Is this normal?

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by zaiger, Jan 30, 2012.

  1. zaiger

    zaiger
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    2017 Faggot Of The Year

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    As a former heroin addict and admin of a major nihilist/anarchist website, I've seen a lot in this life, and I'm no sissy or complainer by any means, but I gotta say, I'm not sure that hooker I was with last night was ALL woman; if you know what I mean.

    I picked this gal up in East Boston. You know the spot. Whores. Anywho, once we get to my par...er, my house, she introduces herself. Turns out her name is Gus.

    Well, Gus not only has hands as long as a damn surf board, but speaks in a deep gravely voice. That's cool I'm thinking. After all, Brittany Murphy had a raspy voice....right?

    But Gus also has the muscular development of a Ukrainian coal miner (not to mention the body hair). Well, I figured it was just one of them athletic chicks who need some Nair......right?

    Well, Gus is about 6'3 and is wearing a strange dress because it is hiding her womanly hips. When we get down to the deed, she's got a funny looking girl thing that almost looks like a cock and nuts. Now, I'm the first all man kind of man that would say that this would be great if it were Barnaby Jones, bit it ain't. And that is totally straight and cool....right?

    Anyhoo, Gus and I go at it, and her girl thing cock keeps slipping into my anus. Well, I mean, there is nothing wrong with that sort of receptive anal intercourse with a prostitute.....right?

    I mean, she is just a little different.

    well, after a while, she blows a huge load of jizz all over me. But I swear it was probably not real jizz, just some sort of yogurt or something. Right??? I mean, She was a woman and all....right????

    Right guys???

    Fuck you.
     
  2. oddguy

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  3. skylerconcarne

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  4. TheDukeOfCrowns

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    You should've charged her.
     
  5. Helix

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    resident stoner

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    Don't worry, happens to me all the time. Those prostitutes are a tricky breed.
     
  6. Solution

    Solution
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    Everyone is boring

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    If money was exchanged it was business. To exert dominance also acceptable. As long as you stay this side of the love line, you will be fine. A word of caution, the cost of a life stile change in this economy would be as irresponsible as asking @oddguy to watch your piggy-bank.
     
  7. TheBrickBalls

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    Girlvinyl

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    We should record some audio for these little stories posted on edf. I mean someone should do voiceovers for them, it would probably encourage more of these things to be written.

    I nominate weezus for voiceovers.
     
  8. THEE HAMMER

    THEE HAMMER
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    PROSTI-AWESOME
     
  9. Rape Train

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    No, what we should do is keep posting stories, and then make an EDF anthology.
     
  10. Rock

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    Girlvinyl

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    no
    actually that's not normal at all
     
  11. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    FUCKING THIS FUCKING THIS FUCKING THIS FUCKING THIS FUCKING THIS FUCKING THIS FUCKING THIS
     
  12. xy0xy1

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    without kale_ it wont be a kickass anthology
     
  13. scumhook

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    As long as your balls didn't touch, then you can claim she was a woman and you're still not ghey.
     
  14. Die In A Fire

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  15. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    Maybe she was Australian?
    Most Australian whores are exactly like you described.

    And yes it is normal for Australian nightwalkers to still have their penises because the lebbo pimps are usually too lazy to cut them off.
     
  16. Rape Train

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    Between Moscows zeal and Xy0xy1s terrible attitude, there's no way an EDF anthology could be anything but awesome.
     
  17. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    yeah, well

    flu and weezus and voodeuxfy

    oh and stormtrooper too
     
  18. Die In A Fire

    Die In A Fire
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    Presutable Woard

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    Well at least you weren't bitten by some rabies-laden whore. XD
     
  19. oddguy

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    Yeah, like @Voodeuxfy
     
  20. Weezus Christ

    Weezus Christ
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    im totally down for that. people say im like a white morgan freeman
     
  21. scumhook

    scumhook
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    What - an ugly cunt?? A tossbag?? You're going to have to be more specific.
     
  22. Weezus Christ

    Weezus Christ
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    EDF Savior

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    a nasally deep voiced dude that says everything in a soothing, yet mocking tone.
     
  23. Voodeuxfy

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  24. Die In A Fire

    Die In A Fire
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    Presutable Woard

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    lol
     
  25. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    I could do some too if you ever need a northern sounding brit...
    /me looks around hopefully
     
  26. TheBrickBalls

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    Girlvinyl

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    By all means, do some voiceovers moscow. Upload them to soundcloud. These stories need to be brought to life.
     
  27. oddguy

    oddguy
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    ill try to make one lul.
     
  28. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    also, a russianski voice over. any russians here?

    and Germans @Lloyd

    hispanics @captainbeefheart

    oh, a black man's voice over @madh8r
     
  29. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    OP has AIDS
     
  30. Seku

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    I can do a pretty convincing southern Chinese accent.