RAPTURE AVERTED ONCE AGAIN! OOOOHHH YEEAAA!!!

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by Flu, Oct 24, 2011.

  1. Flu

    Flu
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    In yet another "stunning" loss for promoter Harold Camping, an old fag who is never right, the re-Rapture Rematch, meant to undo the defeat of his previous May 21 2011 Rapture Match, was again thwarted by the savior of mankind, the Macho Man Randy Savage!
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    After Jesus' first round fall in last May's highly publicized bout, JC's father, long-time manager and ex-Wrestler of the B.C Federation, "the Almighty" G.O.D, challenged the Macho Man to a rematch: this time a one-on-one, no holds-barred, no time limit, Golden Gated Cage Match against his son, set 10 days before Halloween, and only 9 days before Devil's Night.

    Once again, the savior of earth, Macho Man Randy Savage, delivered a world saving blow to the persistent face-turned-heel, Jesus "Almighty" Christ, and then to JC's manager, "the Almighty" G.O.D, who broke his own laws by entering the ring behind the 'Man, cheaply wielding a chair, to boo's from the audience during the exclusive, had-to-be-there, Golden Gate Cage Match of the century!!

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    AS IF ONCE WASN'T ENOUGH, Randy Savage again proved that he was just too Macho for heaven to stop!

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    As an angelic choir blasted his signature entrance music, 'Pomp and Circumstance,' the Spider climbed the top rope of the Gate, hoisting above his head, to thunderous adulation, his hard fought Trans Inter-Dimensional Title Belt, which for a long moment outshone even the celestial Light of God!

    Mankind's fate was again slated: Once more, to snap into our slim jims and shout thanks to our Savage savior!

    OOOOOHH YEEAAA!!!

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  2. jack

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    The battle for all our souls has begun.
     
  3. Fumo161

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    Oh CW is gonna love this.
     
  4. m450n_yuno

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    I'm already liking this thread.
     
  5. Flu

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    according to some image i just saw, what camping *MEANT* to say was oct 21 2012... everybody is silly if you thought he was referring to oct 21 2011
     
  6. m450n_yuno

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    This is like a Microsoft Update that just keeps on getting delayed.
     
  7. Flu

    Flu
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    the real heroes of all this are the faggots with kids who sold literally everything to ride around in one of Camping's shit buses and preach the word of God.
    And among them, their champion is the guy and wife who got told off by their 7 yo daughter, who was "worried what will happen if [the rapture doesn't happen] and they have no house or furniture, or money."
    I'm sure, however, they will be rewarded in heaven... as that's where they will be in another month when early winter sets in and they have literally nothing left to keep them from freezing to death -- Friends and family who respect them, included.
     
  8. TheForRealDeal

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    Whenever this shit happens in TV and movies the leader goes insane and has to be killed in order to stop them from trying to MAKE the apocalypse happen
    Still waiting
     
  9. Flu

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    No. It's perfectly in line with dogma -

    "no man knows the day or hour"
    - Jesus
     
  10. ExplosiveDiareah

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    Girlvinyl

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    Eh, what was i supposed to do on the Rapturous day? just keep doing what i normally do, what i have been doing for 20 years.
    Eat n sleep has never changed.
     
  11. KelpBurn

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    It's people like Camping and his followers that give religion a bad name. Granted, enough of the shit we do does warrant some mockery, but he's on the same tier as Gay-Parade Participants and Apple Fanboys.

    And yet the thing still breathes.
     
  12. Atomic_Joe

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    I find this particularly hilarious. A decaying old man has amassed a great following of fucking IDIOTS to give him their monies and prepare for a boat ride through the Rapture.

    Having survived the Rapture TWICE now, I feel like we all deserve a special treat.
     
  13. eraserhead

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    This guy said the rapture was going to happen in 1994 too but it didn't because of a minor miscalculation.
    THEN, once again in May but this time it was because the world was under spiritual rapture and judgement.
    Now he's just dun goofed. I can't believe those retards that mortgaged their houses and took out loans for this idiot. Enough money for FIVE THOUSAND billboards and TWENTY FUCKING RVs
     
  14. Atomic_Joe

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    I wonder how cool those guys feel that mortgaged their houses and sold all their shit feel. I would like to know WHY they'd do that, though... it's not like you can take money into the afterlife.
     
  15. HyperHominid

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    In b4 CW94's wild rant.
     
  16. Heskett

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    Boyvinyl

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    Why would CW94 get riled up? He's not going to take this seriously, if that's what you're hoping for.
     
  17. Ahseyo

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    God is a camper.

    LOL
     
  18. Seku

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    It was an invisible Rapture.
     
  19. ChristianWarrior94

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    Emissary of Christ

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    Exactly.
     
  20. scumhook

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    We'll just call this one "Rapture 4S".
     
  21. Dr. Rice

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    Not even the angels in heaven know the exact hour. Only the father does.