Killin the Kraken

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Andria Kilgore, Dec 21, 2011.

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  1. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Got a little more than half a handle (1.75 liter) of Kraken rum and a case of Faygo cola here in the infamous attic apartment, no lights other than a few Jesus Christ figural nightlights spatter-painted with red Rust-Oleum, a lava lamp and my neon Shiner beer sign on, 3 packs of Djarum Black cloves with fresh Ronson fuel in my Zippo, and some crazy tribal-fusion music by the Iranian duo called "Vas" on the living room stereo with a soundtrack of a thunderstorm playing out of my bedroom. Nowhere to go today, not much to do but get shitfaced, and it's an unusually cold day for this region...
     
  2. Khanzer

    Khanzer
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    Is that octopus's ink?
     
  3. Seku

    Seku
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    THE COORECT ANSWER IS BECAUSE YOU ARE DEPRESSED AND WANT TO KILL YOURSLEF AND THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY WILL STOP THAT
    I WOULD KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IM A TWENTY FIVE YEAR OLD POWERLIFTER AND I KNOW MY STUFF
    PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY TODAY AS XENU SLOTS ARE LIMITED AND YOU NEED ONE IN ORDER TO GET INTO XENU HEAVEN
    I SPOKE WITH TOM CRUISE AND HE SAID
    JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY NOW OR YOU ARE HITLER WHO WAS ALSO A JEW WHICH MAKES HIM A HYPPOCRIT BECAUSE HE NEVER GOT GASSED AND NEVER PAID THE GASS BILL(LIKE A JEW)I AM SORRY FOR TROLLING YOUR THREADS BECASE I AM SAD BECAUSE I AM DERAILING YOU THREADS WOTH MY VERY LONG AND LARGE POSTS THAT MIMIC MY penis, I AM SORRY AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY WHO WOULD KILL HIM SLEF OVER THIS, THAT IS NOT GOOD BECAUSE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH ON SCIENTOLOGY AND FOR A SMALL DONATION OF 400$ DOLLARS YOU MAY WHY SHOULD I JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY YOU MAY ASK
    THE COORECT ANSWER IS BECAUSE YOU ARE DEPRESSED AND WANT TO KILL YOURSLEF AND THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY WILL STOP THAT
    I WOULD KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IM A TWENTY FIVE YEAR OLD POWERLIFTER AND I KNOW MY STUFF
    PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY TODAY AS XENU SLOTS ARE LIMITED AND YOU NEED ONE IN ORDER TO GET INTO XENU HEAVEN
    I SPOKE WITH TOM CRUISE AND HE SAID
    JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY NOW OR YOU ARE HITLER WHO WAS ALSO A JEW WHICH MAKES HIM A HYPPOCRIT BECAUSE HE NEVER GOT GASSED AND NEVER PAID THE GASS BILL(LIKE A JEW)I AM SORRY FOR TROLLING YOUR THREADS BECASE I AM SAD BECAUSE I AM DERAILING YOU THREADS WOTH MY VERY LONG AND LARGE POSTS THAT MIMIC MY penis, I AM SORRY AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY WHO WOULD KILL HIM SLEF OVER THIS, THAT IS NOT GOOD BECAUSE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH ON SCIENTOLOGY AND FOR A SMALL DONATION OF 400$ DOLLARS YOU MAY WHY SHOULD I JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY YOU MAY ASK
    THE COORECT ANSWER IS BECAUSE YOU ARE DEPRESSED AND WANT TO KILL YOURSLEF AND THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY WILL STOP THAT
    I WOULD KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IM A TWENTY FIVE YEAR OLD POWERLIFTER AND I KNOW MY STUFF
    PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY TODAY AS XENU SLOTS ARE LIMITED AND YOU NEED ONE IN ORDER TO GET INTO XENU HEAVEN
    I SPOKE WITH TOM CRUISE AND HE SAID
    JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY NOW OR YOU ARE HITLER WHO WAS ALSO A JEW WHICH MAKES HIM A HYPPOCRIT BECAUSE HE NEVER GOT GASSED AND NEVER PAID THE GASS BILL(LIKE A JEW)I AM SORRY FOR TROLLING YOUR THREADS BECASE I AM SAD BECAUSE I AM DERAILING YOU THREADS WOTH MY VERY LONG AND LARGE POSTS THAT MIMIC MY penis, I AM SORRY AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY WHO WOULD KILL HIM SLEF OVER THIS, THAT IS NOT GOOD BECAUSE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH ON SCIENTOLOGY AND FOR A SMALL DONATION OF 400$ DOLLARS YOU MAY WHY SHOULD I JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY YOU MAY ASK
    THE COORECT ANSWER IS BECAUSE YOU ARE DEPRESSED AND WANT TO KILL YOURSLEF AND THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY WILL STOP THAT
    I WOULD KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IM A TWENTY FIVE YEAR OLD POWERLIFTER AND I KNOW MY STUFF
    PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY TODAY AS XENU SLOTS ARE LIMITED AND YOU NEED ONE IN ORDER TO GET INTO XENU HEAVEN
    I SPOKE WITH TOM CRUISE AND HE SAID
    JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY NOW OR YOU ARE HITLER WHO WAS ALSO A JEW WHICH MAKES HIM A HYPPOCRIT BECAUSE HE NEVER GOT GASSED AND NEVER PAID THE GASS BILL(LIKE A JEW)I AM SORRY FOR TROLLING YOUR THREADS BECASE I AM SAD BECAUSE I AM DERAILING YOU THREADS WOTH MY VERY LONG AND LARGE POSTS THAT MIMIC MY penis, I AM SORRY AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY WHO WOULD KILL HIM SLEF OVER THIS, THAT IS NOT GOOD BECAUSE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH ON SCIENTOLOGY AND FOR A SMALL DONATION OF 400$ DOLLARS YOU MAY WHY SHOULD I JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY YOU MAY ASK
    THE COORECT ANSWER IS BECAUSE YOU ARE DEPRESSED AND WANT TO KILL YOURSLEF AND THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY WILL STOP THAT
    I WOULD KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IM A TWENTY FIVE YEAR OLD POWERLIFTER AND I KNOW MY STUFF
    PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY TODAY AS XENU SLOTS ARE LIMITED AND YOU NEED ONE IN ORDER TO GET INTO XENU HEAVEN
    I SPOKE WITH TOM CRUISE AND HE SAID
    JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY NOW OR YOU ARE HITLER WHO WAS ALSO A JEW WHICH MAKES HIM A HYPPOCRIT BECAUSE HE NEVER GOT GASSED AND NEVER PAID THE GASS BILL(LIKE A JEW)I AM SORRY FOR TROLLING YOUR THREADS BECASE I AM SAD BECAUSE I AM DERAILING YOU THREADS WOTH MY VERY LONG AND LARGE POSTS THAT MIMIC MY penis, I AM SORRY AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY WHO WOULD KILL HIM SLEF OVER THIS, THAT IS NOT GOOD BECAUSE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH ON SCIENTOLOGY AND FOR A SMALL DONATION OF 400$ DOLLARS YOU MAY WHY SHOULD I JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY YOU MAY ASK
    THE COORECT ANSWER IS BECAUSE YOU ARE DEPRESSED AND WANT TO KILL YOURSLEF AND THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY WILL STOP THAT
    I WOULD KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IM A TWENTY FIVE YEAR OLD POWERLIFTER AND I KNOW MY STUFF
    PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY TODAY AS XENU SLOTS ARE LIMITED AND YOU NEED ONE IN ORDER TO GET INTO XENU HEAVEN
    I SPOKE WITH TOM CRUISE AND HE SAID
    JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY NOW OR YOU ARE HITLER WHO WAS ALSO A JEW WHICH MAKES HIM A HYPPOCRIT BECAUSE HE NEVER GOT GASSED AND NEVER PAID THE GASS BILL(LIKE A JEW)I AM SORRY FOR TROLLING YOUR THREADS BECASE I AM SAD BECAUSE I AM DERAILING YOU THREADS WOTH MY VERY LONG AND LARGE POSTS THAT MIMIC MY penis, I AM SORRY AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY WHO WOULD KILL HIM SLEF OVER THIS, THAT IS NOT GOOD BECAUSE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH ON SCIENTOLOGY AND FOR A SMALL DONATION OF 400$ DOLLARS YOU MAY WHY SHOULD I JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY YOU MAY ASK
    THE COORECT ANSWER IS BECAUSE YOU ARE DEPRESSED AND WANT TO KILL YOURSLEF AND THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY WILL STOP THAT
    I WOULD KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IM A TWENTY FIVE YEAR OLD POWERLIFTER AND I KNOW MY STUFF
    PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY TODAY AS XENU SLOTS ARE LIMITED AND YOU NEED ONE IN ORDER TO GET INTO XENU HEAVEN
    I SPOKE WITH TOM CRUISE AND HE SAID
    JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY NOW OR YOU ARE HITLER WHO WAS ALSO A JEW WHICH MAKES HIM A HYPPOCRIT BECAUSE HE NEVER GOT GASSED AND NEVER PAID THE GASS BILL(LIKE A JEW)I AM SORRY FOR TROLLING YOUR THREADS BECASE I AM SAD BECAUSE I AM DERAILING YOU THREADS WOTH MY VERY LONG AND LARGE POSTS THAT MIMIC MY penis, I AM SORRY AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY WHO WOULD KILL HIM SLEF OVER THIS, THAT IS NOT GOOD BECAUSE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH ON SCIENTOLOGY AND FOR A SMALL DONATION OF 400$ DOLLARS YOU MAY WHY SHOULD I JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY YOU MAY ASK
    THE COORECT ANSWER IS BECAUSE YOU ARE DEPRESSED AND WANT TO KILL YOURSLEF AND THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY WILL STOP THAT
    I WOULD KNOW ALL OF THIS BECAUSE IM A TWENTY FIVE YEAR OLD POWERLIFTER AND I KNOW MY STUFF
    PEOPLE LIKE YOU NEED TO JOIN THE CHURCH OF SCENTOLOGY TODAY AS XENU SLOTS ARE LIMITED AND YOU NEED ONE IN ORDER TO GET INTO XENU HEAVEN
    I SPOKE WITH TOM CRUISE AND HE SAID
     
  4. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    tl;dr except that I hate Scientologists with all my heart, want to kill them all and burn all traces of their "religion", and WILL NOT convert. Glad I could help!
     
  5. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    It's black rum with spices.
     
  6. skylerconcarne

    skylerconcarne
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    Are you a Juggalo?
     
  7. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    Not really (I prefer GG Allin over the ICP), it was just inexpensive.
     
  8. skylerconcarne

    skylerconcarne
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    It sure is. 3 liters for 1.50 up the street.
     
  9. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    I think it was $3.99 plus tax for a case where I got it (grocery store here that hasn't been remodeled since the late 60s/early 70s), I just put it on my debit card along with my Djarums and walked out, I was too drunk on Steel Reserve to drive when I bought it last night...
     
  10. skylerconcarne

    skylerconcarne
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    You sound like you're an OG.
     
  11. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    I aspire to be one, in real life I drive a 2 1/2-ton truck part-time hauling scrap metal, building materials and demolition/renovation waste, do odd jobs around farms in the summer, and have too many vices. I tried working a regular 9-to-5 but couldn't deal with the shit-for-brains bosses, fucktarded coworkers and the union BS.
     
  12. KKKoonhater

    KKKoonhater
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    HELL YEAH! Thats what I'm talking about.
     
  13. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    It may be a low-end malt liquor, but it tastes better to me than most of the mass-market brands and is cheap. Only Schlitz and Old Milwaukee are better as far as basic American beer goes. And knowing that the Ramones sang ads for it (IIRC they were on MTV, BET, VH1 and the Playboy Channel) a few years back doesn't hurt either...
     
  14. KKKoonhater

    KKKoonhater
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    I'm always broke, but I know if I got 5 bucks i can get 2 40's or 4 cans (24's) of SR and get FUUUUUUCKED UUUPPP.
     
  15. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    That is almost as much a constant in life as death and taxes.
     
  16. KKKoonhater

    KKKoonhater
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    Shit in this world it needs to be a constant, that's for sure.