Ghost Rider: The Spirits Within

Discussion in 'Music, Movies & Media' started by Tan, Mar 3, 2012.

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  1. Tan

    Tan
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    Ediot

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    *** Spoilers: Nick Cage is Flaming Faggot***

    As we all know Nick Cage (IRL Nicolas Kim Coppola) plays himself in every movie. This requires no acting skill whatsoever, just be your jagg-off jerk-face self. This is not a rarity, but is actually very common in Hollywierd (i.e. Keanu Reeves, Mel Gibson). It’s called typecasting.

    Unlike the previous failures mentioned above, some Actors are actually good for typecasting (i.e. Denzel Washington, Bruce Willis) King Coopola isn’t one of them. Instead he plays a snarky know it all asshole you just want to punch in the face.

    The only reason why some of his movies were hits because they had great supporting Actors like Sean Connery (the Rock), Gone in 60 Seconds (Jolie, Duvall). Recently however, the Coopola Trooper has struck out big. Here is a list of his recent shit pieces:

    2007 – National Treasure: The Never Ending Story 2

    2008 - Banging Cocks Dangerous

    2009 – Know Nothing

    2009 – Some Movie about talking Hamsters – G-Spot or some shit

    2009 – Astro Boy (actual title)

    2009 – Bad Movie: GTFO of the theater

    2010 – Lick-Ass

    2010 – The Sorcerer’s Gay Apprentice

    2011 – Season of Which Nick Cage movie Sucks the Most Ass

    2011 – Drive Angry, away from the theater from watching this shit

    2011 - Trap-pass

    2011 – Seeking [Great] Justice

    And now you can add this shit piece to his filmography:

    2012 – Ghost Rider: The Spirits Within

    PLOT: None. Seriously, not really a prerequisite in this day and age, but if you think this is a sequel, you are disappoint. This has a new background in a pathetic attempt to “get closer” to the comic.

    I’m all for reboots (Compare Punisher: War Zone with the filth before it, or Star Trek) when they HAVE A NEW ACTOR.

    CGI: Horrendous, almost as bad as X-Men Origins.

    ACTING: None. Are you fucking kidding me? It’s a Nick Cage movie.

    TL; DR – This movie blows, bad camera angles and bad acting. It did surprise me in one area; it managed to do the unthinkable: deliver a plot even shittier than the last Ghost Rider. Of course, the real reason why Coppola Jr. is doing these movies is to rack up money because his manager ripped him off. But what’s interesting is that this guy, who changed his name to “Cage” to avoid favoritism from being a Coppola, keeps getting acting jobs for that very reason – famous Uncle. He wouldn’t be able to get a job as a dish washer anyway else.

    Anyway, here is my list of Best/Worst Reboots, in no particular order, please add your own I may have left out:

    Best:
    Punisher War Zone

    Casino Royal (New James Bond Movies)

    Batman Begins/Dark Knight

    Halloween

    Star Trek (The New One)

    Worst:
    Clash of the Titans

    Incredible Hulk

    Nightmare on Elm Street

    Superman Returns
     
  2. Bottom Feeder

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    Likeicares Bitch

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    His "hair" creeps the hell out of me.



    Also



    How'd it get burned , how'd it get burned!!?
     
  3. Tan

    Tan
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    Ediot

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    lol. Probably a wig/dead animal on his head.

    BTW, is it wrong to fap to this:

     
  4. Bottom Feeder

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    Likeicares Bitch

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    OP, how could you forget The Wicker Man (2006)? that's just Oscar gold right there.

    Planet of the Apes (2001), Mark Wahlberg's acting level is that of an ape, maybe that's why they casted him.

    Almost every Americanization of asian horror movies, they trade the horror for obscene amounts of cheese and subpar acting.

    Last house on the left (2009) & I spit on your grave (2010): completely missed the point of their originals and so, they're pointless, just mindless torture porn and cheap horror due to shock value.

    The day the Earth stood still (2008): they sold it as this big apocalyptic movie when in reality it was 2 hour dialogue between a black kid and Keanu Reeves'(trying to act human, lol), cringe worthy acting as always.
     
  5. Tan

    Tan
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    Ediot

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    If you mean miss the Wicker Man as far as naming Nick Cage's movies - I only went up to 2007.

    If you mean as far as shitty remakes - that would imply that the original Wicker Man was any good. They're both fundamentally retarded.

    I agree with your other movies, totally forgot about the day the earth stood still, but never saw the original on that one. Reeves/Walburg rivals Cage as worst "A-list" Actor.
     
  6. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    you can't make this shit up