I'm getting a roommate

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Dr. Rice, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    So I am getting a roommate from Gangster's Paradise in China for an undisclosed period of time. She is seventeen years old, very kawaii, and only has lived so far in shitty Seattle so far. She has never been to glorious California. As a good host I want to show her around the bay area. If you were new to California (and America) what would you want to see?
     
  2. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    No I do not consider Seattle as America.
     
  3. TheBrickBalls

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    Girlvinyl

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    Show her Oakland. After that, calm her down by taking her down to Fisherman's Wharf. If I recall correctly, there's a giant anchor somewhere by the little deserted beach area(or maybe it was some other type of naval equipment).
     
  4. Baya Rae 4900

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    Lawlman

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    Rice's cock. Let her see America in all its glory.
     
  5. TheBrickBalls

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    Girlvinyl

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    I believe that would be my cock, which this forum has seen in all it's dark chocolate glory.
     
  6. Chainsaw surgeon

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    EDF's anal hookworm

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    Chinatown.
     
  7. TheDukeOfCrowns

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    hipster rave. With pretty people. People love pretty people
     
  8. Rock

    Rock
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    Girlvinyl

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    Have her bring over some killer weed
     
  9. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    I thought about this, but I realized that it would be very unlikely she has access to better quality drugs than I do (in particular LSD). However, given from where she is from in China her having access to higher quality drugs isn't impossible. Instead I will let her sample the local samples, if she is into getting high.
     
  10. TheDukeOfCrowns

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    You're not trying to bang her are you.
     
  11. Chainsaw surgeon

    Chainsaw surgeon
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    EDF's anal hookworm

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    It's okay, he might wait for her next birthday just to not be a pedophile.
     
  12. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    Not at the moment. It is more important for me to have contacts in China who are about my age. While normally it would be immoral to have sex with minors (lol), when you come to America to go to college at the age of seventeen, are you really a minor?
     
  13. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    The answer is no.
     
  14. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    you're just butthurt because Washington has superior bud.
     
  15. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    When did Washington get ahead of California? I thought we were second after Colorado.
     
  16. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    Washington has the perfect climate for growing weed. Cali is too hot and dry. Compared to the rest of the U.S though, you still have pretty solid weed. Can't say about Colorado though.
     
  17. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    You know, there is this thing known as growing indoors. Also the cold atm is perfect for making purple plants. The shit my friend is a quality I've never seen before. I will get pictures.
     
  18. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    Indoor bud just isn't the same!
     
  19. Ahseyo

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    Who the fuck really cares, just bang her and get over eeeet lol.
     
  20. MrGask

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    #FreeGask

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    You should take her to one of the occupy rallies and throw bricks at the police. It will be just like home.
     
  21. Flu

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    Keep an eye on her. Make sure she takes no pictures. If she does, screen them. If she sends any e-mail to China, try to intercept it. If she goes away, follow her. Never give her a moments quarter - never let her alone. Even if she _seems_ nice, there's a huge chance she's a chink pinko spy - and that's not alright. So, I'd suggest taking her to a local area knick-knack shop where they sell tiny American flags, and she if she's willing to fill her vag and ass with them -- test her new found patriotism. A new China arrival should be willing to fill her vag with no less and five miniature flags, while a chinaman who's really willing to be Americanized will also include at least two in her pooper.
    Since you're willingly harboring an Eastern enemy, it'll be up to you to watch her 24/7. But don't feel bad: she's used to this and will feel like you're her state protector - and then you might get to put something a little more American than a flag up her vag and bum.
     
  22. MrGask

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    #FreeGask

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    Rice is just trying to develop opium connections. He should have joined the US Army instead.
     
  23. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    She is from Macao which makes me question if her parents are actually gangsters. So maybe opium connections.
     
  24. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    THIS IS WHAT AMERICANS ACTUALLY BELIEVE
     
  25. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    Rich people from Macao are usually connected to the gangsters. Sorry you aren't that cultured to know anything about Macao.
     
  26. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    THIS IS WHAT AMERICANS ACTUALLY BELIEVE

    (The former Portuguese colony? Yeah, I know what it is.)
     
  27. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    I've lived in Hong Kong for three years. I know what Macao is like. It is full of Triads due to all the gambling. Macao is the largest center for gambling in Asia, possibly the world. Stop pretending like I know nothing about China.
     
  28. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Your "experiences" are irrelevant. You clearly don't learn shit from them.
     
  29. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    Her being a gangster's daughter is unlikely, but not out of the question. I don't know why you are sperging about this quite like you are.
     
  30. TheDukeOfCrowns

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    Macao is also a great place for gambling. Maybe she's just the daughter of a disreputable owner of a legal establishment.