How do you open beers in your cuntry?

Discussion in 'Food, Drugs & Alcohol' started by scumhook, Mar 23, 2012.

  1. scumhook

    scumhook
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    This is how we do it in Oz. In the interests of "hands across the waters", please share your local customs.

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. Baya Gay 56.k

    Baya Gay 56.k
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    Dramacrat

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    You know how we do in Perth
    SUCK IT
    .......OFF.......
     
  3. Baya Rae 4900

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    Lawlman

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    We have these appliances called women that open it for us.
     
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  4. ge5undhe17

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    [​IMG]

    crowbar
     
  5. Flu

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    I'm not answering the question posed by this thread because i'm a rebel and i've got a chip on my shoulder.

    But, i would like to add that British Columbia's own beer, Kokanee, renowned for its cold, glacier fed water that gives it its unmistakable fresh taste, contains - somewhere - the body of our most famous Prime minister, Pierre Trudeau's dead son, Michel Trudeau, who did in an avalanche in Kokanee park, where the water comes from. His body was never found. I assume it's frozen, sunk to the bottom of the icy reservoir, giving Kokanee beer that uniquely distinct, famous taste.

    Seriously - how many other beers the world over can boast to claim remnants of a dead famous son? ONLY ONE. British Columbia's own beer. Beer drinking in Canada just got more intense. Look out, stupid yankee puffs. You can't handle us.
     
  6. h00t

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    bite the top off and pour it straight from the stoat

    [​IMG]
     
  7. Andria Kilgore

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    In Murrica, beer comes with a screw top like most hard liquor does. Some of it, I get open with a Swiss Army knife.
     
  8. Regi

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    beer?try absinthe faggot
     
  9. Helix

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    In Finland we stick a nail into a low part of the ceiling (solid wood only) with about half a centimeter or so of space between the surface and the head of the nail, so you can use it to pop caps off. Its very important to have at least one in each building.
     
  10. skylerconcarne

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    I don't always drink beer.

    But when I do I bite the top off.
     
  11. Lyle

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    I want beer to come in those lil juice boxes with that flimsy straw that breaks half the time when you try to punch it through that lil foil-covered hole. :meow:


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    If they can do it for vodka, they can do it for beer damnit!
     
  12. Solution

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  13. Lyle

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    I should get several of these and place KFC on thems. Got a bit of a pest problem.
     
  14. Regi

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  15. Helix

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    You're just jelly of our guns and rampant alcoholism.
     
  16. Unused names suck

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    Ediot

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    Dude, you're failing at this one, Finland is pretty niggerfree. Oh, I almost forgot about all those faggots. You won.
     
  17. Ronny

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    some of my cool friends use their teeth to open beers, dunno how they do
     
  18. HeliosOne

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    I can open them with a lighter
    and @Ronny your friends are retarded
     
  19. Ronny

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    Girlvinyl

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    even my 3yo granddaughter can open beers with a lighter, my coolest friends use their teeth and they get all the bitchesssss doing so
     
  20. SomeIdiot

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    i bought the glass bottle of this once bcuz its discrete and i wanted to drink it in a movie theatre

    it tasted horrible


     
  21. $$Trooper

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    This is how it gets done in the NT.
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  22. Stephen

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    I use a glass cutter to cut out the fat part on the bottom, hold the neck, and drink it like a glass.
     
  23. TheBrickBalls

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    Much like a badger with his tail at the dam, I take my penis and thwap it on the cap to test for structural integrity - where I can find weak points. Upon discovery of a weak point, I take the meat of my dick and thwap harder, faster, with more precision every time until the cap loosens off the top and I can just pick it up with my hands.
     
  24. Lou 500

    Lou 500
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    How many times have you sliced up your mouth?
     
  25. Fingerdawg

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    I bash the bottle into my skull till the glass shatters and beer is all over the counter and floor, I then slurp it up like a real man
     
  26. aidscake

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    Also true of QLD after 2am
     
  27. Wraffles

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    South African fellow taught me how to open a beer bottle with a beer bottle, then open the closed beer bottle with the open beer bottle. South African whites are like booze wizards.
     
  28. feminist jazz hands

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    Moral Highlander

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    since we're drinking nearly all the time, with basically everything at hand. if you are using someone as a bottle opener, that means you respect him as a functioning member of our ancient-descendant society and want to further promote and establish his purposeful persona within your ranks..
    :picard:
    Of course we're special snowflakes and we're keeping some old school stuff:
    [​IMG]
    but it's not that bad. why closing the bottle you may ask? so it wouldn't get warm and disgusting. But it's more and more disgusting each year anyway - they're also selling it in plastic bottles, so it looks like jenkem, and i bet it even tastes like jenkem. :D Anyway, cheers, motherfuckers.
    [​IMG][​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  29. FlamingTofuSquare

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  30. Likeicare

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    thats actually quite easy