I'm so happy, I have to share this.

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Atomic_Joe, Aug 13, 2012.

  1. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    Normally, I don't do this, but I had such good fortune today, I couldn't resist. No, not money or anything to rub faces in. I'm talking about good ole fashioned fate fucking someone in the mouth.

    This is my ex-wife, Erika.
    [​IMG]
    Totally hot. Total slut, too. I guess that's why I liked her.
    [​IMG]
    Here are some doo-doo pics for you to see her and my pre-Heavy Weapons Guy days. I was so cute and slim. That's so gay.

    Yes, there's a point to this, I'm building tension, CAN YOU FEEL IT?
    [​IMG]

    Anyways, things happened. She tripped and fell into a huge pile of dicks and the only way out was to deflate every last one of them via BLOWJOBS! Or something similar to that, I'm not really sure. Anyway, after almost drowning in a dick pool, and after I got home from being overseas(go figure), we split and that was pretty much the end of it sans an occasionally drunken romp(I'd get drunk and she'd show up). Class.

    Are you ready for the climactic climax of this story?

    BAM, WENT FROM HOT SHIT TO JUST SHIT IN .2 SECONDS.
    [​IMG]


    Side note: IDK that dude, but she probably sucked his dick. Her MOTHER sent me this pic as an update to her daughter...like I'm supposed to be jealous of a man banging a MANATEE.

    See, now, I thought I was over all that. @PerpA got to hear the revenge story from 2010 with her fridge and toilet. But this is like the perfect ending. In 2 years, she managed to get fat and knocked up 2 times.

    BOY, I GUESS I REALLY DODGED THAT BULLET, EH?
    [​IMG]
    Best Monday I ever had.
     
  2. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    lol, wtf? she should stop drinking on facebook
     
  3. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    She clearly didn't grasp what I would DO with this picture. That I would simultaneously laugh so hard I cried while jizzing everywhere at the sheer hilarity of it all. I don't always win, but when I DO...IT IS FUCKING SWEET.
     
  4. Rape Train

    Rape Train
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    EDF Hero

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    You know what would make this story even better? If you sent the mother a message explaining just how happy you are you're no longer banging that hippo, and then screen capped the following conversation for us.
     
  5. dignitator

    dignitator
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    EDF Elite

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    Why do you even still have her mother added?

    Did she make you spaghetti while you held hands with your girlfriend?
     
  6. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    I don't. This was sent directly to my e-mail address. I can understand the shame of a mother of a mutant dugong.

    I didn't really think about it at the time. I got the picture through e-mail. I just kind of started squirming in my seat, then gurgling spit bubbles, then laughing hysterically.
     
  7. Sugar Bombs

    Sugar Bombs
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    Daddy

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    You should caption/cigarsex/draw dicks on that picture and send it back to her mom. :awesome:
     
  8. Sugar Bombs

    Sugar Bombs
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    Daddy

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    Also, I ENJOY THIS FEEL
    Same thing happened to me the other day, although I didn't shit in their fridge.
    It was just a case of: I've gotten better-looking, he looked like shit (beer gut, heroin-sunken eyes, bad skin), and openly admitted he felt like a retard for cheating on me with the town whore. We haven't even spoken for 2 years and this is what he tells me. lol, k. Then I walked away, laughing like @scumhook just before he slips it into a koala bear. I love seeing ex's that were total douchebags get some humiliation.
    Keep living the dream.
     
  9. Massgrav

    Massgrav
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    EDF Elite

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    There is something wrong with her knees. I don't like that. Please tell her that I don't like that one bit.
     
  10. Sugar Bombs

    Sugar Bombs
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    Daddy

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    Nice sandals, faggot
     
  11. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    I think it's cause they're FAT KNEES.
     
  12. Massgrav

    Massgrav
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    EDF Elite

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    That guy might be trying to pull her back into the ocean you know. Since her knees are all wrong and probably broken she can't get back herself.
     
  13. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    We'll never know. Maybe she'll be on Shark Week.
     
  14. Massgrav

    Massgrav
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    EDF Elite

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    Let's all go there watch it and find out.
     
  15. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    Taking my pants off and calling it a day. It can't get any better.
     
  16. Rock

    Rock
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    Girlvinyl

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  17. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    At first I was like
    [​IMG]

    But once I realized what had actually happened,

     
  18. scumhook

    scumhook
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    Managing account details

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    This thraed makes me happy inside.
     
  19. TittyTouchingTiger

    TittyTouchingTiger
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    EDF Hero

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    Shark Week? I think you meant Whale Wars.
     
  20. k-hate

    k-hate
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    OG Dramacrat

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    I'm just going to say how happy I am at this moment in time.
     
  21. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    All he needs is some socks to go with those faggoty sandals.
     
  22. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    EDF Hero

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    that OP made me feel like



    I WANNA WATCH YOU SUCK HIS DICK
     
  23. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    That is a great song.
     
  24. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    EDF Hero

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    and that guy looks like a creeper, tbh
     
  25. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    A creeper with a thing for them plump bitches.
     
  26. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    EDF Hero

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    fatwife.jpg

    oh snap!
     
  27. PerpetuallyAroused

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    Girlvinyl

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    o joe you preggo maker.
     
  28. Harpoons

    Harpoons
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    Fissure of Man

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  29. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    It appears you have a huge case of EPIC WIN right here joe.
     
  30. Murdoc esp

    Murdoc esp
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    EDF Elite

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    soy un vago de mierda....
    There's nothing wrong to enjoy a nice cup of Schadenfreude ,after some crazy bitch...enjoy it OP