Lawyers!

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Beefcake, Aug 10, 2011.

  1. Beefcake

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    Hello friends,

    As you probably all know, Encyclopedia Dramatica tends to attract the occasional legal threat. We would like to have some fun with this. I'd like some of you lawyers to help us write responses to these threats in a rather humorous e-lawyer way, which we could then post somewhere for everyone to read.
     
  2. SuperSpecialSuperStar

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  3. zaiger

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    There is one guy, lulzyer, that I am sure would help. He seems like a good dude, just send him a PM.

    The legal threats we get are the best. People are so dumb, we have a Scottish guy who is trying to use American laws against a Swiss site. Like, America does not own the Internet nor do their laws. Even if they did, you were the one who posted those pictures of you sticking the proverbial marker up your ass on the Internet, not us. We didn't break into your computer or anything. That is fair game.
     
  4. Zaichata

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    I'm in law school right now. What kind of legal threats we get here, I deeply wonder?
     
  5. zaiger

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    "IF YOU GUYS DON'T TAKE DOWN SO AND SO PAGE RIGHT NOW ILL SUE YOU. MY BROTHER'S COUSIN'S FRIEND'S UNCLE'S CO-WORKER KNEW A LAWYER ONCE." sums up 99% of them
     
  6. Zaichata

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    Based on what legal ground?
     
  7. Helix

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    being a meanie :(
     
  8. zaiger

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    This. They don't have any. They would get MUCH further if they would just ask nicely. Honestly I have never denied someone coming to me and explaining the situation in a calm and polite manner asking if I could remove some possibly defamatory content.

    I will NEVER waste my time helping someone who is rude to me. I didn't write your article, so I am not inclined to help you if you are a jerk.
     
  9. Ahseyo

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    post some of these threats up for lulz please.
     
  10. Zaichata

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    No legal grounds mean no threat.. I'm not even going to bother going through mails that don't cite laws.

    Also, finding the right person to accuse of defamatory content is going to be a pain in the ass for anyone who wants to do so, as this is an open encyclopedia which means that content can be edited by anyone, from everywhere. You'd have multiple guilty people per article and accusing them all with the rules of the land they live in... lolz.
     
  11. lulzyer

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    I'm barred in PA and AZ. Please post the letter on here for me to see it. I can write a response, with collaboration from the 1Ls here.
     
  12. lulzyer

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    FORUM NON CONVENES, MUCH?
     
  13. zaiger

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    Thanks. Watch this thread, I'll post it the next time we get a good one.
     
  14. Zaichata

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    Going to my second year now in september ;-) passed the entire year apart from economics and linear algebra... sigh.
     
  15. lulzyer

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    Oh you can PM me and you can email me a copy, if you really do need a legit legal response. If it's from outside of the country, ignore it. Demand letters for the most part are horse shit - they are designed to intimidate the uninitiated with stupidly pointless legalese. My clients get them all the time, and I tell them to throw them in the garbage. Unless there is some sort of citing, either USC or local statute (in my case, AZRS or PCC), it means fuck all. Even in the case where some E Lawyer does a search for "DEFAMATION", it's often cited incorrectly.
     
  16. SuperSpecialSuperStar

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    Will you teach me how to sue everything in sight?
     
  17. lulzyer

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    My advice is this: ALWAYS allege the damage to you, how you were damaged, and why you are entitled to compensation. A lot of cases get thrown out of Federal and State court for a simple reason - "Failure to state a claim upon which relief can be granted". FRCP 12b6. It's surprising how easy it is to get thrown out of court (without prejudice). Lets say you get in a car wreck and there's a fucking VIDEO of a guy smashing into your car, totally his fault, and you sue. Well, if you write a pleading like shit, such as "Steve from PA hit me with his car and i can prove it!" Isnt enough to do anything, you have to explain WHY you are entitled to damages. "Pursuant to rule 36 (joinder) under the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, Steve, being a Resident of PA, and SuperSpecialStar, being a resident of (wherever), allege that.....) etc.

    Lawyers aren't needed to argue; they are needed to write the fucking paperwork and understand the procedures that are involved. I'd say 60% of my time is arguing fucking procedure rather than arguing the merits of the case.

    Negligence cases on the other hand are pretty simple. Duty, Breach of Duty, Causation, Damages. This is why stupid people get big settlements.
     
  18. CallMeMaggot

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    The handsome brother of David says:

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Beefcake

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    Do not start fagging up this thread.