Hard Gay TV

Discussion in 'Music, Movies & Media' started by Bernd, Aug 26, 2011.

  1. Bernd

    Bernd
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    Ediot

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    Todays Programming Schedule

    06:00 Good Morning EDF
    Morning TV. Your host Brian Zaiger talks about a myriad of generally uninteresting and mundane subjects while you make your coffee

    09:30 How to cook your Furry
    Join Exploding Piglets for EDFs prime cooking show as he discusses his favourite recipes for cooking all manner of anthropomorphic creatures.

    10:00 The Business Show
    HKH shows how much of a Queen Jew she is by discussing the world economy so that you silly Goyim think you are making sound investments, when really she's just pulling the strings.
    Features a guest interview with successful businessman and CEO Jihad.

    11.30 The Dudes Odyssey (TV movie)
    In Patroclus Rex's directing debut our hapless hero, The Dude, goes in search of the legendary golden post after being told of it's whereabouts by a mysterious brony. Features scenes of mild peril. 4/10 see "The Week in Film"

    13:30 Songs of Praise.
    Hosted by David, features a small boy trying to sing Hymns as a crowd of Autistic mutants throw large rocks at him in EDF's flagship game show.

    14:30 The Beard Hour.
    Beauty show. Discussion of facial hair with Thayo and Beefrave, somewhat tangential.

    15:30 Negima makeover show.
    Reality TV. This week Atomic Joe takes hapless socially inept Negi Springfield and tries to turn him into a functional human being by threatening him with large caliber firearms and whiskey. Some disturbing scenes, including a virgin fucking a jar of Mayonnaise. Guest appearances by Truth Illusion.

    16:30 A party Election Broadcast by Doakes.
    Doakes makes another attempt to capture the imagination of audiences world wide in this years Moderator Election campaigns.

    17:00 Country-File Wales
    Weekly show covering the domestic issues of the welsh countryside. For example, in the past 5 years sheep theft has risen dramatically. Host Gencdo spends this episode finding out just why people are after her Welsh rarebit, including a spectacular interview with Perpa.

    17:30 Hard Reads, Harder chats.
    Prolific forum-based author Flu reviews a variety of high end literature in the form of a televised IRC conversation. Viewers are advised to take notes and have a high tolerance for meaningless twaddle.

    18:00 6 o'clock news
    Your Sysops give deal with topical current issues, anchored by Garrett and Meepsheep. This weeks special feature involves an interview with Doctor Rice on the plight of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip, and how he can turn of street lights with his mind and is the Avatar of an obscure eastern God.

    19:00 DocEvil P.I.
    B rate cop show (repeat from 1987). DocEvil tries to track down the insidious furry threat known as Sekushi with help from his mole on the inside, EmilyPlays. Classic fun for all the family.

    20:00 Extraordinary people - The Autistic Twink
    Documentary. A group of Swedish Film-makers with oddly square heads follow the harrowing story of a boy named "Super Special Super Star" in this inspiring film dealing with overcoming adversity. Heartfelt.

    21:00 Beef and Syrups Excellent Adventure (movie)
    In the style of 90's stoner movies, a pair of Metalheads find themselves in control of a small internet forum, however all is not as it seems. Following a guitar Duel, Beefcake must travel to the depths of Wallonia to recover his dignity. Featuring Blazing solo's, beautifully choreographed action scenes and deep homo-erotic undertones. (see best films of the week.).

    11:00 Tell me about your cat
    Re-run of the classic EDF hidden camera comedy series, in which hipcrime ambushes unsuspecting members of the Public and forces them to either reveal their genitalia or pussys.

    12:00 Malibu by Moonlight (Erotic Thriller)
    2011, Kale, Cash and Elixir become involved in a convoluted love triangle. Scenes for Adults only, full frontal nudity and anal insertion.

    02:00 Let me tell you about your country
    Australian late night talk show in which delusional host Snorlax Rae rants about topics ranging from how his homosexuality affects tea exports in China to the underlying instabilities of the American Economy. Eccentric.

    03:00 Tales from the Abyss
    Collection of horror short stories by Trevor "Wheezus" Christ. Deeply disturbing.

    03:45 Good Times Club
    Informational broadcast in which a camera is placed on a flesh-eating grub. Every week the grub is placed on an unsuspecting Forum Member to show what flesh-eating looks like from a grub's perspective. Produced by documentary film maker TwoStar. Subtitled and Signed.

    04:00 Pages from Four Chan.
    Closedown Programming.

    The executives of the Hardy Gay TV channel are always interested in discovering new talent, please feel free to mail us with any suggestions of new shows we might wish to produce, and why you think they would appeal to our target audience.

    (P.S, if your name isn't on this post, you're pretty much a non-poster)
     
  2. Patroclus Rex

    Patroclus Rex
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    EDF Hero

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    What the hell, how did my movie even make it past the censors, let alone midday programming?
     
  3. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    Clearly all this shit is basic cable, since my name isn't plastered all over it. That's cool that you're hosting a cable access party, but expect ratings to tank. My shit's big time -- you gotta pay-per-view. It's solid, 24/7 programming - the kind your kid waits until you're out of the house to turn on. Forget HBO - FLU has big names, a bigger budget, and unlike your CRUMTV, channel 69 FLU is commercial free and owns 7 deadly satellites.
     
  4. Patroclus Rex

    Patroclus Rex
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    EDF Hero

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    Cable? You crazy yanks.
     
  5. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    They're on cable. Channel 69 F.L.U is beamed direct from deep space from 7 deadly satellites and produced on a space station carved from solid gold: 'Mammon's Throne.'

    And, I'm Canadian.
     
  6. Immortal_Cake

    Immortal_Cake
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    Noice

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    For EDF ver 1.0 and 2.0

    Disregard this version, 2.5
     
  7. Bernd

    Bernd
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    Ediot

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    You're just jealous because you're a non-poster and thus worthless.
     
  8. Immortal_Cake

    Immortal_Cake
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    Noice

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  9. Lucky

    Lucky
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    [​IMG]
     
  10. TwoStar

    TwoStar
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    EDF Hero

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    Good Times Club- A documentary in which a camera is placed on a flesh-eating grub and the grub is placed on an unsuspecting animal to show what flesh-eating looks like from a grub's perspective. Played at random times throughout the schedule, sometimes interrupting other shows. For viewers with steel stomachs only.
     
  11. TheForRealDeal

    TheForRealDeal
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    Girlvinyl

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    That gif made me sicker than the movie
     
  12. Bernd

    Bernd
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    Ediot

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    Welcome on board our premium programming schedule.
     
  13. Edgeworth

    Edgeworth
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    Systems Administrator

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    I want a show :eek:
     
  14. Dynamic Entry

    Dynamic Entry
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    EDF Elite

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    Edgeworth E. Euler VS. The World
     
  15. TwoStar

    TwoStar
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    EDF Hero

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    Do what I did for a slot and make something up.
     
  16. Garrett

    Garrett
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    DMCA Dumpster

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    This is quality post.
     
  17. Flu

    Flu
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    SUDDENLY, THE CHANNEL WAS LOST.
    [​IMG]
     
  18. Beefcake

    Beefcake
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    Best-selling author

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    This truly is quality post.
     
  19. SuperSpecialSuperStar

    SuperSpecialSuperStar
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    2011 Faggot of the Year

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    This is the best thread on EDF.

    But I'm not Autisdick! Well, my brother is.
     
  20. rst8

    rst8
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    >non poster
    >biggest postcount on EDF
     
  21. Bernd

    Bernd
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    Ediot

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    I'm sorry you just have't done anything note worthy.

    Please direct any complaints about the program selection process to our executive, mr.Bernd.
     
  22. m450n_yuno

    m450n_yuno
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  23. SuperSpecialSuperStar

    SuperSpecialSuperStar
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    2011 Faggot of the Year

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    get out
     
  24. m450n_yuno

    m450n_yuno
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    EDF Hero

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    Quit being a faggot and suck a dick.
     
  25. rst8

    rst8
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    i faked suicide
    i am zaiger
    i caused negi to post more penis pics
    i am the cool guy that everyone likes and wants to be
     
  26. Emily

    Emily
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    BANNED LOL

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    When will this be aired worldwide?
     
  27. Bernd

    Bernd
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    Ediot

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    I'm sorry, nothing there makes you particularly attractive to me. Even TwoStar could come up with better posts than that.

    You're just a non-poster, let's face it. You're not a big deal, I'm sorry to break it to you.
     
  28. rst8

    rst8
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    EDF Elite

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    you want to go mustache man?
     
  29. Harpoons

    Harpoons
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    Fissure of Man

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  30. Emily

    Emily
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    BANNED LOL

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    Why am I not on this show?
    I see that I have a minor role, but I deserve my own Makeover show.