Kinda worried, help me translate from female

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Fukken_OldGay, Dec 4, 2018.

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  1. Fukken_OldGay

    Fukken_OldGay
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    Ediot

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    So the text reads;
    "No need to worry, there is no baby comming out of my body that is yours"

    CONTEXT;
    She is an ex who've ive reconnected with. She has a boyfriend, two kids and they're fixing up a house they bought together.
    I'm just me..
    So a few weeks ago she talked about having to buy a morning after pill.
    The day after we hooked up and i gave her 4 condom options, she chose none. We joked around about kids and she said aprox "plz pretend to be worried" I didnt.
    And we've corresponded pretty chipper from here to there. I dont text her, i just respond because she's buzy with family most of the time. I responded to said text with some reddit tier meme about "semen like bad news".

    I got the text at 4am, so i asked if she was at work (assistant nurse, night shift) and she just said "no" (12am). Which is probably the first one word answer i've gotten from her since forever, so i knew something was up. So i re-read the original, and now i see its vague as hell.

    I know her BF is the most fucked her, metaphorically atleast, but is she saying she is pregnant with my kid and it will never be mine?! Thats the most extreme i can extrapolate from it atleast.
     
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  2. Likeicare

    Likeicare
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    EDF is my hugbox

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    Judging by your posts your testosterone levels are too low to actually produce sperm so you are safe bro
     
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  3. Fukken_OldGay

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    Ediot

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    I dont mind the baby, its obvious she ment it'd be a cookoo anyway. But why'd she send it to me? Seems malicious..
     
  4. Rodion

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    Lmao if she did baby rape you that's what you get for sticking your dick in crazy.
     
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  5. Sleepy420

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    Swagtagged

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    I can't tell if you're trying to humble brag about getting some poon, or if you're truly naive enough to think that the incel virgins on here could give you any semblance of relationship advice
     
  6. Lazarus+

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    Verbal Laudanum

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    dude
    if you're reverse bragging by talking about getting your nuts metaphorically cut off by your cuckolding ex
    double judos bruva beta
     
  7. Grigori Zagan

    Grigori Zagan
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    It's a coat hanger baby. I feel sorry for you OP, you could not even get your ex whore produce you a child.
     
  8. Fukken_OldGay

    Fukken_OldGay
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    Ediot

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    She said that it ment she was on her period...
    That shit was more roundabout than a Dan Brown book. It was hostile enough to be true, but its just such an odd thing to send knowing i'm asleep. I really dont get it.
     
  9. Rodion

    Rodion
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    Was there blood on your dick or not?
     
  10. Groyper Supreme

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    Wait someone on EDF got laid?
     
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  11. Grigori Zagan

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    ok since you really don't understand anything I spell it out for you.

    She got pregnant and took shitload of B pills to kill it.

    Do you get it now?
     
  12. Groyper Supreme

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    Jokes: How to make them work
    1. Do not tell them to the autistic
    2. Profit.
     
  13. Fukken_OldGay

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    Ediot

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    :.....(
    RIP kid!
     
  14. Lazarus+

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    i'm sure you'll do your
    'part'
    'in the end'

    next time, champ
     
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  15. Grigori Zagan

    Grigori Zagan
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    Don't be sad. The baby went straight to the heaven since it had no chance to sin.