You'll mongle it for free, bitch. Then I'll go through your shit and take anything I want, dump a turd on your coffee table, and you'll fucking thank me for it.
Well that just took all the fun out of it. OK, forget the cock mongling and dumping. Let's do something else.
When I'm bored, I like to kidnap a local crack whore and perform experiments on her. We'll need the usual - plastic sheets, sound proof room, etc; but I'm sure you're already set up for this. Open to other ideas if you've got any.