HAROLD CAMPING IN CUSTODY AFTER ATTACKING PLANKERS HE MISTOOK FOR SAVED SOULS!

Discussion in 'News' started by KoalaRimjob, Oct 21, 2011.

  1. KoalaRimjob

    KoalaRimjob
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    SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (Bennington Vale Evening Transcript) -- Representatives of Family Stations issued a public apology Friday evening to the families of eight college students after admitting that an embarrassed and disgruntled Harold Camping attacked them with his cane in Golden Gate Park. Although the precise details of the assault remain sketchy, authorities claim that Camping had requested to be taken to the area to assess the Lord’s loving and merciful slaughter of sinners, as well as His progress in sucking the souls of the pious back to Heaven.

    “What Mr. Camping found,” one officer on scene described, “was a group of over 20 college students face down on the lawn. He must have believed that his rapture had begun. When he realized that he’d happened upon an elaborate display of planking, he just went nuts. At this time, we are placing Mr. Camping on a 72-hour mental health hold. None of the students were seriously injured, and no one’s pressing any charges at this time.”
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    http://www.benningtonvalepress.com/2011/10/harold-camping-in-custody-after.html
    Thank you Harold Camping, Thank you for making your religion a worldwide laughingstock :awesome:
     
  2. Chainsaw surgeon

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    EDF's anal hookworm

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    Dumb plankers deserved it.
     
  3. m450n_yuno

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    Planking actually did something worth mentioning. . .And I thought I'd seen it all.
     
  4. ChristianWarrior94

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    Emissary of Christ

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    Typical atheist.
     
  5. KoalaRimjob

    KoalaRimjob
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    Fuck Your God:trollface:
     
  6. Sublime

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    Everyone's Favorite Evil Bitch

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    LOL. That would have been hilarious to see. Plankers getting caned, Camping getting arrested, it must have been a great sight!
     
  7. Rock

    Rock
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    Girlvinyl

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    finally I give a shit about planking
     
  8. PJAMA

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    I would have loved to see Camping go berserk.
     
  9. beefrave

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  10. Tom

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    Oh yeah the rapture was supposedly gonna happen today. Camping is a fucktard
     
  11. Khanzer

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    Lolololol, good that we don't have that type of retards in my city.
     
  12. Esther Nguyen

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    azn attention whore

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    That fucking nutjobs ddesrvs 2 fucking be put in a metal asylum. Hes batshit insane. there will never evar be a rapture. not even in a million years
     
  13. 1H4T3NUMB3R5

    1H4T3NUMB3R5
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    Well, scientists will be able to predict the apocalypse when the sun is close to exploding.
    So yea, another thing science can do that religion can't, predict the end of earth.
     
  14. Rock

    Rock
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    Those people that believed him STILL aren't going to get a fucking refund
    ah the "universe tends to work itself out" indeed:hobbes:
     
  15. beefrave

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  16. ExplosiveDiareah

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    Girlvinyl

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    Fuck your ape daddy!
    Stupid faggot! Just because you read that shit in a book doesn't make it true!
     
  17. beefrave

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  18. ExplosiveDiareah

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    GTFO!! You're supposed to be DEAD
     
  19. Lloyd

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    The thread headline seriously made me laugh. What's next, Camping shooting window-cleaners when he realizes they are not actually ascending to heaven on that lift?
    Paranormal Activity...
     
  20. ExplosiveDiareah

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    Paranormal activity poo's on atheists.
     
  21. PerfectlyNormal

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    People are still doing planking? Did they twitter and tumblr the incident, too?

    At least something good came out if it, an old man was put on mental health hold and will hopeful hate the youth.
     
  22. CallMeMaggot

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    Girlvinyl

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    Hurtbutts?
     
  23. Sublime

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    Literal butthurt, lol.
     
  24. ExplosiveDiareah

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    Girlvinyl

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    Where's the rapture?

    Liberal butthurt.
     
  25. 1H4T3NUMB3R5

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    Well...we do have actual photo-proof that it happens.
    Just to show how long it took me to realize the hidden joke in there, I kept my initial response.
     
  26. ExplosiveDiareah

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    We know the sun is gonna go someday, and why, but we do not know when.

    5billion years is just a big lazy estimate with a large margin of error.
    Which is why it is an estimate, so in essence, scientists will never know how long the sun has, as they csnnot account for every single particle and it's rate of nuclear fusion, only God would be able to determine that.
    And when the sun does go, it will literally be like a ball of fire that engulfs the earth, as foretold in the bible.

    Clear?

    This will piss of CW94 and our resident dawkindarwin dick.