Pruning the Friends List

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Flu, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. Flu

    Flu
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    Like many of you, I have a Facebook and it's flooded with people I half know, hardly know, and don't care to know. Very few people on it are actually friends. So, also like most people, I've decided to prune my friends list down to an acceptable number - ideally, zero. But instead of simply removing the unwanted scum from my list and getting on with it, I've decided to spam my message wall with a series of posts I've aptly named Alienating Friends on Facebook.

    [​IMG]

    I've only posted four, so far today, to date. Here they are:

    • Alienating Friends on Facebook Post #4: Does anybody really trust the blacks? (I mean, REALLY?)
    • Alienating Friends on Facebook Post #3: I'm cheating on my GF with a 14 yo girl; and I'm cheating on her with an 11 yo.
    • Alienating Friends on Facebook Post #2: Saw an Asian guy about 7 hours ago on the bus... didn't like the 'look' of him...
    • Alienating Friends on Facebook Post #1: Just beat up a girl, and it was pretty easy. I told her she looked too fat. When she gave me lip, I gave her a fat one.
    As I write this, it is 4:15 am, so most people are fast asleep being faggots probably getting rest and not having withdrawal shits every 4 minutes. I hope by the morning time (their morning time, 9 am; not our morning time, 2:30 pm) I will have lost at least eight "friends."

    I'll keep you all posted for as long as this all seems fun to me.
     
  2. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    I was faced with a similar problem about a year back.
    I concluded it would be easier to delete my facebook.
     
  3. Lucky

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    This makes me want to add you as a friend.
     
  4. Weezus Christ

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    everything i write on facebook is designed to piss people off.

    trevor fitzroy if i dont have you added. i dont know who anyone is from here on facebook except a couple people.
     
  5. swishy

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    Dramacrat

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    I deleted 50 people last week. I may delete more, some of my mom's friends are my friends and they annoy me.
     
  6. Ronny

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    Girlvinyl

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  7. Dr. Rice

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    Girlvinyl

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    Why are we not friends on facebook flu?
     
  8. Flu

    Flu
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    So far the results have been not what I expected: namely, those folks on my list who chose to respond, responded very favourably to the notion of punching women and having 14 / 11 yo girlfriends.

    I haven't lost anybody yet, so obviously I'll need to step up the rhetoric...

    Anybody have any suggestions for taboo or otherwise offensive... social commentary... that I could update my facebook status with? All that comes to mind is the taste of urine / pee drinking, but that's so 1999.
     
  9. jack

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    just say you got done fucking a nine year old and you should be done.
     
  10. Weezus Christ

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    EDF Savior

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    you have to hit the enemy where it hurts.

    read their facebook status updates and then repost them in a way that will throw them into an introspective nightmare.
     
  11. Flu

    Flu
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    [​IMG]
     
  12. Weezus Christ

    Weezus Christ
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  13. TheDude2894

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    Start photoshopping yourself naked into peoples' family photos.
     
  14. Bottom Feeder

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    Girlvinyl

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    s2ylL.


    [​IMG]

    PXsPn.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  15. scumhook

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    Perhaps you should consider the possibility that the sort of people who'll be your friends are also the sort of people who are unlikely to be offended by this type of material.

    How about posting "I'm going to vote for Newt" or "Yaaaay, the NAACP just cashed my donation cheque" and see how that goes.
     
  16. Solution

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    Everyone is boring

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    Ponies then Hitler then Ron Paul then Obama, in that order should do the trick
     
  17. Dr. Rice

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    Girlvinyl

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    I want to rub it in your fags faces that me and flu are now fb friends, you know, the kind of friendship that is eternal.
     
  18. Tai Le Ree

    Tai Le Ree
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    Post shotacon, duh.
     
  19. Ronny

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    Girlvinyl

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    aggressive cp is the way
     
  20. Atomic_Joe

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    Joevahkiin

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    I'm with Weezus, about 90% of my facebook posts are designed to stir the shit pot.
     
  21. Lucky

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    Discuss how rape is sometimes justified.
     
  22. CallMeMaggot

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    Girlvinyl

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    Beware, u can end with a lot more friends, lol

    One trick that can be pretty annoying if well done is start playing the unbearibly smart amateur psychologist.
    Start given uncalled advice about personal issues of your friends, in an aloof, supposedly deep way.
    Key point is pouring petulant generosity while doing so, like they must be really grateful to you.

    No, please, don't give me thanks, I always strive for helping people with problems, that's how I roll...;)
     
  23. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    Rant about your political views
     
  24. Dr. Rice

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    Girlvinyl

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    I don't know why this didn't seem obvious. People are either going to like them and want to remain your friends or delete you. The people who delete you are faggots so fuck them in their cuntbutts
     
  25. Bottom Feeder

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    Girlvinyl

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    Good advice, nothing gets more annoying than cheap, unwanted armchair psycology, with a condescending air and faint smugness. They will hate you forever.
     
  26. Flu

    Flu
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    I'd like to go on record and say that my girlfriend discovered a reading that our very own Moscow did of my story, Chowder House - about Zaiger and pals drowning, drinking, and defiling a boy.
    Moscow did an above awesome job reading the story, and the link to it is proudly displayed on my Facebook page where all my friends can see and hear it. THANKS, MOSCOW!
     
  27. Baya Rae 4900

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    Lawlman

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    You're Canadian, yeah? Suggest that Canada is inferior to America. Point out how Canadians are hypocrites. Point out that Canada wouldn't be able to function at all if all of America's racial/religious minorities were transferred into Canada.

    So not only did Flu not lose any e-friends but he also gained an e-friend. Wow, Flu, you really suck at failing.
     
  28. TheBrickBalls

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    Girlvinyl

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    The forums plan to do more audio recordings of your stories, flu.
     
  29. Atomic_Joe

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    It's seriously the worst they'll ever to do you.

    Bunch of nancies.
     
  30. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    Shut the fuck up you jealous fuckcunt