HELP BUTTHOLE

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by ExplosiveDiareah, Jul 8, 2012.

  1. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
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    Girlvinyl

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    HEY GUYS I STUCK MY FINGR IN A GURLS BUTT AND NOW I AM RLLY RLLY SCARED WILL I GET SICK FROM STICKING MY FINGER IN A GILRS BUTT? PLEASE HELP BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT 2 DO BECUZ I NEVER STUK FINGUR IN AN GIRLS BUTTHOLE B4
    SHOULD I SEE A DOCTOR

    [​IMG]
     
  2. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
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    Girlvinyl

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    @Flu @Atomic_Joe @Magnum @Bottom Feeder where are you? I NEED ADVICE WAT DO I DO IF I STIKED MY FINGER IN GRILS BUTT? I THINK I MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTLY CHEWED MY FINGER NAIL AFTERWARD OUT OF HABIT AND I AM WORRIED I MIGHT GET SICK OR CATCH SOMETHING WAT DO?
     
  3. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    You would already feel some of the symptoms of an E.coli infection, like your username.
     
  4. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
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    Girlvinyl

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    I DID HAVE THAT i had an attack in the shower, this mushy watery stool like the one from the English stool chart, with bits of the soft slathers with roughed edges CAME OUT IT STANK.
     
  5. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Likeicares Bitch

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    [​IMG]

    good tiems
     
  6. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    Girlvinyl

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    CHUG A TUN O ANTIDIAREEAL STIK A CORK UP YR ASSHOLE AND TAPE YER ASS SHUT
     
  7. Flu

    Flu
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    @ExplosiveDiareah

    Don't panic. You're supposed to be a man, not a little bitch.

    Second, revel in your victory. Sticking a finger in a girl's pooper with her blessing is the first step down the long road, better known as the Hershey Highway. Up next is the toll bridge known as Hooping. Hope that you hoop. Once you've done circles around her anus and maybe even (if youre a man, not a bitch) tongued that thing with gusto, nibbling on your trophy finger won't seem like a thing. And finally, of course, you may find yourself pulling up to the last stop: the Cape Canaveral of septic sexuality, BROWN TOWN. Anal sex!
    With anal sex, it's not uncommon to pull your rudder out from your special lady's behind only to discover that your pole is caked in shit - in fact, expect it. The penis, with it's arrowhead like... head... is a natural shit scoop in shape. Pulling out, the space behind your head acts as an unfortunate spork of sorts, taking with it a dickload of spunk and shit.

    Now, this might seem really gross, and I guess it sort of is - BUT DON'T PANIC! Instead, take it slow, be a gentleman, and learn from my mistake...

    When I first fucked a chick in the ass and pulled out, only to discover a wad of greenish shit caked on my little rudder, my first thought was "oh sick!" followed by the gentlemanly notion that a) I don't want to embarrass the girl because she was good enough to suffer an ass pounding all so I might thoroughly enjoy myself and b) I wanted to do it again in the near future, so, like a blind fool, I secretly wiped my cock off... on her bedsheets.
    On the one hand, it was cool because she never knew just how much poo had been raked from her ass. On the other hand, she kind of found out the moment we settled down to sleep that night when she hiked the blanket up to, say, nose level and was greeted by what you might describe as a thicker than usual skid mark... At least it was her own poo, I tried to convince her so she wouldn't feel bad. It didn't work.

    Anyway, this has all been a lot of reading for you, I'm sure- all just to answer your one piddly, virginal little question. But like a kind father or perhaps a creepy Boy Scout Master, I am investing in your future success. You're off to a good start. I believe that you can make it to Brown Town. Ask yourself, "what's a little bit of poo for a lot of pleasure?"
    I've tongued chick's asses before and there was for sure a "zesty" sort of Doritos tinge to the starfish, but you know what? I kept on doing it. Perseverance, man: with each successive lick, the taste went away; her bum got cleaner, until that thing was juuuust right. So, you see.. I might have drank several glasses of water later on that night, and gargled a few also - but I never got sick. What I did get was the chance to shoot a wad right up that girl's ass one short week later. And that's worth eating "leftovers" for.
     
  8. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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  9. Flu

    Flu
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    Thank you, Thank you.

    As I have recently discovered, you are a girl. So your praise means something to me.

    In case I didn't make it quite clear already, I respect a lady who is into anal. Unless she's been trained and actually starts to enjoy it, letting a man - a creepy man, always, because he wants to penetrate your ass one moment, making fucking sick Japanese sounds like...

    "it'sok, it'sok, it'sok AWW YEA DOES IT HURT>?? HAHHA YEAAA itsok,itsok,itsok..."

    ...then, when it's over, he maybe wants to rub your back and snuggle - letting these dirtballs get away with that solely for their own pleasure is so generous that it makes God answering prayers seem like an old miser. You gotta treat that lady right: hide the poo, don't make sounds or faces, wash your prong off discreetly, and so forth. Because she's worth it.
     
  10. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    so classy...
    i commend your gentlemanly behavior in the sack, @Flu
    :lulzsec:
     
  11. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    I'm also into watersports.
     
  12. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    ExplosiveDiarhea, don't include me in your retarded beefrave impersonation threads. It makes me feel like I need a shower to wash off the autism and BBW sweat.
     
  13. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
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    Girlvinyl

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    You're gonna die of E.Coli