How do you open beers in your cuntry?

Discussion in 'Food, Drugs & Alcohol' started by scumhook, Mar 23, 2012.

  1. Wraffles

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    Girlvinyl

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    I'd never seen it before until then.
     
  2. haeByung

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    Et Canem Comedent

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    This is just brilliant :eek:
     
  3. lazy

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    There's an old rusty pocket knife near my keyboard.
     
  4. Barrabas

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    Girlvinyl

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    Who uses bottles, and who opens things the way they're supposed to? There's one way to drink pisswater beer:
    Shotgun.
     
  5. Maysam

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    Don't mind the shitty presentation.
     
  6. beef joint

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    I open beer bottles with my anus
     
  7. scumhook

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  8. wretchedgretchen

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    With a corkscrew
     
  9. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    With the edge of the Formica counter. Or a belt buckle if I'm wearing my fancy going out digs.
     
  10. wretchedgretchen

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    You gotta get the perfect drawer handles for your kitchen drawers then you have plenty of bottle openers.

    I've actually used shitload of stuff to open beers. Anything that you can lever like a lighter works fine. A few of the things I've used:

    • Screwdrivers
    • Pliers
    • Nails
    • Rocks
    • Other beer bottles
    • Sticks
    • Nokia phones
    • Fence posts (for the counter edge trick radha mentioned, put cap on the edge and bop it with your fist)
    • Car bumpers (see above)
    • Forks
    • Spoons
    • Butter knives
    • Basically anything relatively square with an edge
    • My dick
    • I've used a screw and pair of pliers to open many bottles of wine
    I'm a fucking alcoholic :(
     
    #40 wretchedgretchen, Mar 12, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2018
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  11. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    Hemostats and a Philips head.

    I am not an Alkie. My dog tore apart the corkscrew (don't ask) and my multitool was out in the shed in my tackle box. And there was a foot of snow btwn us.
     
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  12. moogshroom

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    #42 moogshroom, Mar 19, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2018
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  13. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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    Opener-1.
     
  14. Lovecraft

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    Why open bottles when you can just fill your glass from the beer tap like a civilized person?
     
  15. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    Because I am not a civilized person.

    Now excuse me while I go club something for dindins.
     
  16. kurisu

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    I use my teeth to open up beer cans

    and a knife or a lighter to open up bottles

    I guess most people here open beer bottles up with a big knife. No more opening them with the edge of the table anymore, no siree-bob
     
  17. Phelan

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    Usually with one of my wrists or a very tight asshole