So, about two weeks ago, I had a few too many drinks. They were fucking terrible, too. Bunch of "old-fashioneds" that were so sour they made my pubes curl. The next day, I didn't properly hydrate, so when I took a shit, it literally made my asshole bleed. Now there is a lump next to it. Not sure when it showed up, as I don't normally play around with my shitter, but I felt it when I was in the shower last night. I'm pretty sure it's a HEMORRHOID, or an anal fissure, from raping my butt with a heinous shit. I tried to read up on it, saw the words "surgery" and "rubber band" etc, and stopped reading. Should I cut it off? Or go to the doctor? Am I going to have an anal prolapse and die? Will I ever find out @Funky man 's true identity? Tune in next week for another episode of Sugar Bombs' Fucked Up Life Stories.