Happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas a cautionary tale

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by madh8r, Dec 25, 2011.

  1. madh8r

    madh8r
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    Christfags sure have been getting brave recently. I went to target two days ago for some hannukah shopping, where I had to listen to "oh holy night". I got some gold, some blood diamonds, some oil to fill our pores with, and some driedels. I really did have driedels though. I go to buy my shit and some hundred pound blond haired blue eyed bitchboy cashier looks me right in the fucking eye and says "Merry Christmas!". My friend is working in Starbucks at the target at the time, and he has a good view of the cashier. So I look at the line behind me, and I look at the hitler youth in front of me, and I said "Is that a fucking joke?".

    I didn't scream it, I didn't hold him down on the floor and bellow like a neanderthal, I just said it. I was buying fucking driedels and he wishes me a merry christmas two days before christmas, I thought it was a stupid joke. So Duetsche boy leans into his little microphone and says "karen to line six" and then looks down into his lap pretneding to do something. I was all rung up, he ahd customers waiting in line, and hes just sitting there. I said what does that mean, I don't want to see karen. He literally ignored me while he pretended to do shit in his lap. At this point people in my line were getting agitated, but I had a point that I wanted to make.

    So from behind me, I hear who I assume is going to be Karen. It wasn't Karen, it was an old nigger security guard. The dude was very polite, he said "excuse me sir, I have to ask you to leave the store, you're upsetting the customers". I fucking lost it. I yelled at almost the top of my lungs "get your fucking hands off me!". To be fair, he wasn't touching me. I walked out of the store backwards with my hands up, like I'm touchy and really defensive, screaming "get your hands off me don't fucking touch me!". The last thing I said was "fuck target".

    So my friend, working in starbucks witnessing this, just left about a half hour ago but before he did he said "Merry Christmas!" and he went white. He says oh my bad I didn't mean to offend you! I said I'm not offended BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING CHRISTMAS. fuck
     
  2. Beefcake

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    Happy winter solstice.
     
  3. KoalaRimjob

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    I say happy holidays because it offends christfags to have their delusions on par with every other religious holiday
     
  4. Weezus Christ

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    as a very devout satanist this story offends me.
     
  5. Atomic_Joe

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    Y'know as a Satan Worshipper, I find it bery hard to shop in the holiday season without bein hassled by douchey Christmas monkies. That's why I like Wal-Mart. Their Anti-Christian values and cold, unfriendly demeanor really make shopping a pleasure. Wal-Mart is so good at helping you forget it's the holiday season, you'll cry blood.

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Murdoc esp

    Murdoc esp
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    soy un vago de mierda....
    thats why the stores changed a long time ago the slogan of "Merry Christmas", for "Happy holidays" because stupid people cry and get upset for two stupid words...for fuck sake if you dont wanna get the holidays on you....dont fucking go out nigga
     
  7. The Doctor

    The Doctor
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    Merry fucking Christmas. Faggot.
     
  8. Flu

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    No longer a night manager, I have been kicked down, back to cashier - so as I worked as a chasier, to each person who came through my till I wished a Merry Christmas! After each customer went through my line, they stopped just short at the end of my till and took a position near, behind me. As each new customer came through my till, I again wished them a Merry Christmas - as did all those lined up at the end of my till. We all wished a merry christmas, together, as of one voice. Customer after ustomer took their place behind me, until our voices, entwined, raised high like a raging crescendo and shook the glass doors of the store until at last the senors lit up and the doors swung open and our voices echoed down the street as a rush of sonic waves and up into everybodies butts the joy of the season, in the lord's true name, whirled around inside them and each person shit a yule log and jew-christmas was cancelled. I stopped short of my last Merry Christma-- and pulled out a revolver, took aim at a gingerbread display, and blew the mother fucking roof right off a gingerbread house. The people were naked inside. I seized the brother and the sister cookie people inside and crushed them together in my fist. I opened my hand and they fell out, mashed into an incestious ONE. "Oh," I thought, "the Lord is fickle. The blessings are strange this time of year." Then the people standing behind me, now silent, each turned to smoke and climb4d, one by one, into the chamber of my gun. I took aim at a passderby walking his sweater wearing dog and I pulled back the trigger and let the hammer drop. From the barrel of my cannon out each man popped as a bullet from my gun - swirling spectral ghost bullets, they screamed like souls fresh to hell, and the man walking his dog was over come with Christmas Spirit. Then I turned the gun around, onto myself. I blew a red santa shaped hat cone of blood from my skull. The stores closed early that day so the investigators could start from puzzle piece #1.
     
  9. madh8r

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    Fantastic. PL;RE. That's perfect length; read everything