I can't sleep EDF, read me a story?

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Tai Le Ree, Jan 31, 2012.

  1. Tai Le Ree

    Tai Le Ree
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    please?
     
  2. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    Once upon a time...

    My cock.
     
  3. Tai Le Ree

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    That was a good story. Its just missing something... The story just had everything go right.
     
  4. Rape Train

    Rape Train
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    Bayar Ae sat hunched behind the dumpster. He was standing in a sticky pool of leakage from the rusting dumpster. A rat scurried through the detribus around him. It was a cold night, a night he would remember for the rest of his life. He checked his wrist watch. He had another fifteen minutes before The Event occurred.

    The darkness of the night was only broken by the neon glow of the gay bar he was standing next to. He gave a grim chuckle as he thought of that night, thirty years ago, today. He couldn't have known it was a gay bar, he had never been to America before. The Flaming Cherry. The name of the bar was etched into Bayars mind.

    He had been attacked as a youth visiting the Great Country of America. Bayar had just turned 21, and like a moth to a flame, the glow of The Flaming Cherry brought him into the heart of homosexual culture. He remembered leaving the bar to go to his car, confused as to what he had witnessed inside, when suddenly a man came from behind. The man would grab him by the neck, slam him against the wall of The Flaming Cherry, and drag him back into the darkness of the alley. He would black out for what seemed like an instant, only to awaken, sitting bruised in a sticky pool against a dumpster. Bayar would be flipped over and violently sodomized. It was a pain he didn't think was bearable as his anus was ripped open. He almost lost consciousness as his attacker thrusted into him. He thought he heard a voice, but it wasn't clear of the rhythm thumping coming from The Flaming Cherry. His head slammed into the dumpster during the final thrust, and the last thing he would see was a rat sitting next to his face. Himself, his attacker, and a rat were the only witnesses to Bayars greatest tragedy. He never saw his attackers face, but he was sure it was someone from the bar. Ever since then, Bayar had hated America.

    Bayar shivered in the cold. He didn't remember it being this cold, but he didn't have alcohol flowing in his veins to keep him warm. He checked his watch. Ten minutes. "Not this time" he thought. He began to reflect on his life. He had spent thirty years of his life preparing for this moment. The moment when he would change everything. For the past thirty years he had toiled in isolation. Bayar never pursued a family, or friends, or to better his life. Why would he bother when no one else could understand his pain brought to him by the American homosexual; the terrible pain of being used, and feeling weak, and having his anus ripped open. They could never understand it. Bayar knew that if he succeeded, that wouldn't matter. He would get a life after he had set things right. His contempt for America, and his desire to be not raped were what propelled him forward. It consumed him until he was just a shell of a man. A shell with a mission branded so clearly in his mind that, even if Bayar were to suffer brain trauma, he would still pursue his goal like the automaton he had become. Like an American scum rapist chasing an Aussie.

    A mere twenty minutes ago, Bayar had finally completed his goal of developing a functional time machine. He had unlocked a power once only reserved for God Himself. He could bend time like it was his play thing, and there was only one thing he could do. He set the portal for March 25th, 2003. Going back this far meant the trip was one way, but that was all he needed. He would stop The Event, then cease to exist. A better rape free Bayar would take his place, and he would pursue a life of frolicking in the Australian outback.

    Bayar checked his watch. Five minutes until The Event. He heard a door open and saw himself stumble out. The Member Formerly Known As Baya realized just how much being raped had stolen from him as he watched the ghost of his past. Still, something was wrong. The assailant still hadn't shown up. He glanced over his shoulder and only saw the desolation of a rundown alley and a rat sitting on the rails of a fire escape ladder. "Perhaps the American Scumbag homosexual is still inside the bar, and will attack whenever he leaves the bar!". He waited until the door opened again and watched as a man stepped behind his former self.

    "Hey friend, I understand that you aren't gay, but you really shouldn't drive home. Let me call a cab for you." A man said to the intoxicated The Member Formerly Known As Baya. This was it. The Event was about to happen. Bayar started to stand up, but slipped on the puddle he had been waiting in. His eyes bulged in terror as he realized he wouldn't be able to save himself. Then he heard a familiar stereotypical Australian accent shout out "OI BUDDY! WHAT'D OI SAY I AIN'T NO QUEER AND YOU GAY BLOKES WON'T BE 'AVIN' NONE O' MY HOT AUSSIE ASS!" The young Bayar took a swing at the man and missed. The man stormed off, muttereing that The Member Formerly Known As Baya wasn't at all attractive, and that this would be the last time he tried to help a foreigner.

    "This can't be right." Bayar thought. "That was the rapist! It must have been! Maybe it wasn't someone from the bar though... maybe there was another person. But the more I think about it, the more I realize... If I do this, if I stop my rape then will this version of me die? I don't know if I'm ready to die. I thought I was, but looking at me... I don't think I'm worth dying for. I'm a terrible human being. The way I punched that American scum who was only trying to save me from myself. I had the power of God Himself no more than half an hour ago, and I would throw that away on this loser? That would be a true crime. Maybe I should leave and let fate take its course or maybe...." It suddenly dawned on The Member Formerly Known As Baya. What he must do.

    He ran up behind the young Bayar and grabbed him by the neck. He threw himself against the brickwall, and watched his body slump against ground. He picked up the limp body and moved himself behind the dumpster. The Member Formerly Known As Baya angrily unbuttoned off his own pants. Then he ripped off young Bayars pants. It was cold, but that wouldn't stop him. This was the moment that he had spent thirty years working towards. He started to violently thrust while whispering into his own ear "I hate you, you made me do this. Why do you have to be me? How can I be you?!" His rage grew as he continued to thrust himself harder into the slime. He let himself sync with the beat coming from The Flaming Cherry. Finally, 22 seconds later, he finished. He looked at the rat sitting next to him, Bayar and the rat were the sole witnesses of The Event. He got up and buttoned his pants, then gave a sigh of relief. It was finally over.

    There was no fear as Bayar left into the darkness. He knew he would never be caught, because they never did find his rapist. This was the night Bayar lost his virginity.
     
  5. Tai Le Ree

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    I can sleep better. Thanks Rape Train :3
     
  6. Khanzer

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    EDF official mascot

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    oh wow.
     
  7. Rape Train

    Rape Train
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  8. Baya Rae 4900

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    Lawlman

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    The old one was better. It was shorter, didn't change the name and flowed better.
     
  9. ExplosiveDiareah

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    Girlvinyl

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    Once upon a time, Electric Diareah was asked to read Tai a story, so he grabbed a pillow and smothered Tai with it till he stopped moving and when ED removed the pillow found that Tai was dead, no pulse, no breathing, nothing.
    satisfied ED went to the bathroom and ripped up a water fountain and carried it to the window threw it smashing the glass into thousands of pieces, climbed through and ran over the hills and into the distance.
    THE END.
     
  10. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    once upon a time, there was a mongoose named @Tai Le Ree.

    he went outside for a walk and looked around the park he was in. there was an anthill.

    @Tai Le Ree bent over backwards to look at the anthill's hole.

    There were ants. one ant entered, three ants exit. thirty-seven ants entered, nine ants exit. seven ants entered, three ants exit. two ants entered, two ants exit. five ants entered, sixteen ants exit. ten ants entered, three ants exit. one ant entered, eight ants exit. eighty-eight ants entered, three ants exit. thirty-one ants entered, three ants exit. fourteen ants entered, one ant exit. one ant entered, one ant exit. two ants entered, three ants exit. 500 ants entered, five ants exit. three ant entered, three ants exit. one ant entered, three ants exit. thirty-seven ants entered, nine ants exit. seven ants entered, three ants exit. two ants entered, two ants exit. five ants entered, sixteen ants exit. ten ants entered, three ants exit. one ant entered, eight ants exit. eighty-eight ants entered, three ants exit. thirty-one ants entered, three ants exit. fourteen ants entered, one ant exit. one ant entered, one ant exit. two ants entered, three ants exit. 500 ants entered, five ants exit. three ant entered, three ants exit. one ant entered, three ants exit. thirty-seven ants entered, nine ants exit. seven ants entered, three ants exit. two ants entered, two ants exit. five ants entered, sixteen ants exit. ten ants entered, three ants exit. one ant entered, eight ants exit. eighty-eight ants entered, three ants exit. thirty-one ants entered, three ants exit. fourteen ants entered, one ant exit. one ant entered, one ant exit. two ants entered, three ants exit. 500 ants entered, five ants exit. three ant entered, three ants exit. one ant entered, three ants exit. thirty-seven ants entered, nine ants exit. seven ants entered, three ants exit. two ants entered, two ants exit. five ants entered, sixteen ants exit. ten ants entered, three ants exit. one ant entered, eight ants exit. eighty-eight ants entered, three ants exit. thirty-one ants entered, three ants exit. fourteen ants entered, one ant exit. one ant entered, one ant exit. two ants entered, three ants exit. 500 ants entered, five ants exit. three ant entered, three ants exit.
     
  11. Rape Train

    Rape Train
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    The only reason I changed the name is because I thought I changed it in the original. It's never easy to live up to a memory though, so I can't say I'm surprised when you say the original was better (I agree!). Oh nostalgia. Too bad no one saved it.
     
  12. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    Fuck you.
     
  13. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    last time i read that to someone, he fell asleep.
     
  14. ExplosiveDiareah

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    And never woke up again..
     
  15. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    There once was a magical meadow next to a magical forest and in this magical meadow lived a angry elf called $$Trooper.
    [​IMG]

    FINISH THE STORY.
     
  16. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    and then the angry elf fucks another angry elf.

    all of the angry elves were gathered in a clearing and was catapulted one by one to destroy the brick houses where trolls live in

    there was a fat elf, a blue multiplying elf, a yellow flying elf, a nigger elf that can explode

    they lived happily ever after
     
  17. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    No, Elves can't be niggers.
     
  18. ExplosiveDiareah

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    And then a skeleton popped out.
    I love the illustration by the way, maybe you should make more and we can all write a story to accompany it. has anybody heard of a Gnoll? it's half Gnome and half Troll.
     
  19. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    no nigger elves? haaaaaaa you're kidding me righ?

    [​IMG]
     
  20. xy0xy1

    xy0xy1
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    [​IMG]
     
  21. ExplosiveDiareah

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    Girlvinyl

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    Nigger Elves are not called Elves, they are called Orcs.
    Jimmy?
     
  22. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    That is a dark elf.
    and i know that dark elves aren't niggers because they don't cause the same level of disgust a nigger does.
     
  23. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    I'll provide my expert drawing skillz to this, hopefully, excellent children's book.
     
  24. Moscow

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    @Tai Le Ree was running. the filthy paedofur had just had his dirty little secret outed and now everyone in EDFtown was baying for blood. most of the residents had been content to chase him out of town with flaming torches and pitchforks but one man had gone further. Christian warrior, the town's priest, the one who had outed him was now pelting after him screaming about divine rertribution and how he would smite the furry monster. It was hot in the fur suit, Tai was already breathing heavily suddenly from no-where, @Flu, a huge mountain of a man burst from a bush just behind tai, in his hand he had a huge chainsaw which he revved loundly as he too gave chase. screaming with terror the hated furry tried to work his legs faster. He tripped. an exposed tree root snagged his foot an he wend town hard, the fursuit absorbed most of the impact bust he was still stunned he tried to scrabble to hsi feet but it was too late, Flu was upon him! Flu swung the chainsaw between Tai's legs, the blade tore eagerly into fur and flesh and it shredded tai's micropenis and testicles, leaving a ragged, bloody hole. Tai screamed, screamed like he'd never screamed before. Flu stood and lauged as Tai rolled around on the floor screaming and crying. ChristianWarrior finally caught up, and seeing the sight of the vile paedophile furry in so much agony, smiled. "God has laid his judgement before you vile fiend!" he cried, "Did I not say the almighty would Smite thee?" he turned to Flu "righteous warrior of our lord, god has given you the task to destoy this darkling beast. Do this and all your sins will be forgiven!"
    Flu looked on at the sobbing bleeding creature and smiled his odd little smile "It shall be done" he rasped and st about his business. using cable ties he trussed the now unconcious furry to a branch and carried him back to his shack in the woods. there he tied the comatose tai to a rack and went to fetch his churn of salty holy water. Tai came awake with a scream as the freezing salt water washed over him, his mutilated groin singing out in utter agony. "Please, No!" he yelled "have mercy!"Flu said nothing , he merely picked up his meat scissors and punched tai hard in the mouth, as the furry lolled in his bindings stunned, flu jammed the scissors into tai's mouth and with one snip severed his tongue. tain screamed again, or tried to, blood jetted out in a great spray all over fl who grinned and licked his bloody lips with pleasure. readying his axe and hot oil he prepared for the next stage of the torture. First, he laid the rach horizontally paying no heed to the moans and spluttering gurgles his captive emitted. then, after bracing the left leg against a hard wooden block he kep around just for occaisions like this, flu raised the large woodcutters axe and brought it down on tai's leg, severing it just above the knee. another high pitched whining screech. quickly flu cauterized the stump with his boiling oil, eliciting another round of scrreching protests. He repeated the process for the other leg and both arms. tai was still alive, barely, and je decided that that was enough for one day. he gave a hige shot of adrenaline to his prisoner and hooled him up to a blood bag. tomorrow he would finish his grisly task, but for now, time to watch some MLP and have a nice cup of tea.
    The next moring flu awoke refreashed and jolly he hummed a little tune to himself as he fetched himself a bowl of corn flakes. with his morning ritals over he wanderd over to where his captive lay, drifting in and out of conciousness. another sluicing of freezing saly water brought the captive tai round. time to finish this. "rise and shine sleeping beauty" rasped flu. Tai only whimpered. joe next picked up a scalpel from his collection of toola and made his way over where tai lay quivvering with shock and fear. "this will only hurt a bit- relatively speaking" flu made a slit in tai's belly, bood welled to the surface, staining the fur suit a bright crimson. flu cut deeper and then used a pair of forceps to open the ound out. now for the final humiliating part of this job flu unzipepd his filthy bloodsoaked jeans amnd ropped his boxers to reveal his huge throbbing penis. tai guessing what was coming struggled and whined, spewing fresh bood from his tortued mouth. Flu showed no mercy and climbed on top of tai before plunging his awful, thick member through the hole in tai's torso and into his innards. as flu began to pump, little waves of blood and bile spurted out of tais mouth and his vision began to blurr. flu thrust harder, feeling things tear and he pumped in and out. he loved this part of the job. he could feel the weakening beat of tai's heard against the head of his member. it was extasy. he let go, flooding tai's pulverised body cavity with wave after wave of thick yellowy jizz. the last this tai felt before he slipped int black ness was a dull fiery ache all over his body, and the feeling liquid warmth spewing into him.

    The next day flu returend to the village in his verry best suit with tai's taxidermied head in a box. he presented this to mayor Zaiger and was made head selectman of the town.

    The End.
     
  25. Die In A Fire

    Die In A Fire
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    Presutable Woard

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    Oh deary dear. You're writing a children's book?
     
  26. ExplosiveDiareah

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    Girlvinyl

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    Flu later died of Aids.
     
  27. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    I can't believe I just wrote that.
     
  28. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    hahaha you are a sick fuck.
     
  29. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    :D
     
  30. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    can't say i fault you for it.
    it seems that the longer you spend on this site the worst you become.