Getting Negi in trouble by having Cybersex with him.

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by The Lieutenant, Nov 2, 2013.

  1. The Lieutenant

    The Lieutenant
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    Aug 29, 2011
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    The Lieutenant
    I'm not sure how to do an introduction for this, so I'll just leave it here, and let you make of it what you will.

    <The_Lieutenant> It's been like 2 years since we had a cyber-orgy in here.
    <HardEskimoPenis> 8 ksfdkl
    <HardEskimoPenis> 13 osef
    <The_Lieutenant> my sentiments exactly
    <HardEskimoPenis> owiges
    <HardEskimoPenis> this is liberating
    <The_Lieutenant> DOOP
    <Jaques> \dh\de\dl\dl\do
    <Jaques> \dh\de\dl\dl\do
    <Jaques> \dh\de\dl\dl\do
    <Jaques> \dh\de\dl\dl\do
    <Jaques> \dh\de\dl\dl\do
    <Jaques> \dh\de\dl\dl\do
    <The_Lieutenant> CYBER ORGY
    <enig> UNHUNHUNH
    <enig> ORGASM SPASM
    <enig> OHHHYESH
    * The_Lieutenant strips down to his boxers, prepared to utilize his Neo-Nazi-in-Denial dick to its fullest capacity.
    * Noble (~opera@wtfux-402FC091.hr.hr.cox.net) has joined #ed
    <The_Lieutenant> Oh...
    <The_Lieutenant> hi Noble. You're just in time
    <Noble> i told you i could lieutenant
    <Noble> '<
    <enig> We are having gay nazi text sex 2x
    <enig> Join in
    <The_Lieutenant> The correct term, enig
    <The_Lieutenant> is neo-nazi-in-denial
    * The_Lieutenant dive tackles Noble
    <Noble> *slaps lieutenant around with a large trout
    <Noble> shit i cant remember how to do this
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm GOING TO AMERIFUCK YOU UNTIL YOU LIKE IT, NOBLE
    * Noble (~opera@wtfux-402FC091.hr.hr.cox.net) has left #ed
    <The_Lieutenant> d'awwwwwwwwwwwww
    * NegiSpringfield (~chatzilla@wtfux-B49C65D6.hsd1.tx.comcast.net) has joined #ed
    <enig> Can't handle the americock
    <enig> NEGI GET READY FOR DENIALNAZI TEXT SEX 5X ORGYTIME
    * The_Lieutenant dive tackles Negi
    <NegiSpringfield> hi
    <NegiSpringfield> :D
    * The_Lieutenant slides his hands down Negi's pants in a manner more invasive than sexy
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm going to airdrop my paratroopers on your island of Crete, Negi.
    <NegiSpringfield> uhm
    <The_Lieutenant> It will be a sexual blitzkrieg of unimaginable power.
    <The_Lieutenant> You could surrender, but where's the fun in that?
    <enig> I say we make Negi our temporary secretary of gay coffee trouser cleaning
    <enig> I love me some pubic java
    <The_Lieutenant> I say we gear up our trouser panzers and lay siege to his city of Tobruk.
    <NegiSpringfield> enig: I don't think I have much of a choice, do I?
    <The_Lieutenant> no
    <The_Lieutenant> no you don't.
    <enig> No free will
    <enig> Only buttblam
    <The_Lieutenant> well, no chance of success should you choose to resist.
    <The_Lieutenant> but resistance is the spice of conflict.
    <The_Lieutenant> so feel free.
    <NegiSpringfield> I'm too weak anyway
    <enig> That makes it even more sensual
    * The_Lieutenant strips down the rest of the way, revealing his high caliber battle impliment.
    <The_Lieutenant> this
    <The_Lieutenant> is the worst thing I've ever written
    <The_Lieutenant> but it's too late to turn back
    <enig> Hey now
    * enig rips his pants off to reveal his 10 inch herbelwerfer
    <enig> Don't forget the mouth is mine
    <The_Lieutenant> Negi, are you going to prepare to defend your borders, or will I have to produce a bayonet out of somewhere and cut your clothes off of you?
    <NegiSpringfield> uh
    <The_Lieutenant> if you can adopt a french accent, that would be nice, too.
    <enig> I feel his Marginot Line will be so silky smooth, so soft to the touch
    * NegiSpringfield steps out of pants and folds them, putting them in the corner
    <enig> So much fun to pound
    * NegiSpringfield just looks at the two giant dicks with horror
    <The_Lieutenant> It's not that giant. But it is imposing.
    * sm0ke (~MissingNo@71450427.7DD6C395.FBB4B905.IP) has joined #ed
    * NegiSpringfield takes off shirt and puts it on top of pants
    <BlueZek> Negi
    <BlueZek> relax yourself
    <BlueZek> not like that
    <BlueZek> thtough
    <NegiSpringfield> w-w-what
    <NegiSpringfield> I'm getting raped here
    <enig> sm0ke take your pants off, Negi is our digirape right now
    <The_Lieutenant> Bullshit, you're enjoying every e-second of it.
    <enig> He is France with no pants
    <enig> And we have the long, hard herbelwerfers
    * The_Lieutenant pushes negi over and gives his dick a cursory licking.
    * enig starts swabbing his V2 on negi's face
    <NegiSpringfield> mfsh ugh
    <sm0ke> have fun guise don't feel like it today
    <sm0ke> am p chill not turned on at all
    <LittleHitler> im naked
    * The_Lieutenant decides that the cooperation of the french government is going to require more persuasive negotiations
    * The_Lieutenant completely engulfes Negi's "embassy", making loud and provocative slurping noises.
    * enig as the government of Italy decides that southern france needs some enrichment after losing their ways
    * enig shoves his Black Shirt into negi's mouth with vigor and force
    <The_Lieutenant> lol
    * mescalito (niggers@k.f.c) has joined #ed
    * DanielBrandt gives channel half-operator status to mescalito
    <enig> mescalito negi is our digital rape slave tonight
    <enig> Take your pants off, get lube and go to town
    * HardEskimoPenis dissapointed with the incompatibility of his loosened asshole and others junk, pleasures himself with a 15 inch black dildo in the corner
    <enig> Tonight's theme is "Early WWII"
    <The_Lieutenant> It's not rape, Negi is totally hard right now.
    <NegiSpringfield> :s
    <The_Lieutenant> Unless I've been going down on a Lafette LMG he's been hiding in his pocket.
    <The_Lieutenant> but he's not wearing pants, so that can't be it.
    <enig> Negi you know you love the feelings of fascism sweeping Normandy now
    <enig> So hard and forceful upon the hedgerows
    <NegiSpringfield> I-It's teh shoah all over again
    * HardEskimoPenis nurtures the seed of baby Israel
    <enig> NO
    <enig> NO KIKES
    <enig> They are too lesbian for this gayfest
    * The_Lieutenant reaches down and fondles his panzer as he continues to "attempt to enlist cooperation" from Negi's embarassingly cooperative governmental structure.
    * BlueZek has quit (Ping timeout: 246 seconds)
    <mescalito> enig, ok
    * sm0ke has quit (client exited: Leaving)
    <The_Lieutenant> I might be overdoing it, I think I might be making an invasion too easy.
    * enig begins to pump more of his vineyard into negi's western ports, further demoralizing negi's people
    <enig> Nah, keep going, invasion is so good, so... euphoric
    <The_Lieutenant> flip him over, I want to begin this land war proper
    <NegiSpringfield> ugggggh
    * enig flips over the map of negi's france
    <enig> Ready for the land war
    <The_Lieutenant> I hope someone's saving a chat log of this
    <enig> I am
    * The_Lieutenant applies lubricant to his panzerkampfwagen to facilitate invasion, then begins to press on into Negi's southern border
    <Jaques> compusive masturbation
    * enig prepares to invade Negi's African regions in conquest of his precious oils
    * The_Lieutenant begins to "maneuver", quite easily.
    <The_Lieutenant> Yes, this invasion is going quite smoothly.
    * gecko has quit (client exited: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
    * The_Lieutenant reaches around as he maneuvers, and begins to reward Negi for his compliance.
    * enig takes over much of North Africa to the point that negi's oil output is loosening up
    <kaven_matnock> you guys suck at this
    <enig> I think he may be hitting peak oil, a benefit to the rape effort
    * BlueZek (~BlueZek@the.sacred.donglord) has joined #ed
    <The_Lieutenant> Fuck you kaven. Just for that, you get to be the Australian commonwealth forces.
    <The_Lieutenant> Now go give enig a rimjob.
    <kaven_matnock> yeahhhh
    <enig> Be happy you did not become New Zealand, kaven
    <enig> Verrrry happy
    <kaven_matnock> i wont get right on that]
    <kaven_matnock> i like new zealand
    <The_Lieutenant> hmm
    * Anwarscock (Anwar@Sedat.is.dead.and.horny) has joined #ed
    <The_Lieutenant> Jaques, are you game to be Japan?
    <NegiSpringfield> I now feel quite violated
    <kaven_matnock> the shire ill eventuly have is there somewhere
    <enig> Yeah, we need someone to "island hop" here
    <The_Lieutenant> if so, come show kaven why he doesn't want to be New Zealand.
    <kaven_matnock> didnt say i liked the people
    <kaven_matnock> just new zealand
    <The_Lieutenant> So did the Japs.
    <The_Lieutenant> anyways
    <enig> Vegemite up, cupcake
    * NegiSpringfield slips off to wash off all that semen and crap off and put clothes back on
    <enig> NegiSpringfield that is not allowed
    * enig ropes up Negi
    <NegiSpringfield> sh-
    <enig> Now YOU are New Zealand
    <NegiSpringfield> iiiiiiiiiiiit
    <enig> Vegemite up cupcake
    * The_Lieutenant speeds up his ministrations to Negi's "Governmental Structure", as he approaches his own push towards the capitol.
    <Jaques> are you guys playing irc risico?
    <Jaques> or riziko?
    <The_Lieutenant> I WASN'T DONe
    <kaven_matnock> http://www.iflscience.com/chemistry/hot-water-freezes-faster-cold-and-now-we-know-why
    * The_Lieutenant pulls Negi back down, and pounds both of them to a messy occupation
    * enig begins coastal bombardment from the Rising Sun's hot, fast warships
    <The_Lieutenant> Now we have to cuddle. Because the Fuhrer is pleased. And, given how well that occupation went, so are you, Negi.
    <The_Lieutenant> and because you can't spell Nazi without "Limp Wristed Metrosexual"
    <enig> The limp wrist adds to the adjustment of the Messerschmidt in my pants so well
    <The_Lieutenant> Want me to search your countryside for resistance elements, Negi?
    <NegiSpringfield> I guess
    <enig> I'd say to do so, I heard the underground scene is pretty tough
    <NegiSpringfield> I'm probably going to end up bleeding to death next time I take a shit :(
    * The_Lieutenant quietly worries about what will happen if someone decides to be the Soviet Union
    <The_Lieutenant> You'll be fine
    <The_Lieutenant> Just don't agree to help Greece with anything for the next 60 years.
    <notty> fuck my puzzy
    <Jaques> who here is good at blowing the cock?
    * The_Lieutenant flips negi over again, and tries to coax some new life into his... well, I'm out of fancy phrases for his dick, so I'm just going to say dick.
    <NegiSpringfield> ...
    * enig puts Negi in a wizard costume for posterity
    <The_Lieutenant> get that off him
    <enig> You're our pet faggot, Harry
    * enig switches the wiz outfit for one of the French military
    <kaven_matnock> hey COD fags. what aitport was shot up in the single player game on modern warefare i think it was
    <enig> Vichy makes me randy
    <NegiSpringfield> I am a wizard though...so it fits kind of.
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm trying to suck his dick and you're fucking about with wizard costumes.
    <NegiSpringfield> o phalle
    <enig> No, Negi, you are France.
    <enig> The costume was for posterity.
    <The_Lieutenant> You can be a wizard next time.
    <The_Lieutenant> Speaking of posterity, I think I'm ready to go again.
    <NegiSpringfield> magus thingy if I could think straight
    <The_Lieutenant> Well, we'd better get this over with, who wants to be the USSR?
    <Jaques> i present to you guys...
    <Jaques> the worm faggot
    <Jaques> http://i.imgur.com/WA7U9Es.jpg
    <enig> This man does The_Lieutenant https://images.encyclopediadramatica.se/2/25/Negi_Springfield_nudes.jpg
    <enig> HE wants to be USSR
    <The_Lieutenant> ...
    <The_Lieutenant> But I just finished fucking him while he played france
    <enig> Yes, that is what we are humping
    <enig> Good thing I brought the grocery bags, huh?
    <The_Lieutenant> I guess we could dress him up as a sexy cossack, and let him top me...
    <The_Lieutenant> but I don't like it.
    <The_Lieutenant> I mean, I might like it, but it would be... odd.
    <The_Lieutenant> So... I guess that means it would be appropriate.
    <enig> Kinky.
    <Jaques> The_Lieutenant: did you know that most cossacks have a masculinity problem?
    <Jaques> also they are short so yea
    <The_Lieutenant> Did you know that Germany was on the offensive until they failed to take Stalingrad in the winter?
    <Jaques> did you know that german steel started to crack when they where exposed to russian winter?
    <Jaques> i find it p funny
    <Jaques> germans drowning in the freezing russian lakes
    <The_Lieutenant> yeah
    <enig> So, who is going to be USSR so their Russian Winter can crack France's Marginot Line
    <Jaques> so much for superior race
    * The_Lieutenant lubes Negi up, then bends over.
    <Jaques> cant even take a little bit of cold from time to time
    <Jaques> worse than niggers
    <kaven_matnock> [shitty youtube link expunged']
    <The_Lieutenant> Alright Negi, since no one else wants to, you get to be Russia.
    <enig> MOSKAU MOSKAU
    <kaven_matnock> 13 years and sabbath sill got it
    <The_Lieutenant> Be gentle, I'm still a bit weary from the Treaty of Versailles.
    <HardEskimoPenis> Who is Palestine?
    <The_Lieutenant> we'll worry about that later.
    * Equivamp (Mibbit@wtfux-1B09AE52.cpe.cableone.net) has joined #ed
    <Meepsheep> man
    <Meepsheep> these LAX tweets
    <The_Lieutenant> Oi, Negi, Seelow heights isn't going to blaze through itself, get over here and fuck me.
    <Meepsheep> i swear retards everywhere
    <The_Lieutenant> lol
    <The_Lieutenant> you came in at a fucking awkward time, Meepsheep.
    <Meepsheep> lol
    <The_Lieutenant> meepsheep
    <NegiSpringfield> The_Lieutenant: I don't have the energy
    * The_Lieutenant Shoves negi back into the corner
    <The_Lieutenant> Meepsheep, YOU can be
    <The_Lieutenant> Russia
    <enig> Yeah Meepsheep, give negi the Russian Winter
    <enig> Hard and deep
    <The_Lieutenant> no, I called dibs on being Nazi Germany
    <The_Lieutenant> and I'm totally ok with being e-banged by meepsheep. So I vote he gets to be the USSR.
    <Jaques> nothing can beat the russian winter
    <Jaques> -40 C*
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm doing some serious beating anyways, knowwhatimean?
    <Jaques> you cunts have problems with -5*
    <Jaques> with medium humidity
    * The_Lieutenant dive tackles Meepsheep.
    <The_Lieutenant> SEIG HEIL!


    Anyways, after Meepsheep invaded my Seelowe heights with his rock hard T34, I relocated, at the urging of Kaven Matnock, to irc.wizardchan.org. I was unaware of the nature of Wizardchan, which only contributed to the mess that I made.

    * Topic for #wiz set by anachronos!xach@netadmin.xach.org at Mon Oct 28 17:16:23 2013
    <The_Lieutenant> Oh, hi Negi
    <The_Lieutenant> I was just sent here to brag about our encounter, in fact.
    <The_Lieutenant> or is everyone's attention, perhaps, directed elsewhere?
    <Kroswind> sup bro
    <The_Lieutenant> Oh, hi
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm a "friend" of Negi
    * orlok has quit (Quit: Web client closed)
    <The_Lieutenant> and I have excellent news.
    <Papator> and the news is?
    <The_Lieutenant> Negi and I totally just had hot WWII themed sexual intercourse.
    <The_Lieutenant> and I was told to give the good news on this so called irc.wizardchan.org
    <NegiSpringfield> hi
    <NegiSpringfield> ugh
    <funkytown> are you a guy, The_Lieutenant
    <NegiSpringfield> I was e-raped :(
    * The_Lieutenant gives Negi a super big hug
    <The_Lieutenant> It wasn't rape, you were into it, negi.
    <NegiSpringfield> er
    <funkytown> The_Lieutenant, post logs
    <The_Lieutenant> fine
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> Oh...
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> hi Noble. You're just in time
    <The_Lieutenant> <Noble> i told you i could lieutenant
    <The_Lieutenant> <Noble> '<
    <The_Lieutenant> <enig> We are having gay nazi text sex 2x
    <The_Lieutenant> <enig> Join in
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> The correct term, enig
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> is neo-nazi-in-denial
    <The_Lieutenant> * The_Lieutenant dive tackles Noble
    <The_Lieutenant> <Noble> *slaps lieutenant around with a large trout
    <The_Lieutenant> <Noble> shit i cant remember how to do this
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> I'm GOING TO AMERIFUCK YOU UNTIL YOU LIKE IT, NOBLE
    <The_Lieutenant> * Noble (~opera@wtfux-402FC091.hr.hr.cox.net) has left #ed
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> d'awwwwwwwwwwwww
    <The_Lieutenant> * NegiSpringfield (~chatzilla@wtfux-B49C65D6.hsd1.tx.comcast.net) has joined #ed
    <The_Lieutenant> <enig> Can't handle the americock
    <The_Lieutenant> <enig> NEGI GET READY FOR DENIALNAZI TEXT SEX 5X ORGYTIME
    <The_Lieutenant> * The_Lieutenant dive tackles Negi
    <The_Lieutenant> <NegiSpringfield> hi
    <The_Lieutenant> <NegiSpringfield> :D
    <The_Lieutenant> * The_Lieutenant slides his hands down Negi's pants in a manner more invasive than sexy
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> I'm going to airdrop my paratroopers on your island of Crete, Negi.
    <The_Lieutenant> <NegiSpringfield> uhm
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> It will be a sexual blitzkrieg of unimaginable power.
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> You could surrender, but where's the fun in that?
    <The_Lieutenant> <enig> I say we make Negi our temporary secretary of gay coffee trouser cleaning
    <The_Lieutenant> <enig> I love me some pubic java
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> I say we gear up our trouser panzers and lay siege to his city of Tobruk.
    <The_Lieutenant> <NegiSpringfield> enig: I don't think I have much of a choice, do I?
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> no
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> no you don't.
    <The_Lieutenant> That was just the start
    * Dumbjuuzer (Dumbjuuzer@irc-0gg.8o3.5tlkgm.IP) has joined #wiz
    * The_Lieutenant adopts the mannerism of the news anchor bot from Starship Troopers
    <The_Lieutenant> Would you like to know more?
    <The_Lieutenant> See, that seems an awful lot like you were giving consent, Negi.
    * The_Lieutenant adopts the mannerisms of Rod Serling
    <The_Lieutenant> I have a complete log, to be submitted for your perusal.
    <The_Lieutenant> but a certain level of interest is needed for it to be effective.
    <funkytown> Submit it to the House Committee on UnWizardly Activities
    <Kroswind> grats bro
    <The_Lieutenant> Wait, he's not in trouble, is he?
    <funkytown> We are officially opening up an investigation into possible UnWizardly activities by one Negi J. Springfield
    <The_Lieutenant> woah
    <The_Lieutenant> woah
    <The_Lieutenant> woah
    <funkytown> I am the head chairman of the committee.
    <The_Lieutenant> I was just sent here to e-kiss and tell, not to fuck up someone's day.
    <funkytown> The_Lieutenant, what have posted here will likely result in Negi's banishment from this community for the duration of his life
    <The_Lieutenant> since when is getting e-laid an unwizardly activity?
    <Kroswind> technically its not realy getting laid if it was over the internet
    <Kroswind> so he should be good
    <The_Lieutenant> Even if he did get laid... what?
    <The_Lieutenant> wait, wait
    <funkytown> The_Lieutenant, you seem to be new here, so let me spell it out for you.
    <funkytown> We take unwizardly activity very seriously here
    <The_Lieutenant> My intel officer just sent me a link to your so called rules.
    <The_Lieutenant> HAHA
    <The_Lieutenant> RULE NUMBER 1
    <The_Lieutenant> AS IT IS WRITTEN IN THE BAGHVAD GITA, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS
    <funkytown> E-sex is sex
    <Kroswind> did the dick physically penetrate a vagina?
    <The_Lieutenant> and to quote the poet, Percy Bysshe Shelley, "Look on my works, ye Mighty, and DESPAIR!"
    <funkytown> The_Lieutenant, You have been issued a summons to appear before the House Committee on Unwizardly Activities
    <funkytown> we require your testimony against one Negi J. Springfield
    <The_Lieutenant> No
    <The_Lieutenant> Even if I enjoy the level of chaos I have unleashed on your little community, Negi is considered an ally of the Cult of the Desert Fox. That is to say, me.
    <The_Lieutenant> Wait
    <The_Lieutenant> I thought this was a place for wizards, not Virgins
    <Kroswind> THE MIGHT OF CHAOS DESCENDS
    <NegiSpringfield> meh
    <Kroswind> AS WE JOIN THE FIGHT
    * anon has quit (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
    <The_Lieutenant> God, I've been used. And I'm enjoying it.
    <Kroswind> AGAINST OUR COMMON FOE
    <Kroswind> THE JAWS OF FATE
    <The_Lieutenant> Negi, I'd apologize, but I don't know if I should be sorry yet.
    <The_Lieutenant> And since I've had IRL sex with people of both genders, I'm definitely not supposed to be here.
    <The_Lieutenant> But since I am
    <The_Lieutenant> I just have... so many questions
    <The_Lieutenant> that transcend your so called Committee.
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm hoping you can guess what my main question is going to be.
    <funkytown> I can't actually
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm also hoping you'll wait before banning me, so I have a chance to get it answered.
    <NegiSpringfield> I'm going to end up dying a virgin anyway
    <Kroswind> Im aiming for death at around 30
    <The_Lieutenant> You can't possibly know that unless you're going to dictate the manner of your own demise within the next few hours, Negi.
    <Kroswind> regardless of what goes down lol
    <The_Lieutenant> anyways, my main question is
    <The_Lieutenant> why "Wizard"?
    <NegiSpringfield> The_Lieutenant: I think it's an internet legend
    <NegiSpringfield> you turn into a wizard if you turn 30 as a virgin
    <The_Lieutenant> if anything, practicioners of magic have been rather sexualized figures throughout most mythology
    <NegiSpringfield> Yeah, like Aleister Crowley
    <The_Lieutenant> regardless of nationality
    * orlok (webchat@irc-tqk.uol.ant4er.IP) has joined #wiz
    <The_Lieutenant> As well they should. If you can pull a rabbit out of an empty hat, that's like a first class plane ticket to Fuck-ville.
    <The_Lieutenant> So
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm going to ask again
    <The_Lieutenant> why "Wizard"?
    <orlok> because i put on my robes and my qwizard hat
    <The_Lieutenant> That's a precourse to sex.
    <The_Lieutenant> you're dodging the question
    <Kroswind> I think, its because the guy who plays the wizard in D&D games
    <orlok> is this ed or something?
    <The_Lieutenant> Fuck that, as I said, I'm not a virgin, and I've played a friggin' Githzerai in D&D. That has to be waaaay larger a stigma than being a Wizard.
    <orlok> tfw no mods
    <Kroswind> lolol
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm not making that up, by the way.
    <Kroswind> I have yet to figure out why its called wizard as well
    <The_Lieutenant> I am being completely honest with you people.
    <Kroswind> maybe its this guy? http://www.lolbrary.com/lolpics/571/installation-wizard-6571.jpg
    <orlok> if you dont know why wizard than your a newfag
    <Kroswind> though I dunno, I imagine that guys pretty creative
    <Kroswind> thats pretty witty
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm not going anywhere until you tell me why the fuck you use "Wizard" as a handle.
    <orlok> its an old meme
    <The_Lieutenant> ...
    * witheld has quit (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
    <orlok> than again your probably new to the internet
    <The_Lieutenant> Negi, I don't want to tell you how to do things, but virginity aside, you seem... above the standards of this community.
    <funkytown> The_Lieutenant, how so
    <The_Lieutenant> Well, Negi is from ED, and that makes him classy as fuck
    <orlok> thought it was ed that came a knocking
    <The_Lieutenant> you, on the other hand, seem to be taking... not pride... hmm... you seem to have built a community around fatalism regarding social awkwardness
    <orlok> got a point?
    <The_Lieutenant> In the Cult of the Desert Fox, an excess of fatalism is a sin.
    <The_Lieutenant> And no, I don't really have a point... yet.
    <The_Lieutenant> I was sent here with no intel, so I'm kind of reeling for an objective.
    * Papator has quit (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
    * Papator (webchat@irc-2jg.vb5.ell1j8.IP) has joined #wiz
    <The_Lieutenant> any objections to me calling my acting intelligence officer for assistance?
    <orlok> having a fun roleplay?
    <The_Lieutenant> I DON'T KNOW
    <The_Lieutenant> <kaven_matnock> ive NEVER seen this "wizard" meme
    <The_Lieutenant> <kaven_matnock> and ive been around since internet
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> you should join in, I might want backup
    <The_Lieutenant> <kaven_matnock> cant
    <The_Lieutenant> <kaven_matnock> dun feel like evading atm
    <The_Lieutenant> <kaven_matnock> was gonna go laydown cuz my stomachs fucking up
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> you're my acting intel officer at the moment...
    <The_Lieutenant> <kaven_matnock> youve FUBARd the mission
    <The_Lieutenant> <The_Lieutenant> I have done no such thing
    <The_Lieutenant> I just... don't know...
    <orlok> .def u wizard
    <Teslabot> [UrbDict] Wizard: A 30+ year old virgin. (748↑54↓)
    <The_Lieutenant> oh?
    <The_Lieutenant> According to MY records: Wizard may refer to:
    <The_Lieutenant> The Wizard
    <The_Lieutenant> Wizard Rock
    <The_Lieutenant> I put on my robe and wizard hat, a quote from Bloodninja's cybersex logs
    <The_Lieutenant> A bad NBA team
    <The_Lieutenant> A person in fantasy or mythology who has studied and practices magic (see fag)
    <The_Lieutenant> Harry Potter - normalfags dream wizard
    <The_Lieutenant> Imperial Wizard - President of upstanding lynching clubs.
    <The_Lieutenant> Jesus - performed many magical acts.
    <The_Lieutenant> Charlie Sheen - Admitted Wizard.
    <The_Lieutenant> Alan Moore - Insane.
    <orlok> .def u wizardchan
    <Teslabot> [UrbDict] wizardchan: A growing imageboard site revolving around depression, virginity, and the reclusive NEET lifestyle. The site bans discussions of romantic relationships or social activities. The site is also home to a fair number of weebs, loli-fans, and imageboard veterans. This is likely due to the large amount of crossover between these things and 20-something year old virgins. (5↑2↓)
    <The_Lieutenant> Have any of you tried chatting up a girl/boy you like?
    <The_Lieutenant> that often works out better than pop culture would have you believe.
    <orlok> not in my experience.
    <The_Lieutenant> ...
    <The_Lieutenant> It's sure worked for me...
    <orlok> than get out
    <The_Lieutenant> my intel officer is mocking me
    <The_Lieutenant> Of course, I look like a rejected cast member from "The Usual Suspects", so that might have to do with it.
    <orlok> how old are you?
    <The_Lieutenant> I like to think they were attracted to my pseudo-knightly philosophies and incredible intellect.
    <The_Lieutenant> How old are YOU?
    <orlok> i asked first.
    <The_Lieutenant> 21
    <The_Lieutenant> this is the second most awkward conversation I've ever had online.
    <Kroswind> well it dont get
    <Kroswind> much worse than this
    <Kroswind> lolol
    <orlok> so is this going up on ED?
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm not going to post it. But if someone from ED asks me to share my logs, there's no reason why I wouldn't feel obliged to share

    NegiSpringfield> going to call it a night
    <NegiSpringfield> see ya'll
    <The_Lieutenant> good call.
    <Kroswind> nice im in the logs
    * NegiSpringfield has quit (Quit: sayounara mina-san)
    <Kroswind> I'll be an internet sensation
    <The_Lieutenant> furthermore, the CDF finds this concept of defining oneself around their sex life to be abhorrant.
    <funkytown> The CDF?
    <The_Lieutenant> Nevermind that.
    <orlok> 2secret4me
    <The_Lieutenant> Scroll up a bit, it's no secret.
    <Kroswind> bro can I join the cdf
    <orlok> i dont care enough
    <Kroswind> im good at sacrificing people
    <The_Lieutenant> We (me) are not currently accepting members, pending the completion of our insane little manifesto
    <Kroswind> its my specialty
    <orlok> what some satanic offshoot?
    <The_Lieutenant> I'm frustrated because I was sent here to brag about e-sexing up Negi, without fully understanding the nature of the community I was approaching
    <Kroswind> was his e-sexing part of the ritual
    <funkytown> hold up
    <funkytown> i cant find any reference to the cdf
    <The_Lieutenant> no, it was just fun
    <funkytown> can i join
    <Kroswind> to appease the desert fox?
    <Kroswind> damn
    <The_Lieutenant> funkytown: as it stands, I am all that currently exists of the Cult of the Desert Fox.
    <orlok> funkytown: closest thing i found was some faggy metalheads created a 'cult'
    <The_Lieutenant> no internet records at the moment
    <Kroswind> yeah bro
    <Kroswind> its a secret
    <The_Lieutenant> What part of "I'm working on my insane little manifesto" don't you get?
    <Kroswind> any good cult doesnt have records
    <The_Lieutenant> IT'S NOT FINISHED
    <orlok> http://www.metalfields.net/cult-of-the-fox.html
    <Teslabot> Cult of the Fox - Angelsbane Review
    <orlok> god that makes me nostalgic
    <The_Lieutenant> Also, fuck you, you're a community built around virginity. You don't get to judge my silly notions until you find a better commonality under which to rally.
    <Kroswind> lol theyre a new band
    <Kroswind> who said I was part of this community?
    <orlok> 3edgy7me
    <Kroswind> Im just a dude from the internet
    <The_Lieutenant> So am I
    <The_Lieutenant> well, I'm part of ED, so I get to pretend I'm important, and not a glorified bookkeeper of the internet's more disgraceful goings on.
    <The_Lieutenant> which is what I actually am
    <Kroswind> someones got to do it
    <The_Lieutenant> Jeez. My middle school councellor was right, waving the truth around like a child with a lightsaber toy is far more satisfying than building a shell of lies.
    <orlok> your not a very good bookkeeper if you didnt know what a wizard is
    <The_Lieutenant> ...
    <The_Lieutenant> https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Wizard
    <Teslabot> Wizard - Encyclopedia Dramatica
    <The_Lieutenant> Wizard may refer to:
    <The_Lieutenant> The Wizard
    <The_Lieutenant> Wizard Rock
    <The_Lieutenant> I put on my robe and wizard hat, a quote from Bloodninja's cybersex logs
    <The_Lieutenant> A bad NBA team
    <The_Lieutenant> A person in fantasy or mythology who has studied and practices magic (see fag)
    <The_Lieutenant> Harry Potter - normalfags dream wizard
    <The_Lieutenant> Imperial Wizard - President of upstanding lynching clubs.
    <The_Lieutenant> Jesus - performed many magical acts.
    <The_Lieutenant> Charlie Sheen - Admitted Wizard.
    <The_Lieutenant> Alan Moore - Insane.
    * Glaive gives channel operator status to Radagast
    <orlok> so glaive can you ban this guy?
    <The_Lieutenant> Uh oh, my About-to-Get-Banned-o-Meter just jumped to .025 bps
    <The_Lieutenant> now it's .4
    <The_Lieutenant> stop that.
    <orlok> [21:06] <The_Lieutenant> Fuck that, as I said, I'm not a virgin, and I've played a friggin' Githzerai in D&D. That has to be waaaay larger a stigma than being a Wizard. [21:06] <orlok> tfw no mods
    * Radagast sets ban on *!*irc-5r5.s5d.88pdmk.IP@*
    <Kroswind> lolol
    <The_Lieutenant> now it's at .8
    <The_Lieutenant> 1
    <The_Lieutenant> 2
    <Radagast> er
    <The_Lieutenant> huh
    <The_Lieutenant> I didn't know it went to 10
    <The_Lieutenant> See? You learn something new every day.
    * Radagast sets ban on *!*@*irc-5r5.s5d.88pdmk.IP
    <Radagast> I'M TOO DRUNK FOR THIS SHIT
    <The_Lieutenant> You could stay and talk, I suppose.
    * #wiz :Cannot send to channel (you're banned)
    <orlok> try practicing by banning the non virgin
    * Radagast sets ban on *!*@irc-5r5.s5d.88pdmk.IP
    <The_Lieutenant> ...
    * #wiz :Cannot send to channel (you're banned)
    <Radagast> i promise this has never happened before
    <Radagast> i usually never have any performance issues
    <Dumbjuuzer> Way to fuck up your first dy in the office
    <Dumbjuuzer> day*
     
  2. oddguy

    oddguy
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    The Prime Memeister

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    Can I get the short version of this?
     
  3. The Lieutenant

    The Lieutenant
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    Sure, TL;DR, We had an e-gangbang with Negi in #ed, and then when I bragged about it on Wizardchan, I was unaware that it was a "safe haven" for virgins, or that they would consider cybersex a loss of virginity.
     
  4. oddguy

    oddguy
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    The Prime Memeister

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    I don't know who's more retarded, them or Negi.
     
  5. 1H4T3NUMB3R5

    1H4T3NUMB3R5
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    Sounds like you might of done him a favor.
     
  6. The Lieutenant

    The Lieutenant
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    That's the impression I'm getting, yes.
     
  7. The Lieutenant

    The Lieutenant
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    Now, I need an able artist to turn this into a pornographic comic.
     
  8. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Nazi Chocolate (25.8069)
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  9. MrGask

    MrGask
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    #FreeGask

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    This thread is the reason the button was added.
     
  10. jack

    jack
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    anybody trying to get negi to have sex with them is so pathetic they problem have sex with Japaneses fuck pillows.

    hence why @Meepsheep is in this.
     
  11. The Lieutenant

    The Lieutenant
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    Yeah, this coming from the guy who remembers whatever a "Max Recall" is.
     
  12. jack

    jack
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    You mean because I was born before 1993?

    If we're going to judge people as fags for what decade they were born in then the 90's should be the faggty of them all.

    fag.
     
  13. Aroukar

    Aroukar
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    ...And a gay time was had by all.