If you were a serialkiller/murderer

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Ahseyo, Jul 28, 2011.

  1. Ahseyo

    Ahseyo
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    And wanted to kill someone, how would you do it? And how would you come to do it and clean up all the evidences? Feel free to think yourself in some kind of profession that would help you with both of these things.

    I would personally torture that person really, really slow and make it as painful as possible. Then when done, I'd get some chemicals and burn the body so hard that not a trace could be found.
     
  2. Negi Springfield

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    There is several disposal methods that work with a body, both require little to no specialized equipment or anything. First one is just the most simple method - breaking the body up after draining all or most of the blood. You basically do what most meat packing plants do (in your tub, using your shower to wash it all down the drain) and or use the toilet to dispose of the pieces.

    Fucked up, but you're a serial killer. Feed pieces to animals or do what the Latin Kings did to one of their own - fed the body to other prisoners ground up in the chow.
     
  3. Harpoons

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    If I was going to kill someone the last thing I'd do is reply to a thread about how I'd kill someone.
     
  4. Ahseyo

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    The blood smells terrible after a while. You'd have to use strong chemicals in order for the smell to vanish, and even then people would be suspicious about you.
     
  5. Beefcake

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    You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
    [​IMG]
     
  6. Negi Springfield

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    Beefcake wins.

    Pigs are just NO EW GROSS.
     
  7. Missingno

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    Kidnap them.
    Securely tie their limbs together with rope and tape their mouth shut.
    Bring them to your house (must live in a rural area).
    Go downstairs to your workbench and tie them to it.
    Experiment and have fun with them. Don't torture them too much, or they'll die early from shock.
    Take them out, still alive into the woods.
    Make a fire, burn them alive.
     
  8. Rock

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    Let me tell you what would push me over the edge. If I watched the Carl's Junior tv ad with Paris Hiltson.

    I would see that commercial, possibly having breakfast lets say. I'd very very delicately pad my mouth dry with napkin, then drive somewhere possibly a suburban mall.
    And three hours later 2-3 women would be hung upside down gutted and their blood drained.

    Yes.
     
  9. Baya Rae 4900

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    This thread was bound to attract only nice, wholesome people.
     
  10. LIL LOC ANIMOSITY

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    if you're going to kill someone, dont be a pussy about it. youre not fucking paid assassins for fucks sakes.

    when i decide to take someones life, i am not planning on getting away with it.
     
  11. Lucila

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    I would lure them to my house with promises of hot sex. Then tie them to a bed. Then methodically make small incisions around their cock. Not enough to bleed out mind you, just enough to scare them. Then masturbate next to them, since pain can be pleasure right? Then when the torture was tiring me out and getting old, just make a Y incision and watch them bleed to death. Then of course pouring acid on the body and burning it.
     
  12. Rape Train

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    I'd wrap them in duct tape, throw them in the woods, and party for 31 days.
     
  13. Doakes

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    lol

    I would do what Dexter does and hunt the rest of you retards like dogs.
     
  14. LIL LOC ANIMOSITY

    LIL LOC ANIMOSITY
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    how many times have you mentioned that show and some retard-faggot thinks youre refering to that lil kiddie cartoon?
     
  15. Doakes

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    God like every time I mention it
     
  16. Baya Rae 4900

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    Yeah, I'd be really scared if a 5'2 Washingtonista comes after me.
     
  17. LIL LOC ANIMOSITY

    LIL LOC ANIMOSITY
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    you wouldnt even know you were got until you woke up strapped to a table with saran wrap.
     
  18. Baya Rae 4900

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    I'd like to see his scrawny ass drag me anywhere.
     
  19. Rape Train

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    Of course you would, that's obviously the first scene of your fantasy.
     
  20. Baya Rae 4900

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    Yes, I'm just looking to jump into the arms of a man who's 2/3rds my height and 3/5ths my weight.
     
  21. LIL LOC ANIMOSITY

    LIL LOC ANIMOSITY
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    YOU DID GET THE PART WHERE WE WERE TALKIN BOUT THE SERIAL KILLER FROM THE SHOWTIME SERIES, AND NOT THE LIL KID CARTOON BOUT THE LABORATORY RIGHT?
     
  22. SuperSpecialSuperStar

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    though dee dee is obviously an animal raping future spree killer
     
  23. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Have you ever seen a picture of Doakes, dipshit?

    Dexter is Dexter when he grows up and gets laser eye surgery!
     
  24. SuperSpecialSuperStar

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    no, dexter grows up to be robotnick
     
  25. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    [​IMG]
     
  26. LIL LOC ANIMOSITY

    LIL LOC ANIMOSITY
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    I'M NOT SURE THAT I HAVE, THE ONLY PICTURE I SEEN WAS HIS LITTLE WEIRD AVATAR THING. IS THIS RELEVANT SOMEHOW?
     
  27. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Doakes is this tiny teenager from the east coast of America.
     
  28. ge5undhe17

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  29. LIL LOC ANIMOSITY

    LIL LOC ANIMOSITY
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    WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH 'DEXTER'? I R CONFUSEDED