most offensive jokes thread

Discussion in 'Trolls & Lulz' started by Moscow, May 24, 2012.

  1. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    Give me what you got my fellow EDiots, post the most offensive jokes you know of here.
     
  2. Scorch

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    Two Jews walk into a bar.

    The end.

    If that's not offensive, I don't know what is.
     
  3. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    :picard:
     
  4. Regi

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    zaiger is a jew
     
  5. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    that's not offensive, that's common knowledge.
     
  6. Regi

    Regi
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    zaiger is not jewish,he is paki
     
  7. ge5undhe17

    ge5undhe17
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    Girlvinyl

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    PS3 HAS GAMES. REALLY FUN GAMES.
     
  8. Regi

    Regi
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    that's not offended at all chinky
     
  9. ge5undhe17

    ge5undhe17
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    Girlvinyl

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    that's not offensive too, Santa.
     
  10. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
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    Girlvinyl

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    A famous rabbi died recently.
    He died in the shower, choking to death.

    My great grandaddy died in a concentration camp.
    ....He fell from the guard tower.

    What's the difference between an Albino Nigger and a white Onion?
    Nobody cries when the Albino nog gets chopped up.

    Why are brown people brown?
    because they were shat out.

    It is always acceptable to kill an endangered species if you get it on camera to show to a conservation group.

    I increased my carbon foot print by 100% i fuckin love coal.
     
  11. Regi

    Regi
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    allright weirdo i dont know whether you have dementia or mentally retarded or you are an alien in human form?! just let me introduce you ps3 is stands for Play-Station-Three and it has been created for GAMING ,welcome to our planet and please send my regards to ewoks
     
  12. Helix

    Helix
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    What's the difference between a nigger and a tire?
    Tire doesn't sing when you put it in chains.

    What about boy scouts and Jews?
    boy scouts come back from their camps.
     
  13. CallMeMaggot

    CallMeMaggot
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    Girlvinyl

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    I hope that was a sample of a really strange kind of dry humor

    Anyways...

    Q: How is getting your girlfriend pregnant like locking your keys out of your car?
    A: The problem is easily solved with a coathanger.

    Q: Whats the worst thing about a gang raep?
    A: Being last.

    Q: What’s the hardest part of a cabbage to eat?
    A: The wheelchair


    Q: How do we know what shampoo princess diana used?
    A: Because her head and shoulders was found all over the dash board.
    Q: What do you call a black woman who has had 9 abortions?
    A: A Crime fighter


    A man enters a pharmacy and asks for birth control pills for his wife and his seven year-old daughter. The pharmacist is a little shocked and says, “Is your seven year-old daughter sexually active?!”
    “No,” replies the man. “She just sort of lays there.”
     
  14. Lord Raptor

    Lord Raptor
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    Truthillusion memories
     
  15. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    Fucking mint!
     
  16. Regi

    Regi
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    if you look at all my posts you'll understand what I mean
     
  17. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
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    Whatever happened to Oddguys foreskin?
    it got sold to cosmetics and made into a facial cream, the very same cream that Oprah the greedy negress puts on her face.



    Why did Operah retire?
    To take a big shit?
    Why did it cause her to retire?
    Because people were tired of a show hosted by someone full of shit.

    Doctor is doing a gynacological exam on this woman who is talking about her concerns of being pregnant and how she thought she had taken all the necessary precautions.
    The doctor starts examining her asshole, opening it up with a speculum and shining a light into it, he asks her
    "do you have anal sex?" she replies that she does "Do you use protection?"
    "Why would i need protection?" she asks.
    "Because" said the Doctor "Haven't you heard? THAT is where Niggers come from...."
     
  18. Harpoons

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    What's the difference between having a wank and raping a toddler?
    I feel guilty after having a wank.

    Also @Moscow

    Life is like a box of chocolates -
    shit if you have diabetes.
     
  19. CallMeMaggot

    CallMeMaggot
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    Girlvinyl

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    I dunno, she likes black humor and horror flicks, which is a big plus...but hasn't posted her pic yet

    :awesome:

    Pedo edition:

    Q: What's black and blue and hates sex?
    A: The ten year old in the boot of my car.

    Q:What's the difference between acne and a paedophile?
    A: Acne doesn't come on your face until you're twelve.

    It's so awkward when you send a private text message to the wrong person.
    The other day I wrote a message, "Hey babe, thinking of U makes my cock hard, can't wait to sex U up 2night" and sent it to my 10-year-old daughter.....
    ....Imagine how embarrassing it would have been if I'd sent that to the wrong person.

    Q: What's the best thing about having sex with a ten year old girl?
    A: Turning her over and pretending she's a ten year old boy.

    A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a little girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.
    His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"
    And the guy says "Oh, no: I never found her head."

    So a guy is driving along a deserted winding mountain road. He comes across a break in the guardrail and can see smoke rising from below the road. Being the good citizen he is, he stops on the side of the road and rushes down to see what happened.
    He finds a badly mangled car and sees a man in the drivers seat, a woman in the passenger's seat and a little boy with a small puppy in his lap in the rear seat, all dead. Horrified, he starts walking back to his car to call the police. But he suddenly hears a whimper from under a bush. He rushes over to the bush and finds an 8 year old blond haired, blue eyed girl. He knees down to the sobbing girl and says,
    "Little girl, is that your car that crashed?"
    "Yes"
    "And are those your parents dead in the front seats?"
    "Yes"
    "And is that your brother dead in the back seat?"
    "Yes"
    "And is that your puppy dead on your brother's lap?"
    "Yes"
    The man considers these answers, stands up, looks around, unzips his pants and says, "Well little girl, today is just not your lucky day"

    A serial killer kidnaps a little girl and brings her into some deep, dark woods. The little girl says "Gee, it's dark and creepy here, I'm scared". The killer replies "You're scared? Imagine how I feel, I gotta walk back to the car alone."
     
  20. Regi

    Regi
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    ''Buttfuck'' it hurt!
     
  21. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    made me lol like a retard. +9000 internets for you.
     
  22. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    So I was hanging out with my girlfriend the other day and we had some good sex, not the best, but it went on for about two hours. After we were finished we laid in bed staring at the ceiling for a while. She is silent for a long time until she rolls to face me and says to me:

    "Does this make you a pedophile?"

    I got angry at her accusation and fired back at her:


    "Woah woah woah! That is an awfully big word for an 8-year old!"

    What is the difference between a grandmother and a baby?
    The baby doesn't die when it gets fucked in the ass.

    Jesus and Moses were hanging out on a fishing boat, getting shitfaced and not really catching any fish. Moses caught more fish which made Jesus jealous and when he caught his fish, he turned it into twenty. They lold and started telling one another stories.

    Jesus:"Hey moses, can you still do that thing you do with the water?"
    Moses: "Hells yeah!" Moses raises his hands up and the water begins to part slowly and the boat drops all the way down to the bottom of the lake bed, they both get out and walk around for a few minutes before they get back into the boat and the water slowly fills the gap in and the boat rises to the top of the lake.

    Jesus: "That was fucking awesome moses!"
    Moses: "so can you still do that thing with the walking on water?"
    Jesus: "Hells yeah!" he said with a nervous smile. Jesus stands up and puts one foot onto the water's surface and starts to take steps. Three steps out, Jesus starts to sink. Moses see this and rescues Jesus.


    Moses: "Oh my YHWH! What happened Jesus?"
    Jesus: "I haven't been the same since I got those two holes in my feet."
     
  23. ge5undhe17

    ge5undhe17
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    EA IS BEST GAME COMPANY IN WORLD

    damn, that's a pretty funny joke. I never knew you can actually do GAMING with a toilet
     
  24. Patroclus Rex

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    Alternative that doesn't suck:
    How long does it take a brown woman to take a dump?
    9 months.

    Also:
    What's the worst thing about the Holocaust?
    It didn't happen.

    Why did so many Jews go to Auschwitz?
    Entrance was free.

    I had a heated row with my wife earlier. It escalated to the point that I hit her. Luckily, we had fantastic sex afterwards. Dinner's gonna be late though, she's still unconscious.

    I saw a nigger on a bike earlier, and thought "Hey, that's mine!". Then I remembered mine was at home, shining my shoes.
     
  25. lulzbomb

    lulzbomb
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    I love you OP <3
     
  26. ExplosiveDiareah

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    Guy at work is explaining his black eye to his friend.
    "So what happened?"

    "well" he said
    'I was having a great fuck with this chick last night on the dining room table, then we heard some noise out front, she said "Quick! the backdoor! go!" i should have legged it, But an offer like that doesn't come along every day!'

    Do you hate women but are too afraid to be gay?
    Well never fear! just fuck them up the ass without lube, feels the same.


    the Obama christmas decoration.
    Just what everybody wants this year, Obama hanging in a tree.
    Now if only it would happen for real..

    What happened when Mike Tyson looked up his family tree?
    A gorilla shit in his face.

    Why do bedrooms in Africa have velcro on the ceilings?
    To keep the little shits from jumping on the bed.

    A man whose wife is in a Coma is advised by the Doctor and a nurse that when receiving a spongebath his wife seemed to respond when her privates were washed, they recommended oral sex might be what finally brings her out of the Coma, so they stand outside to give them some privacy, 2 minutes later the sound of a flatlining monitor can be heard, he comes running out of the door with his pants still down screaming "IT DIDN'T WORK! IT DIDN'T WORK!!!!"
     
  27. TittyTouchingTiger

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    How was copper wire invented?
    2 jews were fighting over a penny

    Have you seen the new jewish sports car?
    It stops on a dime and picks it up

    Have you ever seen a nigger on the Jetsons?
    The future looks good, doesn't it?

    Why are niggers so good at basketball?
    Because it's the only game where you can run, shoot, and steal.

    What is black, intelligent, and contributes to society?
    Nothing

    How do you starve a nigger?
    You hide his food stamps under his work boots.
     
  28. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    Studies show that 9 out of ten people enjoy gang-rape.
     
  29. Dynamic Entry

    Dynamic Entry
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    how many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

    none, they just beat the room for being black.
     
  30. nick

    nick
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    Dramacrat

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    How do you know you're at a gay barbecue?
    All the hot dogs taste like shit.