Hindsight - I am Gay

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by lulzyer, Nov 25, 2011.

  1. lulzyer

    lulzyer
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    Attorney at lol

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    When i was in 9th grade, i sat next to this girl in my english class named Erin. She was pretty annoying, but she had a crush on me - that's ok. I was a late bloomer in life - when i was 15, i was still about 5'3, 90 pounds, and looked like i was 12. Erin lived about a block away.

    So, Friday night, 1997 - I am sitting in my room at 7:58, patiently waiting for my favorite TV show of all time to start - The X Files. Suddenly, a knock comes from my door. My mom says "There is about 15 girls at the door, asking for you".

    Now, keep in mind - The X Files was about to start. I go to the front door. Sure enough, there is about 15 girls in the front yard and Erin is leading then. Apparently, she had a sleep over and they all decided to walk to my house and say hi. Erin asks "So, what are you doing?" I said "Well, i am waiting for The X Files to start, so what do you guys what?" They all laughed at me and left.

    If i could go back in time, i'd tell myself to be less gay.
     
  2. Fumo161

    Fumo161
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    Faggot

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    Okay the real question is why did 15 girls come to your door just to say hi?

    If 15 girls come to my door, it's for a massive fucking orgy.

    Oh but you were 15 years old. Whatever.

    Just give up.
     
  3. TheBrickBalls

    TheBrickBalls
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    Girlvinyl

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    My gaydar doesn't go off whenever I look into your threads. You're not gay, trust me. I know a gay man when I see one. Every gay or bisexual man generally does.
     
  4. Weezus Christ

    Weezus Christ
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    i was scared shitless of girls as a teenager.
    didnt have a girlfriend until i was twenty.

    on the bright side my action figure collection is fucking huge...
     
  5. Immortal_Cake

    Immortal_Cake
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    Noice

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    I shouldn't have looked at this thread.
     
  6. Weezus Christ

    Weezus Christ
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    EDF Savior

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    dude youre in hard gay chats checking a thread called 'i am gay'

    clearly you SHOULD HAVE
     
  7. Immortal_Cake

    Immortal_Cake
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    Noice

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    You obviously didn't see what I did there.
     
  8. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    How does your wife feel about these new findings ?
     
  9. Jotne

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    Ediot

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    Man, if I had a <insert currency here> for every gay thing like this I've done... man. Hindsight inevitably leads to feeling like a gigantic faggot.
     
  10. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    Congrats on your self actualization, lulzyer. Shall I direct you to the appropriate porn site?
     
  11. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    Girlvinyl

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    Burn in hell, FAG.
     
  12. jujitsu

    jujitsu
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    Dramacrat

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    Relax motherfucker
     
  13. Edgeworth

    Edgeworth
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    It was all for the best, they would have just seen your tiny prepubescent penis, as most prepubescent penises are, laughed, and then left.

    This was the best possible outcome. You werent humiliated in front of 15 girls, and you didn't miss X Factor.
     
  14. CallMeMaggot

    CallMeMaggot
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    Girlvinyl

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    you beat me, E
     
  15. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    I remember once, as a grade 7 child, pretending to be asleep, laying next to my grade seven child friend, Kevin, in a beat up old camper on his families rural farm land, playing with his penis hole. We had both been looking at his brother's porn a scant hour before we said nothing and settled down for the night, turning off the lights and laying together in experimental silence. I rubbed the nub of my finger over his meatus, opening it a bit, slightly, and then closing it, while doing the same to my own meatus. Kevin, meanwhile, also lay there, pretending to be asleep while I opened and closed his cock-hole and squeezing its sides like a snap-dragon petal. I pressed hard on his cock-sides and felt his dong lips make kissing motions, and it opened like one of those rubber coin holders. I could feel his grade seven wang turn from peeled grape soft and moist to a sort of hot water bottle-rubber-thick as I ran finger circles over his meatus.

    Thankfully I never turned out gay and all that is now just a distant memory that still gets me hard whenever I am rubbing my own cock hole.

    [​IMG]

    Good to be straight, guys!
     
  16. Dildo Baggins

    Dildo Baggins
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    EDF Hero

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    Not gay, but clearly a basement dwelling fag. (which was kinda obvious by you being on edf2 but thats besides the point)
     
  17. gencdo

    gencdo
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    Dramacrat

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    There were probably just there to make fun of you anyway.
     
  18. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    Hey sweet-crotch, enough of this gay talk -- why not step beyond your station and come up here to the popular bed with me for awhile? Tonight only, I'm not picky - but I am picking your cunt.. to eat. Don't say no: I promise you'll never get a world-class chance like me in your life again. Squat over my face and lets chew and lick the gay away.

    BBBBRRRBBBBBBRRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBR (that's the sound my tongue makes as it juggles your wet-wet like a child and a clown in a chuck-e-cheese ball pit.) BRBRBRBRBR
     
  19. Negi Springfield

    Negi Springfield
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    O_O

    Ok I'm definately not normal.
     
  20. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    Oh? Was that your voice I heard in my head that pressed me to write the offer? Are you the spark behind the pussy buffet?
    Why aren't you normal?
     
  21. PerpetuallyAroused

    PerpetuallyAroused
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    Girlvinyl

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    Well, we are looking at this the wrong way. Yes this story does basically say that you are homosexual, but its because you were watching the x-files, not because of the girl thing.

    But yeah, I give you 2 months before you are craving cock worse than @Lucky
     
  22. Negi Springfield

    Negi Springfield
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    I don't know lol.

    I'm on EDF.