REPORTING IN!!

Discussion in 'Noob Introduction Forum' started by Flu, Jul 23, 2011.

  1. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    [​IMG]
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    2O1NKs! 7ook W4Nd4, 7Eh 81R7hD4y G1RL, 8Y 7Eh H4nd 4nD LeD hER 1n7o 7eH OvER-S12Ed 8Ounce k4s7Le. 1ns1De, 2o1nkS! 21PPEd uP 7eH k4S7Le doOR pHl4P, 7hEN 21PPed doWn w4Nd4'S p4N7S. 2o1nks! W4S SO h4Rd, 8u7 h1S kOm1c4lLy OVer-s12eD cloWn p4n7s h1d 7EH erEC71oN WElL.

    "4ny8ODy eveR 7ElL u 48Ou7 SeX, 848e?" 2O1nks! pREsSed w4Nd4, 8re47h1N' H4RD On HER necK.

    "NO..." ShE s41d SHYly; "4Ll 7HEy s41d 7O ME, 1S, 17's sOmE7h1N' RE4L SPEc14L..."

    "OOOOhHHOOOOo!!!" ExcL41mEd 2O1nKs!. hE HoNKEd H1s 81g ReD CloWN No2e EXC17EdLy -- *honk4!! HONKkk!!* -- 7Hen 8eg4n J4ck1n' off.

    2O1NKs! PUsHEd W4nd4 DoWn. W17H 4 8ounCe, SHE PLopPed PhOrw4rd, 7Oo 4fR41D 7o movE. 2O1nKS! Re4cHEd 1N7O H1s P4N7 pocKE7 4Nd pulLeD OU7 4 lOng l1Me gREeN 84lloOn. W17H SOme S7rUggle, he pulLED 7eH LOng, M4KesH1f7 rU88er ovEr H1s c1rsPoogeSCr18eD, WH17E p41n7ed pENOR. (H1S EN71rE 8ody W4S koveRED 1N Clown m4keup.)

    "4WWw! dO'N7 8e-4-Sc4RED, W44444444Nd4!!" 2O1NKS! KO4xed 7EH pHr1gh7ENed 81R7HD4y G1Rl, wh1lE s7RUgGL1N' 7o ReMOvE heR WH17E ko77On P4n71Es.

    "lOOk!" 2o1NKS! oRdeRED. hE s7RE7chEd H1s 84lls4Ck oU7 7O 7eh s1DeS of H1S H4rd, 84LLOoN sHe47hed KOcK; "17'S 4n ELePh4n7!"

    He DescENded on 7eH G1rL.

    ou7S1dE, 7eh 8ouNCe K4s7le jErKeD V1olen7lY, 8oUnD1n' cr421ly, UP 4Nd DoWn, 4lmOS7 71PP1n' OVer.

    1nS1dE, 2O1nks! usED 7EH 8OunCY SURf4ce 7o 4dd MomEn7Um 7O H1S 7HrUs7S, 8y-p4221N' w4nd4's N47ur4Lly 71gh7, PR1S71nE cHR1s714n Pe4cH w17h 7Eh POWER OF 4 DoU8Le-8ouNCE.

    -- "8oy!" s41D oNe p4R7Y gOer, S74ND1N' 1n L1Ne PHoR 7Eh K4s7Le, 7o 4No7HeR rEveLeR 4F7eR h1M, "WHO'S EVEr 1n 7HERE, SuRE L1KES 8OUNc1N'!"

    7EH sOuNDs oF H4rd 1n7erCour2E werE MUFfLED 8Y 7eh SouND OF P4r7Y guES7s 74K1N' he4VY Wh4ckS @ 4 P1N474, 4nD 7EH MoCk1N' soNg Of MuS1c4l cH41RS - wH1cH KO1nc1Ded w17h 2O1nk's! uP-4nd-down sw17Ch1n' of HolEs.

    WhEn 17 w4S pH1n4lLY over, w4nD4 sO88ED, "17.. W4s... supposED... 7O 8E SPEc14l!!"

    "heRe," s41d 2o1Nk! KOldLy. hE PUlled 4 PolK4-Do77ED, "NeVeR-End1n'" H4ndKeRCh1EF pHRom H1S CHes7 PocKe7; "lEw7 7h1S up Ur KOO7ER So's u Do'n7 8LeEd nO MORE."
    2O1nkS! p4UseD, Look1n' 4w4y pHrom W4ND4 PhoR 4 moMeN7, 4dd1nG; "u're Uh... goNN4 NEEd 17..
    W4Nd4 SeEMED rEluc74N7. 8Ec4U2E shE d1D'n7 cHOo2E 'pH1GH7,' HEr O7Her 1nS71nc7, 'PHL1gH7' W4s 7Ell1N' heR 7O rUn. SeNS1n' 7H1s, 2O1nKs! 4Dded; "1f 7eh ReN74l S7orE sEeS 7H@ U rU1NED Ur WH17E PH41RY PR1ncESs DREsS, 7HeY'LL 8E SoOO m4d."

    W4nd4 so88Ed UnCoN7rOLL48lY 4s sHE 7r1Ed 7o Lew7 7EH Ph1RS7 pHOo7 Of 7eH 33 PhoO7 LOnG h4nDkErcH1ef UP heR R4V4GEd G4SH. 4 POOL Of 8lOoD PH1lLED 7Eh REcESsEs OF 7EH 8ouNCe k4s7lE 8ENE47h heR kNeeS.

    mE4nWh1le, 2O1NK! h4d KU7 7hrOuGh 7eH ru88ER ShEE71n' oF 7eH 8oUNcE k4S7le W17h 4 koNCe4led HUN71n' Kn1FE 4ND 8OL7ed, Le4P1n' ovER 7eH 84cky4RD PHENCe, 74k1n' OFf, RUNn1N' dOwn 7Eh S7rEE7.

    *HonK4!! hOnkkK!! HoNK! hONk!!!*

    7eH end
    [​IMG]
     
  2. beefrave

    beefrave
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    Intergalactic Internets Services LLC

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    WUT ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
     
  3. Beefcake

    Beefcake
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    Best-selling author

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    Flu? What brings you to these parts?
     
  4. SuperSpecialSuperStar

    SuperSpecialSuperStar
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    2011 Faggot of the Year

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    quality thread, expecting great content from this user
     
  5. megablox1

    megablox1
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    Ediot

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    :)))
    can someone take the time to translate this shit plz:D
     
  6. DrL337

    DrL337
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    Dramacrat

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    Pretty sure every "first post" is turned into l33t

    or somebody is bored.
     
  7. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Is this your professional opinion, doctor?
     
  8. Flu

    Flu
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    self loathing and a guaranteed place to find people worse than i am to make myself feel better.
    also, vain hopes of finally seeing coolfag's tits. but obviously she's being pretty and trendy with ohinternet. "that's where the boys are!!"
     
  9. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Are you motherfucking, cocksucking, cumchugging me? CoolFag's a fucking turncoat!?
     
  10. Garrett

    Garrett
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    DMCA Dumpster

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    She's around, once in a while. SHE WAS ON EDF BEFORE IT WAS COOL OK
     
  11. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    New England hipsters were hipsters before it became cool.
     
  12. molb*

    molb*
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    Where the fuck have you been?
     
  13. Doakes

    Doakes
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    I am now the second-best user on this shitty forum.
     
  14. Missingno

    Missingno
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    Dramacrat

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  15. Edgeworth

    Edgeworth
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    Systems Administrator

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    You should update your sig.
     
  16. Patroclus Rex

    Patroclus Rex
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    AW YEAH EVERYONE'S GETTING FLU FEVER
     
  17. DocEvil

    DocEvil
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    EDF Hero

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  18. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    I am still better than Doakes.

    FLU I LOVE YOU! HAVE MY CHILDREN!
     
  19. SPQR

    SPQR
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    8===D

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    This anything like bieber fever
     
  20. Patroclus Rex

    Patroclus Rex
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    EDF Hero

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  21. TheBrickBalls

    TheBrickBalls
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  22. Flu

    Flu
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    Hi everyone from before.
    The original post was about a drunk clown raping a birthday girl in the bounce castle. But, like a colossus grasping at its lovers hand, my own 1337 skills have crushed to death my first post. However, like diamonds, the post was only made better because the story was really terrible, and half of edf2 can't even read, or be bothered to.

    Hi RICE and DOAKES, my two favourite gentlemen. Hello. Doakes, I see you like my Doakes mask. Wait 'till you see what other doakes-flavoured garments I've got. And Rice - nothing: you're perfect, babe.
     
  23. TheBrickBalls

    TheBrickBalls
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    Girlvinyl

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    Yoo like that pic I have of me above hoe-mie??? My kawk is pretty scrumptious I might add. Just keep suckin on it until you get a salty yet savory taste in your mouth.
     
  24. zaiger

    zaiger
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    2017 Faggot Of The Year

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    I am I New England hipster, does that mean I win?
     
  25. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Being a hipster means you never win. At anything. Ever.
     
  26. MrGask

    MrGask
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    #FreeGask

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