God molested Jesus

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by Chainsaw surgeon, Sep 11, 2011.

  1. Chainsaw surgeon

    Chainsaw surgeon
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    EDF's anal hookworm

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    I spoke to the almighty God himself using a secret program of mine.
    I asked him if he ever molested his son Jesus, and look at his answer
    [​IMG]
    He says he forgot, but he's totally just covering his secrets up.
     
  2. CallMeMaggot

    CallMeMaggot
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    Girlvinyl

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    Did He himself turn into that fucking holy dove to impregnate Mary in a surprise dive?

    Zeus did it to shag a princess, but turned into a swan instead, way more classy
     
  3. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    No, God didn't molest Jesus. Jesus is a confused little boy. He doesn't understand what happened and psychiatrists are putting shit into his head.
     
  4. Andria Kilgore

    Andria Kilgore
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    Girlvinyl

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    I'm glad I'm an agnostic Darwinist, otherwise I would have to an hero for believing that a pedophile created the universe...
     
  5. Regi

    Regi
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    i dont know whether you are an idiot or mentally retarded
     
  6. Chainsaw surgeon

    Chainsaw surgeon
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    i am the future holy pope because i know how to communicate with god
     
  7. The_Magic_Finger

    The_Magic_Finger
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    Dramacrat

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    So God could molest his son but he made Mary virgin!?
     
  8. ilovejesus69

    ilovejesus69
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    Crisis Actor

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    Rap is for criminals.
     
  9. Regi

    Regi
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    then i assume you are schizoprenic paranoid
     
  10. Chainsaw surgeon

    Chainsaw surgeon
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    EDF's anal hookworm

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    Nah.
    The thing is this is the real God, not the fake one you dirty Jews believe in.
     
  11. Regi

    Regi
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    ha,who is your real god?cthulhu?i'd rather be a muslim or buddhist than worship a squid pathetic jerk
     
  12. Seku

    Seku
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    God had sex with Jesus, and they had a son named Mary.
     
  13. CallMeMaggot

    CallMeMaggot
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    Girlvinyl

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    First God fucked the donkey in the manger, and he started to miraculously shoot little shepperds like crazy, to gather a good crowd for adoration purpouses

    Way to go for PR