I'm going to be posting copies of all the bullshit writing assignments I get over the year in this thread. Don't like it, don't fucking read it. I wouldn't blame you, anyway. Let's kick it off with the first assignment, a "literary portrait": A steaming load of horseshit, of course, but exactly what the teacher wanted. Enjoy a poem I was forced to write at gunpoint, using a pre-determined set of words: Enjoy it, fuckers.