INTELLECTUAL CHECKMATE.

Discussion in 'Locker Room Talk' started by Flu, Feb 19, 2013.

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  1. Flu

    Flu
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    As some of you may know by now, I've been masterfully cultivating an "open relationship" with this one girl, and I've been working on a few others. So far, my relationship status remains successfully "open" because I only just got out of a 7 year looooong relationship only 4-5 months ago, and can't stomach another proper one just yet.

    Anyway, it's all well.

    It was all well, UNTIL: this faggot, let's call him Chad-Trevor, because I hate both those names so much (sorry, Trevor!!).
    Fucking CHAD-TREVOR has jealous eyes for my lady (even though she's not even officially *my* lady - and she only turned 18, so she's really not even a lady, but a girl..)
    According to her, CT always has had eyes for her. In fact, his FB profile is just a pic of her he took while out for coffee, looking at him. It's really, really creepy.

    (He's one of those "coffee dater" guys.)

    And even before I knew he was really into my chick, *I knew --* from the way he was acting around me: far too friendly, and clingy with, lets call her... Birthdaygirl (since I fucked her on her birthday.)

    So, CHAD-TREVOR tells Birthdaygirl that she had better just ditch me, pronto, because I'm apparently a raging alcoholic and a drug addict.

    Granted, he is 50% right -- but I'm no drunk. In fact, I'm such a violent, dumb drunk, I seldom drink to excess anymore. (The only things in life I truly regret all centre around hurting people who don't deserved to be hurt; physically, especially. That's just low-down.)

    But, being the white knight that he is, CT-motherfucker keeps making shit up about me and telling her, in an effort to get her to break [glorious love making] off with me. His "warnings" are always intended to be secret, because he's a gigantic pussy, but Birthdaygirl tells me everytime, of course -- because she knows that I, unlike most people, legitimately enjoy having people hate me for petty reasons; that I love hearing salacious lies, half-truths, and bad-truths about me.

    Infamous is as close to famous as I'll ever get.
    And also, I appreciate the way a series of lies mutates over time, getting worse and worse, until comical. Lies make me feel like Loki.

    So, Birthdaygirl counters his shit, letting it slide to that when CHAD-TREVOR was 17 (he's 22 now), he fucked his sister; more accurately, he r.aped his sister.
    And according to my other friend, also a girl, who actually dated the guy last year, she was r.aped by him, bringing his kill count to a debatable 2.
    He had sex with her while she was asleep.
    "Granted," I explained, "that wasn't real r.ape. It was almost r.ape, MAYBE..." But even that's cutting it. It was low-down, tastless, and funny. But it wasn't r.ape. However, for the sake of making that guy look more like an asshole, let's just call it r.ape. Lets say he's r.aped twice.

    He's the Rape Baron, with two kill counts.
    Only instead of a bi-wing plane, he pulls a little red r.ape wagon. He's got two kill counts marked on its side.

    Finally, the other-other night, Birthdaygirl and I are hanging out by the Safeway, after closing, making out and shit in this tunnel, when out from nowhere, CHAD-TREVOR -- who works in the Deli, r.aping sandwiches and potato salads; he see's us and joins in uninvited -- he "r.apes" the party.

    Just standing there, he eventually r.apes Birthdaygirl from my lap and asks "to speak to her ... IN PRIVATE."

    CHAD-TREVOR reiterated that I was a drunk and a junkie.. and a few [incomprehensible things] also (which I bet I probably am / was.)
    Unlike master faggot, CHAD-TREVOR, I'm an unabashed scumbag. But a fancy, kind of anti-hero scumbag. Not a sister-fucking sort.

    I heard him this time and told him that, again, he was 50% right-on the money -- BUT! Last I heard, it was far worse to be an incestuous rapist.

    INTELLECTUAL CHECKMATE.

    He began sputtering. I kept hounding him to "JUST FUCKIN' FESS UP, MAN."
    He was like, "I was horny and young, and I didn't really fuck her. I just kinda felt her [with my dick.]"

    So, I told him to get the fuck out of my business, leave Bithdaygirl alone (they used to be friends, but she finally faced the truth: he's a rapist!), and, once again, it was much better being a junkie than a repeat rapist - an INCESTUOUS rapist!

    INTELLECTUAL CHECKMATE.


    tl;dr? CHAD-TREVOR forcibly fucks his sister and his sleeping ex.
     
  2. ge5undhe17

    ge5undhe17
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    Girlvinyl

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    hahaha, holy shit
     
  3. Flu

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    yeah man, for real.

    I mean, i normally don't care what people do - even how people mess up. I seriously never lord people's faults over them. But there's proof this guy fucked his younger sister, some years ago. Like, it went to court and it turns out a lot of my kinda-gf's friends know about it, and hate the guy.

    I mean, holy fuck: his excuse isn't any less horrible than his crime.

    When I was that age, I as horny as FUCK all the time. And I admit to [for real] eyeing up my *female* dog (no homo).

    Flat out, I considered fucking my dog.

    But I didn't. Because I figured a) that's fucking SICK - DOG COOTER, and b) the dog might not like it. who the fuck would i be to force sex on anything, female or bitch?

    "I just felt her with my dick" apparently won't save you in the court of public opinion, and it sure as shit doesn't save you in the court of the law.
    He r.aped his sister at 17 -- he's 22 now. You'd think in those 5 years he could have worked on a more convincing, more sympathetic story.

    Or maybe just stopped with the r.ape all together...

    But at least he's no junkie and drunk!!
     
  4. Dr. Rice

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    Girlvinyl

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    "Yo man I didn't know she was your girlfriend. It's not like we really did anything... I just felt her up with my dick is all--nothing too serious."
     
  5. ge5undhe17

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    Girlvinyl

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    Why'd he have to sweet-talk your gf into surrendering her cooch when he could rape-baron his way like usual

    maybe your gf reminded him to his sister, i dunno?

    and lol, rapebaron

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    [​IMG]

    As far as I know incestuous raep is par for the course in Canada. People pretend that they're against it but their words are as convincing as when a Catholic priest claims he's a virgin. Oh and since Canadians are Americans in all but name I wouldn't give a shit if all those bitches were raeped. I mean are we really meant to feel for a people whose identity is that they're exactly like Americans but only more snobby about it somehow?
     
  7. Flu

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    actually, he's still friend-zoned. friend-jailed, i guess, in his case, with my sort-of-gf.

    but you raise an interesting point: why try and talk his way into her barely legal jeans when he could just put his foot in her proverbial door and shove through? this question is all the more perplexing knowing his history... why start knocking on the door now? nobody gets out of the friend-zone politely.

    Well, speaking as a Canadian under the rule of the Queen, we don't really have a choice about incestuous r.ape. You seem like quite the worldly man, The Member Formerly Known As Baya, so I'm sure you already know this - but let me expand on Canadian culture for those less travelled: most nations are required to stand and place their hands solemnly to their sides, or touchingly, upon their hearts for the singing of their national anthem.
    We as Canadians, under Crown Law, must habitually r.ape our siblings during the rendition of OW!!!Canada!! And it's for this reason, also, that Canada takes a contrary position on China's 'one child' policy; Canadian's are required by law to have at least 2 or more children, for obvious reasons.

    Once again, I'm sure The Member Formerly Known As Baya, you already know this -- but again, for the less worldly, the Canadian flag, commonly misrepresented as a maple leaf between two borders, is actually a stretched out, beaten, torn, and warped child's anus, flanked by two imposing siblings on each side.
    So, now the world knows.

    We don't make these laws - we just abide by what the Crown says goes.
    (But I have suspicion that even if the law were revoked, Canadian's as a whole would still continue to r.ape their siblings. It's what makes us better than the Americans, who are more into r.aping the world, as a whole. Canadian's believe in family first.)
     
  8. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    @Flu To be fair, your our historical heads of state have a tradition of fucking the family.
     
  9. chops

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    I'm calling bullshit on that having trouble 'stomaching a proper relationship' part, just go to the club and use your smooth charms on slutty girls.
    I don't understand why you would want anything to do with CT or that girl.
    Anyways, shit sounds fucked up.
     
  10. Flu

    Flu
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    Exactly. That was moreorless the entire theme of my reply. I forgot: you're just as deep up the royal's ass as I am, aren't you? AREN'T YOU!!???

    [​IMG]

    Because I like the company of quality bitches, and it's not all about sex. In fact, very little of it is about sex. As really faggy as it sounds, I genuinely enjoy the close company of this girl, and her friends, who have taken to accepting me and what I offer. I've had bar skanks - my dick stank after fucking them -- and i wasn't even in their poopers...
    With this girl, and one of her friends, it's more about laying around on the main chick's bed, running my hands over their backs, or through their hair, and having them lay on me - or near me.

    But it's also a sexual thing, and a power thing, too.

    Bar skanks will vanish the next morning (if I'm lucky,) gone into a greasy wetdream, the night before. But this girl - those girls (and hopefully more) are always there, bringing me things like food and coffee, helping me while I write by organizing my papers, tuning the radio, etc. They like that I treat them a certain way, and I like that they let me. It's a power thing in the respect that I seldom call them by their real names, opting for monikers like "kitten" and similar tongue-in-cheek, really stupid and otherwise cliche names.

    There's a friendly atmosphere around them you can't foster with a drunk. And there's a free zonal, erotic energy in the air that hearkens to the "chase" all the time, which keeps the relationship alive. As soon as you date, the chase is over and the kill begins, and you're left only with a carcass of the kill. A rotting, stinking, hungover carcass if she's from the bar.

    I'm in no way too polite to say it: I feel like motherfucking Hugh Heffner. And that's why it's so good.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Flu

    Flu
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    AWWWW YEAH MY MAN MARKY MARK DROPPING THEME SONGS TO LOVIN BITCHES PLENTY!!!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  12. ge5undhe17

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    [​IMG]

    "I had good vibrations once.

    I didn't like it."
     
  13. quiet_banshee

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    Fucking breeders lol.

    But I was entertained anyway, by this story. "Rape Baron"? Gold.
     
  14. Harpoons

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    Fissure of Man

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    Congratulations, you intellectually checkmated a retard. That's... something.
     
  15. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    So what is this?
    Like... A thread where you reply to everything with too much text?

    Oh wait, you do that in every thread.
     
  16. Atomic_Joe

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    I fucking love a good story with a hilarious ending and some morbid justice.
    [​IMG]

    Gets me every time.
     
  17. Flu

    Flu
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    Easy kills are the best kills.

     
  18. Akula

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    someone stop the horny pls
    :qq:
     
  19. Flu

    Flu
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    you can NEVER stop the horny.

     
  20. Akula

    Akula
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    i guess not
    welp time to join a nearby monastery and pledge abstinence
     
  21. Akula

    Akula
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    also why am i watching this video that guy is so creepy
     
  22. jack

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    I hate pussy beta rapist.

    Now alpha rapist man who force their Secretary to fuck them for a rise and make their beta husbands raise their rapist offspring are men to be respected.

    one of my biggest dreams is to blow my load in a hot forty year old milf and make her cuckold hubby eat the cream pie.

    gets my dick hard every time.
     
  23. Baya Rae 4900

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    Lawlman

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    Nope. We're only part of the Commonwealth because at least 50.01% of the nation wishes to keep the Queen's birthday as a holiday so they don't have to work that day. Really, Australians are fucking hopeless when it comes to symbolism.
     
  24. Nouble Digger

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    tl;dr: you are getting into high school drama at age 28.

    Way to go?
     
  25. Flu

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    Hey @Nouble Digger and @hkh

    Read all about my...
    HIGHLY SEXUAL TOP-SECRET SUPER UPDATE

    It was the most silky part of the night - that time of night a little past the hour of foreplay, well into the hour of sex, but not quite into the hour for cuddling. It was smooth, cold outside. The ground was slippery, much like Birthdaygirl's inner-thighs. The ground and everything around it, up, down, left, and right was smooth like silk. I felt it. Birthdaygirl felt it too. ...So did Chad-Trevor.

    Locked, stocked, cocked, jocked and ready to roll, I opened the back of my limo up for Birthdaygirl. Then I got in.

    "Driver!" I told the driver... "Driver, take us down the long silk road. I want to bone this fine bitch with zero commitments, and when you get to a speed bump - DRIVER... when you see a speed bump, or pot hole, I want you to PIN IT. Really hit that bump and hole hard. I want to rock Birthdaygirl's socks off. I want to age her another year in an instant with my cock-shocker."

    Down the silk road we sped, hitting every pothole and speed bump along the way. We crashed into a deer - and I almost lost my goo, it felt SOOOO fine, up inside Birthdaygirl.

    "Ohhh, mmmm, Flu baby, you SOOO fine!" moaned Birthdaygirl as she undressed. "|Since you already... blew out my V-shaped candle, on my birthday... why don't we take it up another notch?"

    Birthdaygirl handed me my backpack, fully loaded with books and rocks.

    I gave her a Pierce Brosnan as James Bond smile - real coy. Real sexy.

    "Birthdaygirl, are you sure --" I cautioned her, in a fatherly tone, "- are you sure you're ready to be... POWER-BACKPACKED??"

    "Mmmm yeah, baby!!!" she squealed.

    "So then you know that wearing a backpack gives a man an extra invisible 3", what with all the force of weight on his back, shoving down. You think you're TALL ENOUGH for THE RIDE??"

    Birthdaygirl spread her legs open wide.

    "Driver!" I said... TO THE DRIVER. "Roll down the window between us. Watch how it's done. Watch how a man pleases a woman."

    There was me, Birthdaygirl, and the Driver. But little did we know... there was one more... Chad-Trevor was on the limo roof.

    TO BE CONTINUED. THIS IS ALL REAL. THIS ALL REALLY HAPPENED.


    "Hang loose, Birthdaygirl... as if you got a choice!!!"
    [​IMG]
     
  26. Dr. Rice

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    [​IMG]
     
  27. 1H4T3NUMB3R5

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    ah flu, i was wondering when you were going to resume constructing poetry.
    [​IMG]
     
  28. Nouble Digger

    Nouble Digger
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    FURFRIEND

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    Does she know that you're an addict?
     
  29. Flu

    Flu
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    YES. of course. everybody knows i'm an addict.

    what she doesn't know is, i snuck extra rocks and a few dumbbells in my backpack. ;)