ITT: We pretend that we're Americans.

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Baya Rae 4900, Nov 25, 2011.

  1. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    OMG, half of Japan is underwater and the rest has been turned into a nuclear wasteland! But don't worry, America is going to be okay!
     
  2. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    Americans are the most beautiful race in the world !
    i know we are from watching American T.V shows,sitting in my "Lazy-Boy" eating a double cheese burgers.
    btw... wtf is diabetes ?
     
  3. m450n_yuno

    m450n_yuno
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    LOL It's a sign from God. It's what they get for Pearl Harbor. Thanks, JESUS!
     
  4. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    I'm just out today, nursing a turkey hangover, buffing my totally sweet Ford truck. When my daughter gets home I'll probably fuck her, then later go to the bar and play in my totally boss cover band. Hell yea. (I'm waving a miniature made in China American flag right now.)
     
  5. Rock

    Rock
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    Girlvinyl

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  6. Weezus Christ

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    EDF Savior

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    i dont know how to pretend to be american and i am american.

    i dont recognize nationalism or political parties at all. [until they have me at gunpoint]

    where i plopped out of a vagina does not dictate my loyalties.

    fuck yeah
     
  7. Rock

    Rock
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    Girlvinyl

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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  8. h0xnbl0w

    h0xnbl0w
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    HURR DURR I ARE WIN WW2 SINGLE HENDEDELEY FUCK YOU COMMIES WE R TEH FREEDUMZ
     
  9. Immortal_Cake

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    Noice

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    I'm a Vietnam veteran and I know for a fact that we didn't lose that war!
     
  10. h0xnbl0w

    h0xnbl0w
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  11. Immortal_Cake

    Immortal_Cake
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    Noice

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    Accuracy: 1/10
     
  12. Seku

    Seku
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    OMG, TEH TALIBAN IS TRYNG TO INFLITRATE LIBYA!!111!!!1!1

    Cramped reservations are fair compensation for near genocide.

    WE INVENTED THE INTERNET, THEREFORE, WE ARE SUPERIOR.

    9/11 was undoubtedly the single most important event in human history, and the entire world cares.
     
  13. Seku

    Seku
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    EDF Elite

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    You're either Left or Right, no exceptions.

    The disabled and retarded must be treated equally (but treat them nicer).

    I believe my politicians.

    Call of Duty is soo cool, I'm gunna go into the military!
     
  14. Erotic Boners

    Erotic Boners
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    EDF Hero

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    9/11 NEVER FORGET!
     
  15. Web v1.0

    Web v1.0
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    EDF Hero

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    Everyone is really an american, they just don't know it!
     
  16. lulzbomb

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    Girlvinyl

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  17. Bottom Feeder

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    Girlvinyl

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    Even their Jesus is far better than the sandnigger version.

    [​IMG]
     
  18. beefrave

    beefrave
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    Intergalactic Internets Services LLC

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    1829-1898

    • 1829: Spanish explorers name springs in the desert Las Vegas — Spanish for “the meadows.”
    • 1844: John Fremont’s journal of camping at the Las Vegas Springs brings publicity to the area.
    • 1855: Mormons make first attempt to settle Las Vegas.
    • Oct. 31, 1864: Nevada is admitted as the 36th state in the Union.
    1900-1909

      • 1902: U.S. Sen. William Andrews Clark looks to connect transcontinental railroad through Las Vegas.
      • May 15, 1905: Clark auctions off 600 plots of land, establishing Las Vegas as a town.
    [​IMG]
    Land for sale
    • 1905: The First United Methodist Church of Las Vegas is formed.
    • 1906:What is now the Golden Gate Hotel & Casino opens as the Hotel Nevada in downtown Las Vegas.
    • 1907: First telephone wires installed on Fremont Street.
    • July 1, 1909: Clark County is created.
    • 1909: Nevada bans gambling.
    1910-1919

    • March 16, 1911: The city of Las Vegas is incorporated.
    • 1911: Laws liberalized to allow for “quickie” divorce after six weeks of residency.
    • 1919: Prohibition is ratified — all consumption, manufacturing and distribution of liquor banned.
    1920-1929

      • 1920: Population of Las Vegas is 2,304 (Clark County, 4,859).
      • Nov. 24, 1922: Colorado River Compact is signed by seven western states to divide water equally.
      • 1925: Fremont Street is paved.
    [​IMG]
    First class
    • April, 1926: Western Airlines provides first commercial flight at Rockwell Field.
    • Dec. 21, 1928: The Boulder Canyon Project Act approved, authorizing construction of a dam on the Colorado River.
    • 1928: The El Portal Theatre opens on Fremont Street.
    • Sept. 7, 1929: Work starts on Boulder Dam.
    • 1929: The Las Vegas Review-Journal becomes a daily newspaper.
    • 1929: Las Vegas High School opens.
    1930-1939

      • 1930: Population of Las Vegas is 5,165 (Clark County, 8,532).
      • 1930: Union Pacific Railroad connects Las Vegas to Boulder City.
      • 1931: The Nevada Legislature relaxes marriage and divorce laws and repeals its gambling ban.
      • 1931: Pair-O-Dice Club opens on Highway 91, which later is known as the famous Las Vegas Strip.
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    Time for a parade
    • 1932: Patrick McCarran elected to the U.S. Senate
    • 1933: Prohibition is repealed.
    • 1934: “Helldorado Days” begin, portraying the city’s Old West theme.
    • Sept. 30, 1935: President Franklin Roosevelt dedicates Boulder Dam.
    • 1938: California authorities crack down on illegal gambling, causing many gamblers to move to Las Vegas.
    • 1938: Guy McAfee opens “The 91 Club” on Highway 91.
    • Jan. 1939: Ria Langham divorces husband, Clark Gable, helping Las Vegas earn the title of “Divorce Capital of the World.”
    1940-1949

      • 1940: Population of Las Vegas is 8,422 (Clark County, 16,414).
      • Jan. 25, 1941: U.S. Army creates a gunnery school that will become Nellis Air Force Base.
      • April 3, 1941: Thomas Hull opens the El Rancho Vegas, the first resort on Highway 91 (aka the famous Las Vegas Strip).
      • 1941: The El Cortez opens downtown.
      • Oct. 30, 1942: The Last Frontier opens.
    [​IMG]
    Strip's first resort
    • Oct. 10, 1944: The Huntridge Theater opens as the first non-segregated theater in Las Vegas.
    • Nov. 1944: Liberace makes his Las Vegas debut.
    • 1945: J. Walter Thompson receives first advertising contract to promote Las Vegas tourism.
    • Aug. 30, 1946: The Golden Nugget opens downtown.
    • Dec. 26, 1946: Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel opens the Flamingo Hotel.
    • 1946: Nevada levies first gaming taxes.
    • June 20, 1947: Siegel is murdered in Virginia Hill’s Beverly Hills home.
    • Dec. 20, 1948: Alamo Airport becomes McCarran Field — now known as McCarran International Airport.
    1950-1959

      • April 24, 1950: Desert Inn opens.
      • July 1, 1950: Hank Greenspun publishes the first edition of The Las Vegas Sun under the name of the Las Vegas Morning Sun.
      • Nov. 15, 1950: Sen. Estes Kefauver opens a five-month probe of organized crime with a hearing in Las Vegas.
      • 1950: Population of Las Vegas is 24,624 (Clark County, 48,289).
      • Jan. 27, 1951: Nevada Test Site conducts first nuclear weapons test only 65 miles from downtown Las Vegas.
      • Sept. 1951: Frank Sinatra’s first performance at the Desert Inn.
      • 1951: Vegas Vic, a 40-foot tall waving cowboy sign, is erected at the Pioneer Club.
      • April 22, 1952: Media broadcast detonation of a nuclear device for the first time.
      • Oct. 7, 1952: Sahara opens.
      • Dec. 15, 1952: Sands opens as the seventh resort on The Strip.
      • July 22, 1953: Greenspun and other investors start KLAS Ch. 8, the city’s first commercial TV station.
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    An acting president
      • Sept. 4, 1953:Las Vegas Park opens but horse racing lasts only 13 ill-fated days.
      • Feb. 15, 1954: Ronald Reagan has two-week show at the Last Frontier.
      • April 28, 1954: Roxie’s, a bordello off Boulder Highway, is raided.
      • Sept. 28, 1954: Sen. McCarran dies.
      • March 29, 1955: The Nevada Tax Commission creates the Gaming Control Board.
      • April 20, 1955: The nine-story tall Riviera opens as the tallest building in town.
      • May 15, 1955: Las Vegas celebrates its 50th birthday.
      • May 23, 1955: The Dunes opens, as the 10th resort on The Strip.
      • May 24, 1955: The Moulin Rouge, the first racially integrated hotel opens.
      • Nov. 17, 1955: 14 die when a plane crashes into Mt. Charleston.
      • 1955: The Las Vegas Sun’s starts its Youth Forum.
      • 1955:Liberace becomes the city's highest-paid entertainer, earning $50,000 a week.
      • 1955: Nearly eight million people visit Las Vegas every year.
      • April 23, 1956: Elvis Presley performs first shows in Las Vegas at the New Frontier Hotel.
      • May 18, 1956: The 12-story tall Fremont Hotel opens in downtown becoming the area’s tallest building.
      • 1956: Las Vegas annexes a mile of land, its first addition since incorporation.
      • June 1, 1956: Nellis Air Force Base becomes the home of the Thunderbirds, an aerial demonstration squadron.
      • June 8, 1956: Silver Palace, Las Vegas' first two-story club, opens.
      • June, 1956: Hacienda opens.
    [​IMG]
    Classes in session
    • Jan. 10, 1957: Showgirls make debut with “Minsky’s Follies” at the Desert Inn.
    • April 3, 1957: Tropicana opens.
    • Sept. 10, 1957: UNLV holds its first classes.
    • 1958: The Stardust opens.
    • March 30, 1959: Nevada creates the Gaming Commission.
    • April 29, 1959: The Las Vegas Convention Center opens.
    • October 10, 1959: Freed's Bakery opens, supplying cakes and baked goods to Las Vegas residents, tourists and celebrities alike. (Promotional Partner)
    • 1959: Betty Willis designs “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign.
    1960-1969

      • 1960: Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Joey Bishop and Peter Lawford) performs for first time.
      • March 25, 1960: NAACP members, politicians and businessmen lift Jim Crow restrictions.
      • June 17, 1960: El Rancho goes up in flames.
    [​IMG]
    Packing 'em in
    • Aug. 10, 1960: "Ocean’s Eleven," starring the Rat Pack, debuts.
    • March 1963: McCarran Airport completes expansion and relocation project.
    • Oct. 10, 1963: Atomic Age ends when Limited Test Ban Treaty goes into effect, banning above ground testing at the Nevada Test Site.
    • Nov. 20, 1963: The Las Vegas Sun's newspaper office burns to the ground.
    • 1963: Wayne Newton performs first show at the Flamingo.
    • May 20, 1964: The film “Viva Las Vegas,” starring Elvis Presley and Ann Margret, is released.
    • June 3, 1964: UNLV holds first commencement ceremony as 29 students graduate in the “Centennial Class” as Nevada turns 100.
    • Aug. 20, 1964: The Beatles perform at the Las Vegas Convention Center.
    • Aug. 25, 1964: A rooftop fire causes $1 million in damage to the Sahara.
     
  19. Edgeworth

    Edgeworth
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    FUCK FREE HEALTHCARE.
    PRESIDENT IS MUSLIM BECAUSE HE DIDN'T MENTION GOD IN THANKSGIVING ADDRESS,
    I HATE THREE THINGS, JEWS, NIGGERS AND... UH... UM.... THE EPA?
    OCCUPY WALLSTREET EVEN THOUGH WASHINGTON IS MAKING UP ALL THE FUCKED UP POLICY.
    WE CALL IT FOOTBALL EVEN THOUGH PLAYERS FEET TOUCH THE BALL 1% OF THE TIME.
    HERMAN CAIN, RICK PEREY AND BACHMAN ARE ALL LEGITIMATE CANDIDATES THAT SHOULD BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. RON PAUL TOO.
    RICH PEOPLE NEED MORE TAX CUTS, TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS WORKS.
    CHRISTIAN IS OUR OFFICIAL RELIGION.
    SINCE 9/11 ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS.
    IT IS OKAY TO GROPE PEOPLE IN THE AIRPORT AS LONG AS ITS IN THE INTEREST OF NATIONAL SAFETY.
    PRIVACY? WHO NEEDS IT! WIRE TAPPING AND UNWARRANTED GPS TRACKING IS OKAY BECAUSE IT STOPS TERRORISM.
    GAY MARRIAGE IS WRONG.
    ABSINENCE SHOLD BE TOUGHT IN SCHOOL BECAUSE IT WORKS.
    LETS INVADE IRAQ, BECAUSE FUCK THE SAND NIGGEERS.
     
  20. TheBrickBalls

    TheBrickBalls
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    Girlvinyl

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    What's this I hear about groping in airports? Do they grope men as well? If so, I clearly need to fly more often and carry iron nails up my ass to increase my chances of being groped.
     
  21. m450n_yuno

    m450n_yuno
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    EDF Hero

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    FUCK ALL OF YOU, EDF!
    AMURICUH is greatest country in the world! It's even better than the country of Europe and Africa.
    Don't fuck with my country, yo!
    It's all about patriotizm and . . . and. . . uh. . .free speech!
    So, Don't you dare make fun of the USA.

    USA, USA, USA!!
    [​IMG]
     
  22. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    BLACK $$;
    Oh boy, i am so lucky the NAACP payed my Harvard tuition because my family are ghetto people who spend all they earn from welfare on malt liquor and lottery and processed junk food.
    I prefer to hang out with white people because I know they won't force me to smoke crack at gunpoint.
    I am going to be a Doctor and make my family proud!
    (Black $$ was never made it to Harvard because as he was returning from school a Ghetto nigger shot him to death over money his dumbshit family owed)
    REDNECK $$;
    Squeal you fat liberal nigger-lover squeal!
    Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk.
    RICH WHITE LIBERAL $$;
    I know i gotta respect and admire those African-Americans and Latinos but they are are all fucking disgusting, thank GOD i live in this white only gated community and that doesn't make me racist.
    RICH WHITE REPUBLICAN $$;
    MILITARIZE THE BOARDER, ISRAEL IS THE BEST.
    ISRAEL DIDN'T AGGRESSIVELY EXPAND INTO PALESTINE YOU LYING CUNT NOW GET UP SO I CAN SHOOT YOU AGAIN.
    We should just nuke Afghanistan, seriously, WE NEED MORE JOBS FOR AM-UR-IC-ANS (sells jobs to Guatemala)
    IF YOU AREN'T REPUBLICAN MASTER RACE THEN YOU ARE A HOMO LOVING LIBERAL.
     
  23. Shlomo Bernitz

    Shlomo Bernitz
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    Girlvinyl

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    Neat idea! I'll give it a go:

    *cough*

    I'M FRUSTRATED WITH MY AMERICAN HERITAGE AND THUS I'LL LEAVE FOR AUSTRALIAN GREENER PASTURES TO SPITE MY MOTHERLAND AND SHOW OFF MY SUDDEN ANTI-AMERICANISM.
     
  24. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    AUSTRALIAN $$;
    [​IMG]
     
  25. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Hm, not bad. I'm giving it a 9/11.
     
  26. PerpetuallyAroused

    PerpetuallyAroused
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    Girlvinyl

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    This thread isn't working. The key to being American is being super alpha and better than everyone else. You guys are all unemployed losers, so you clearly can't take on that aura.