"RAGHEADS & PENISES" - HITMAN 2

Discussion in 'Video Games & Weeaboo Shit' started by JEWG0LDS, Jun 23, 2012.

  1. JEWG0LDS

    JEWG0LDS
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    Dramacrat

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    A long time ago there was a bald clone named Mr 47 or some shit. He had a ghey barcode tattoo on the back of his head & a weapon filled toolshed that would give the likes of Thomas Hamilton, Anders Breivik & Charles Whitman a raging hard on. He had a special friend who was a priest & also a starring role in several popular videogames (not to mention a shitty fucking film but lets not mention that here) 47 was a pretty badass guy & a well rounded videogame character who has been in several decent games but it is the second game "Hitman 2 Silent Assassin" that I wish to discuss here.
    Long story short I bought this game on Xbox, several weeks after release date & began a playthrough. I enjoyed the game for its violence & strategic use of stealth & disguise but also found it a little unforgiving with trial & error gameplay. I did also hear someone in the game refer to a collection fine Indian genltemen as RAGHEADS- I have a great admiration for this games script.
    About this time a recieved a call from a friend who promptly informed me:

    "There are penises in Hitman 2"!:dong:

    Thinking my friend to be merely jesting or just fucking with my head, I dismissed the notion as balderdash but, I admit. curiosity got the better of me & I loaded up Hitman 2 on my chunky old Xbox console.
    Equipped with a scoped sniper rifle I headed out to the "villa level" to see if my friends assertions were correct. Soon, I spotted a filthy guido-wop walking towards a secluded wall. My positioning afforded me an excellent view of said wop and I watched as he stopped & began to unzip his flies and, to my utter surprise/disgust/amusement, flopped out his cock & began to piss! jitman.

    Needless to say, I took great offence at a dirty greasy spagetti-chugging wop guido exposing himself unto my rightious eyes (which had not yet witnessed such future horrors as GOATSE, tubgirl, Dorian Thorne's ass, Guro, furry shit ect resulting an a kind of "100 yard stare" effect that affects me today! Do you know I once some "art" depicting Daffy Duck fisting Meeko the racoon who was, at the same time eating shit out of Sonic the Hedgehogs arsehole?!? I mean what kind of sick motherfucking waste of organs would put the thought, time & energy into shit like that....................) :mad:
    But, forgive me, I digress.
    Anyway I shot the greasy wop guido straight into the hogs-eye of his digitised cock! :dong:
    BLAM
    Unfortunately (this in was 2002 after all) there was no wound-sensitive context animation (al la Red Dead Redemption) so the guy did not grab his shredded penis & collapse to his knees in agony but rather "ragdolled" away in an rather amusing manner (those familiar with Hitman 2's physics know what i mean here;))
    Still, I remember it was a very satisfying moment & one that has stuck with me. In my opinion Eidos should be praised for its remarkable attention to detail in crafting Hitman 2. I can honestly think of no other game where you can shoot a digital polygon greaseball guinnie-wop in his fully 3d realised animated cock.

    TL;DR - There is penises in Hitman 2"

    Oh and before the inevitable "GAY HOMO" ect comments start to flood in, Im NOT talking in a gay context about faggotry & gay shit here, no sir! Im talking about VIOLENCE!- The oportunity to maim and kill in more inventive, creative & sadistic ways in the wonderful escapist medium of videogaming! Modern games need to take note what Hitman 2 poineered a decade ago. With the advance in technologies and graphical engines imagine the wonderfully macabre scenarios we could encounter & be enjoying. I mean, who here can HONESTLY say they would not enjoy a game that features the option of shooting some guys dick clean off his body while he was obliviously taking a slash? (Especially if he was a wog of some kind)

    I for one would find that a very welcome addition to modern gaming but then again, I do acknowledge I am somewhat of a sick fuck at heart- (as is 99.999% of EDF so im in good company!) What about you?

    Opinions?
     
  2. Weezus Christ

    Weezus Christ
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  3. JEWG0LDS

    JEWG0LDS
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    Dramacrat

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    You are first in with that- Kudos! Give youself a medal & a pat on the back. You deserve it.
     
  4. Weezus Christ

    Weezus Christ
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    EDF Savior

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    first and only,

    nobody cares about your gay dick thread.

    i was only posting because someone had to.
     
  5. JEWG0LDS

    JEWG0LDS
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    Dramacrat

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    How very kind of you. Im touched you would take the time to read & comment this lowly newfags post. Regardless of opinion, the fact remains that there are dicks on Hitman 2 (and many more on EDF):dong:
     
  6. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    blood money is the best hitman game

    also, video game cocks are amusing
     
  7. JEWG0LDS

    JEWG0LDS
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    Dramacrat

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    Thankyou minty, I wholeheartedly agree :)

    I especially liked the bit in "Blood Money" with the wintess protection hit. If I remember righly inside the targets house you could sneak into the teenage daughters bedroom where you could put choloroform on her knickers. Then one the FBI guards comes in, takes them out of the underware draw, has a good sniff & ZONK! - one less guard to worry about. Pushing the drunk wife into the bbq on that level was also lulz!

    Poisoning the Hell's Angel Biker's tattoo ink in "contracts" was good too.
     
  8. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    actually, my favorite level was the opera house level. where you sneak out the fake gun for the real one and the guy shoots him for you.
     
  9. JEWG0LDS

    JEWG0LDS
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    Dramacrat

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    Yeah that was also a really good one! Took me a few attempts to get that level down. Actually, that reminds me of another death - dunno if you've watched it but a very similar manner of execution happened in the classic prison drama"Oz" but with a fake/real knife swap instead of a gun & a prison theatre production of Hamlet instead of an grandiose opera house setting. I fucking loved "Oz"
     
  10. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    never really watched oz
    i barely watch tv
    i usually just stick with a show or two i find really good and say fuckall to the rest
     
  11. JEWG0LDS

    JEWG0LDS
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    Dramacrat

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    Truth be told there is very little I watch these days too, although I did enjoy "Game of Thrones" & "The Walking Dead" I tend to spend what free time I get doing other unproductive things (like being a sneaky Dunmer Jew on Skyrim:jew:)