into it.
     
  7. Cobalt

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    Girlvinyl

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    Tell me @Nicole why should we care if Prop A is only meh? Is she at least a slut?
     
  8. Nouble Digger

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    FURFRIEND

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    I have a shitty story.

    One time I was pooping in an outhouse on a trail. I had to shit so much and the outhouse was already so full that the mountain of shit accruing under my ass iceberged and touched my butt. I then gave my butt a hand sanitizer bath, and finished the trail feeling fresh.
     
  9. MrGask

    MrGask
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    #FreeGask

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    This fucking fly is determined to die. It was bugging on me, so I caught it and tuned it into a walk. Then it climbed all the way onto the ceiling so it could drop down onto my face.
     
  10. gigantopithecus

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    At last! Someone found me! I've been through so much just to find you. What you are holding is what I turned into after an incident happened quiet a while ago. Ah! I must be rude to not introduce myself, my name is Li, at least I think so. I am about 14 the last time I checked, and yes I am a female. I am writing this to explain how I got here. I used to live in a small town in California. It was a beautiful countryside. I was awaken by my noisy alarm clock. "Ugh, first day of school...", I groaned. I stumbled into the bathroom and reached for the doorknob, as I did, I heard whispering, "Must b-b-be my s-s-sister snoring...", I mumbled to myself as I gently shut the door. I grabbed my green toothbrush and grabbed the minty toothpaste. I touched a tad of toothpaste onto my toothbrush, then shoved it into my mouth and started to brush my teeth. "Mmmmm... Oh.... Shhhh!", I heard someone whisper. I decided not to pay attention to it because it just might be my sisters trying to play a trick on me again. They always do! I filed the bathroom sink with lukewarm water and dipped a wet facial rag in the water. "Hmmmm, that.'s stange my sisters weren't awake by now." i will skip this part. I was on my way to school as my friend was calling to me. I suddenly stopped and glared at a shriveled up cornfield. I don't know why but I just did! Something wasn't right, it felt like I was being lured to it. I decided to put that cornfield out of my mind, and just forget about it. As I continued to walk with my friend to school, I heard voices in my head screaming,"Go,go,go! Go to the cornfield!" Then I shrieked," Get out of my head!" " Whoa, she asked, what's wrong?" "There are these little voices in my head screaming making me go crazy!", I answered. She sighed," I think that's your conscious telling you to go somewhere". "No, I answered, I feel like I shouldn't do it". "Well then I don't know what to do then," she sighed once again. We started to talk about a bunch of " girly stuff " and boys in school. It was about 7:58 when I got to school. As I was walking through the endless hallways I reached my locker. I heard footsteps from behind me and shadows crowding around. I saw one of the shadow raise a fist and tried to punch me. Luckily I dodged the blow as it ran against my face. Another figure made its fist move towards my back I was shocked when a man saved me by catching the person's arm and threw him against theground. The man shot the person an evil glare. The rest of the men backed up the ran away. "Are you okay, Miss?"asked a worried, male, british accented voice. "Are you okay?", he repeated. I thought,"Who is this man?" As anyone would do, I turned and glanced over my shoulder, it was a rather tall man, I thought he was 17! He had black silky hair and it glistened in the light. His eyes, like dark brown pools shining from the sun. His skin, as fresh as a daisy! His lips, a pale pink fading into a light shade of lilac. "Are you alright?" , he asked once again. "Y-Y-Yes...., I stuttered, I'm alright." I was embarrassed that a man had saved me, but wait, I thought of 2 things, 1st, I've never seen this man before....., 2nd, why should a man have to save a woman and a woman never saves a man, it was really bugging me... Well anyway
     
  11. Azrael

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    You are all mongrels who have not even a shred of decency left in your pitiful mortal lives. You should be groveling before me, your king, but yet you waste your repetitive days in a meager cycle of work and pitiful attempts at 'fun'. I shall erase you all from the world, for none of you are fit to feed the worms beneath the earth, much less rule over!
     
  12. gigantopithecus

    gigantopithecus
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  13. Milwin

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    2013 Faggot of the Year

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    HERE'S THE LEGENDARY STORY:


    There was once a rainy night.... then there was a gay orgy.
     
  14. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Anybody who wants to read some lulzy stories should go here.
     
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