I might die tomorrow

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Bottom Feeder, Aug 1, 2012.

?

You're fired

  1. My dad suffered a stroke

    8 vote(s)
    50.0%
  2. Boss, I have a super serious illness

    2 vote(s)
    12.5%
  3. knee pads

    3 vote(s)
    18.8%
  4. I was robbed?

    1 vote(s)
    6.3%
  5. fake an epiphany

    1 vote(s)
    6.3%
  6. NOT!!

    1 vote(s)
    6.3%
  1. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    Hai /b/. So I have to prepare a pretty convincing excuse as to why I didn't go to work these last two days, or else I'm done for, for real. Any suggestions?
     
  2. Rock

    Rock
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    Girlvinyl

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    [​IMG]
     
  3. scumhook

    scumhook
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    Workplace shooting.

    Go feral on their arses, then an hero.

    We can then say "Botto seemed like a nice quiet user".
     
  4. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    That's always a possibility, an hero on their faces, scar them for life, the assholes.

    Or maybe something more subtle like faking a seizure and start convulsing and foaming at the mouth.
     
  5. scumhook

    scumhook
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    I like the seizure.

    Make sure you have a shitload (literally) of beans & chili the night before, and then spray them with an anal firehose while screaming about aliens and foaming like a rabid dog.

    You'll be put on disability & be set for life.
     
  6. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    I've been watching seizure videos, I think I could pull it off.
     
  7. scumhook

    scumhook
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    EDF is with you.

    See you on Jewtube.
     
  8. Lyle

    Lyle
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    turtle

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  9. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    Thanks Scumo. Btw the rest of you are useless, I bet most of you are happy that I'll join the ranks of jobless cunts.
     
  10. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    600px-Middle-management-dino.svg. 600px-Middle-management-dino.svg. 600px-Middle-management-dino.svg. 600px-Middle-management-dino.svg. 600px-Middle-management-dino.svg.
     
  11. Lyle

    Lyle
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    turtle

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    Being an ediot is a full time commitment. Unless you are a telemarketer, jew, or do bad things to kids in libraries you can't dedicate yourself without quitting your job.
     
  12. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    I just got so obsessed over trying to hack DLC for a ps3 game I didn't sleep for days, I just couldn't let it go.
     
  13. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    Lol, what a retard.
     
  14. scumhook

    scumhook
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    All referred to in Lyle's deeply hurtful and offensive post.

    The last thing I want to do is stir up trouble...
     
  15. Trixie

    Trixie
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    The Nicest Poster on EDF2

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    tell kids to "SSSSSHHHHHH!" a bad thing!?!?!?
    i'm an evil, evil person then.
     
  16. scumhook

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    I tell kids to "SSSSHHH" too.

    Usually when they ask "are you supposed to be touching me there?"

    I can only assume that's what you're referring to.

    I don't think that makes you a bad person.
     
  17. Solution

    Solution
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    Everyone is boring

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    Ok, things you need:
    1. Two or more drugs, go for a mix of prescription and illegal, acid and/or meth would be a force multiplier.
    2. Fire arms...Lots of em'
    3. A very gullible person (Extra points for grandma)

    Get em' him high, convince him that the shit is about to go down and the safest place to be is prison. Use Anders, Aurora, ect. as references and by all means direct him here, just pm in advance.
    Get him to tie you up and pop off some shots. Then just wait for the cops and be brave cause not only do you have an alibi but your a fucking victim turned hero. Do some talk shows and start your own charitable org. helping fight crime and never have to go back to that "job" again.
     
  18. Lyle

    Lyle
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    turtle

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    Running a charity scam is so much work that it's work.
     
  19. The Doctor

    The Doctor
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    EDF Hero

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    Doesn't matter which method you use, but ask your friend to post a video so we can enjoy the show anyways.

    dwenjoy.
     
  20. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    If you'd like a job where your only responsibility is getting yelled at by an upset customer because one of your employees made a racial joke in the course of a sales pitch, then call-center management might be for you.
     
  21. Harpoons

    Harpoons
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    Fissure of Man

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    Just go to work and start letting out little bursts of piss on things that are lying around. When someone questions you, act agressively, snarl and claw at them. Eventually you can tell your boss that you think you deserve a promotion, and were marking and defending your territory accordingly. He'll respect you for this, and your problems will be solved.
     
  22. Massgrav

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    EDF Elite

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    Fuck you, bottom feeder... First I find out that Lyle is not dying from cancer ("I have antiblablablaturtlesblablaaidswhatever!") and now I find out that this thread is about your shitty fucking job as a fucking tourist indian in some fucking gay fake inka village somewhere at disneyland?!?!?

    Can just ONE of you motherfuckers fucking die?!
    YOU ARE ALL THE FUCKING REASON I DRINK AND TOUCH MY IMAGINARY KID SISTER!!!

    6a00d8341c82c653ef0168e5ec8577970c-500wi.
     
  23. Lyle

    Lyle
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    turtle

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    It shouldn't be too long before The Member Formerly Known As Baya suffers some terminally fat-related illness.
     
  24. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    Tell them that you had a minor nervous breakdown, and that you're feeling better now. Also tell them that it won't happen again.
     
  25. faggotmaximum

    faggotmaximum
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    EDF Hero

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    the correct way to deal with this is to get a pair of scissors, remeber to run while carrying them, and cut a hole in the front of your work trousers. then you turn up to work as usual but make sure your cock, just the cock not the balls, is dangling out of the newly cut hole in your pants.
     
  26. Trixie

    Trixie
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    uh no.
    they run around like soccer hooligans & yelling...
    that's what the almighty "SSSSHHHHHHH!" is for.
     
  27. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    I followed the most voted alternative. Daddy is now officially hospitalized, poor bastard.

    FUCK YOU MASS, I BE A PROFESSIONAL!!!
     
  28. scumhook

    scumhook
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    Bummer.

    Nothing worse than a short soccer hooligan that you can't hit.
     
  29. Trixie

    Trixie
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    The Nicest Poster on EDF2

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    i know, right.

    i wish i could whip an unabridged dictionary @ their scurrying little heads.