FrontLumps reader beware a fucking faggot

Discussion in 'Your Shitty Projects' started by ExplosiveDiareah, Jul 4, 2012.

Encyclopedia Dramatica Forums
A very friendly community
  1. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    Books:
    #1 Welcome to dead beat Nigger town
    #2 Night of the living Dildo
    #3 Monster Cum
    #4 The girl who cried RAPE!!!!
    #5 Smell Dick cheese and Niggers DIE
    #6 Welcome to Camp Kiddy Fiddles.
    More to come soon.
     
  2. tokumei

    tokumei
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Elite

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    743
    Occupation:
    Sea Lawyer
    I don't know why I liked Camp Jelly Jam so much, it wasn't even worth AR points.
     
  3. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    #7 Curse of the Mummy's Womb
    #8 Wanking cramps can be murder
    #9 The Were John Candy of Yellow Fever swamp.
    #10 You can't make make me shit myself
    #11 Why i'm afraid of W.A.S.P.S (White Anglo Saxon Protestants)
    #12 One day at Whore land
    #13 The MILF Next door
    #14 Monster Cum II the electric boogaloo
    #15 A Night in BDSM tower
    #16 My Hairiest Adventure, A Furries story.
     
  4. tokumei

    tokumei
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Elite

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    743
    Occupation:
    Sea Lawyer
    I live in your basement! (dear mom,)
     
  5. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    It came from beneath my balls!
    Say out of the Closet!!!!
    The Cuckoo crackhead lookin for poon.
    How i got my shrunken dick.
    The Headless Job
    Werewolf Fursuit
    The BBW that ate everybody
    I LIVE IN YOUR BASEMENT LIVING OFF YOUR TAXES
    I hate black people
    Vampire Farts
    The Scarecrow faps at midnight
    Night of the living dead nigger cotton pickers
    Kentucky Fried Chicken Chicken
    Don't fall asleep on your stiffy
    Pubic Hairiest Adventure.
     
  6. tokumei

    tokumei
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Elite

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    743
    Occupation:
    Sea Lawyer
    Niiiice, I was sure cuckoo clock would translate to cock. Way to surpass expectation!
     
  7. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    Into the Jaws of Doom! There's only one way out! *fart*
     
  8. tokumei

    tokumei
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Elite

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    743
    Occupation:
    Sea Lawyer
    [​IMG]

    You're a real Alfred E. Neuman! R. L. Stink is not amused.
     
  9. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    Who is A E Neuterman?
    Hahah! R.L Stine is really old now! still doesn't look as creepy as Hans Rudi Giger's Wikipedia mugshot

    397px-H._R._Giger.
     
  10. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    Lets get SHITFACED
    The Abominable Blow dealer of Detroit
    A night in Compton
    GHOST Shit
    The night of the yiffing Furry
    Bad Pubic hare day
    Monster eggs from scrotum
    The Haunted Condom
    The beast from the east who made a great feast
    Horror at Camp KYJelly
    Attack of the Mexican
    Revenge of the Mexican gardeners
    Phantom of the Audited Tax Rebate.
     
  11. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368

    #1 Welcome to Dead Beat Nigger Town.
    A family move into a quaint little town to live in a house which belonged to a long far flung relative who they never heard of, Bright Falls is a former cotton picking plantation and is also the setting for Alan Wake, except they soon discover that unlike in the Game alan wake the entire town is inhabited by.... Niiggeerrrss!!!! Zombie Niggers!
    They pack up fuck off and never come back, THE END.

    #2 Night of the living Dildo Jessica is a 17 year old girl turning 18 in just a day, out of concern for her seeing all these boys, her mother buys her a dildo which she finds in a garage sale, hoping that if her daughter explores her own body and learns to masturbate she will avoid risking young adult pregnancy.
    Turns out this is no ordinary Dildo, it comes alive and it shows her all the love and attention she will ever need for her pussy THE END.

    #3 Monster Cum Andy a regular transgendered boy goes into an abandoned sperm bank and finds a sealed jar of sperm which has gone way past it's use by date, as soon as he opens the jar the cum starts to grow and expand eventually the town drowns in cum, and Andy kills the witch which put the spell on the cum, but not before everybody dies, but it's no biggy, it's only Atlanta city, THE END.

    #4 The girl who cried RAPE!!!! This chick with a case of Almost Raped is repeatedly screaming rape only for everyone to jump to her rescue to find she just enjoys the attention and gushing about how a man who is nowhere to be found "almost raped" her, eventually they get more and more angry with her, and the townsfolk get tired of her crying wolf, then one day she is attacked by a black guy, and he RAPES HER for real, she screams for help but nobody comes to the rescue, "If it's for real i don't fuckin care" says one 80 year old man, who simply relaxed by the fire reading the newspaper, the chick ends up pregnant with the rapedaddy skipping town to avoid paying child support and prison, eventually he is called into a suspect line but is not identified because they all like alike, THE END.

    #5 Dick Cheese and Die This guy since he was a kid has never washed under his foreskin, and his dick always smells of dick cheese, everytime he takes a piss he pisses chunky foul smelling dick cheese smegma, nobody wants to be around him because it wreaks, no girl can stand the smell and does not want to sleep with him, even if he uses a condom, the stink is unbearable, but he refuses to clean his dick cheese out.
    So he remains alone and lives in a shack then starts a business selling fine cheeses to the french, he makes thousands of dollars a month, but he never reveals even on his dying day, what the secret to his cheese making ever was, THE END.

    @Flu
     
  12. scumhook

    scumhook
    Expand Collapse
    Managing account details

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    20,083
    Occupation:
    Fellator of the homeless
    Home Page:
    i lol'd at "It came from beneath my balls!"
     
  13. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
  14. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
    Expand Collapse
    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    10,697
    Occupation:
    Dank Memes professor of Dank Community College.
    Home Page:
    GHOST Shit
    50cent gonna read yo some o' dat ghoast story shiet.
    An dis story the ghoast of Biggy Smalls Dose A Rap Battle against Black Jesus for the title of Rap Master Of The Universe.
    Buy dis shiet or I'll pull a driveby on yo house!

    #3 Monster Cum
    Biography of the Camera crew member Issei Sagawa in a Japanese porno company.

    #14 Monster Cum II the electric boogaloo
    After Issei Sagawa committed Seppiku, it is left to Issei's son Yoshi Sagawa to take up the burden of his fathers shameful profession.

    #12 One day at Whore land.

    A pedophile spends one day and one million dollars in the seedy red light district of Thailand.
    no one is safe.

     
  15. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    I like the last one, you should see about expanding that story.

    Welcome to Camp Kiddie Fiddles

    Billy is excited to go to his first summer camp ever, he is very excited, then when he gets off the Bus with the other kids, they are greeted by the counsellors and the director of the camp who insists every body calls him "Uncle Al" (his real name is Ferguson) everything seems okay, till they are eating hotdogs at a campfire, and Billy notices Uncle al trying to convince a kid to try a "special kind of hotdog" which he is holding just below his waist, and tells the kid not to bite but to suck gently and savour the flavor.
    He senses something is wrong, he goes to the forbidden derelict cabin and finds a stash of pics of kids naked in the showers, he immediately goes to the counsellors bunk and tries to call his parents on the payphone only to realize it is fake.
    He is forced to sleep outside in a tent with his bunk mates in a tent with the counsellors, for wandering off, he tries to sleep and does, but then later that night Uncle Al slips into his tent and sticks his cock under Billy's arm and demands that he give Uncle Al the "Under arm choo choo train tug" 30 years later, Billy has grown up into a host for a TV series on Discovery about survival in the Wild, and it's thoughts like this that have lead him to the SMACK.
    THE END.
     
  16. Stormtrooper

    Stormtrooper
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Elite

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,263
    Occupation:
    Sentient Game-Boy Thingie
    Home Page:
    Dick cheese and die is a brilliant masterpiece.
     
  17. FlamingTofuSquare

    FlamingTofuSquare
    Expand Collapse
    Dramatis Personæ

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2012
    Messages:
    5,632
    Occupation:
    retired werebelushiologist
    Phantom of the Audited Tax Rebate

    A desperate couple, a nigra baby mama and her illegal wetback neighbor, pool together all the SSNs and ITINs of all their illegitimate crotchspawn and claim a $10,000 refund. What they don't know is that haunting the local tax prep office is masked madman, who sneaks into their home and murders the couple. CPS and INS collect all the children, half of whom are promptly dumped into the system and molested by fundie scum, the other half dumped over the border and are killed by drug cartels for not handing over their money they made from sucking off scumbag tourists. Phantom forges refund check and buys pot.
     
  18. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
    Expand Collapse
    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    10,697
    Occupation:
    Dank Memes professor of Dank Community College.
    Home Page:
    My imaginary publicist says that it would not be advisable to continue on with that story.
     
  19. scumhook

    scumhook
    Expand Collapse
    Managing account details

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    20,083
    Occupation:
    Fellator of the homeless
    Home Page:
    It came from beneath my balls!:

    A young boy makes a Faustian bargain with a being from the dark.

    The boy's reward is unspecified at this point.

    The beings reward is to use the boy's anus as a portal from his dark dimension into this world, bringing his unspeakable minions with him.

    As the boy, now a young man with normal balls, lies on his back in bed; he feels his anus tingle and then burn. His back arches in agony as the pain escalates beyond anything his young frame has ever experienced.

    His anus glows red, then moves to a searing white fire as the portal is established.

    A blackened, twisted claw reaches out from beneath his balls...
     
  20. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    Werewolf Fursuit

    Meet Calvin who needs a costume for halloween at short notice, he goes into a creepy old costume store on the edge of town, and meets a bald old man who shows him many costumes, some are embarassingly stupid or badly made, he wants something real and scary so he can get that 1st prize of Corona beers in a crate, he finds one that really pleases him, it is a werewolf costume. he pays 10 dollars for it, but the man warns him that it is no ordinary costume, it was made by an insane crazed individual
    He passes it off as just stupid Halloween talk and takes it home, he finds that the costume is so skin tight that he cannot put it on, he finds that his clothing keeps snagging and bunching up and is unbearably uncomfortable, even wearing his briefs doesn't work, then he realizes, It was not meant to be worn with anything underneath, so he strips naked, and puts it on, he finds it fits perfectly conforming to his skin perfectly the fur was covering a suit of some kind of silicon rubber, it felt very high quality, then found his cock slip into a hole in the suit, he couldn't believe it, it had an in built pack for his balls and cock to fit into, like a second scrotum and foreskin, AMAZING, he figured it was to allow the wearer to take a piss discreetly, he finally pulled the head over his face, and found he could see hear and breath better than he thought, he felt strange, and went out with his bucket to do some trick or treating.

    He finds himself running faster than he expected, and full of energy, his scary costume scared many many people he went trick or treating, he didn't get any candy but he didn't mind, that Corona beer was as good as his now!

    To be Continued.

    CONT

    He ran off and got in line for the costume contest, many people exclaimed and gasped in awe and admiration of his suit, many asked him where he got it, he could only respond with low snarls and growls, people just passed this off as amazingly good dedication to acting, 10 minutes later he gets the first prize, and takes the beer, he meets up with his friends James and Julia and shares the beer they drink some beer, and he goes through them, pisses on a hydrant and smells Julia's sweet sweet pussy.... he cannot help himself he tries to mount Julia who screams and protests, James tries to smash Calvin over the head with an empty bottle, which has little effect, Calvin gets angry and unable to control himself he rips James dick off and shoves it up his ass, then rips off Julia's clothes and gives her the business with his cock which has become half human and half canine, he fucks Julia's brains out.... literally, James bleeds to death out of his cock stump, and Julia lies lifeless, Calvin is horrified unable to believe he could have done this, he realizes that the suit is taking control it is turning him into a werewolf, he tries to take off the suit but cannot, it has clung firmly to his skin, curses what sick mind would have made something so twisted and evil.
    He realizes his only hope is to find the old man who sold him the costume and he runs at full speed back to the shop, he knocks furiously on the door and the old man appears, and see's that it's him opens the door even though the store has the closed sign.
    "So you found out the curse of the werewolf fursuit" he smirks "I take it you enjoy it?"
    "NO!" Calvin shouts "I hate this fucking thing! WHO WOULD MAKE SOMETHING SO HORRIBLE? MY BEST FRIENDS ARE DEAD I RAPED ONE AND RIPPED THE DICK OFF THE OTHER I WANT IT OFF ME"

    "Oh" Says the old man, "I thought you stupid fuckin kids wanted to be werewolves and vampires so bad these days, and as for who made this suit.. it was.... a Furry.."
    "A furry? NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! AROOOOOOOO!!!!" He screams and howls
    "How do i take it off?" he asks "Simple" says the man, " You must find and kill the maker of the fursuit and then after 12 full moons you can finally remove it on the 12th but only the twelfth and you must do it before midnight or you will be a Werewolf permanently"

    So no question, he goes out to Murder the furry who made the fursuit, and after a whole year of were rape murder binge drinking, masturbation, vandalism and eating cows, he finally removes the suit and burns it, THE END.
     
  21. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
  22. Lyle

    Lyle
    Expand Collapse
    turtle

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2012
    Messages:
    3,993
    Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not a ranger anymore. I'm a teacher. Here to educate chillins the importance of finding shelter for when the time comes of the impending nuclear holocaust.
     
  23. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    You mean Solapocalypse.
     
  24. Lyle

    Lyle
    Expand Collapse
    turtle

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2012
    Messages:
    3,993
    No, that's the same rubbish by the mouth breathers that claim that global warming is caused by humans and not a natural occurring event.
     
  25. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    Nah Solopocalypse is a real threat.
    Electricity from geomagnetic storms from flares destroys power grids like the carrington event, except it probably isn't going to happen.

    Still could happen.

    But it won't because nature likes to fuck with these prepper assholes.
     
  26. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
    Expand Collapse
    Joevahkiin

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2011
    Messages:
    7,111
    Occupation:
    Throat Puncher
    Home Page:
    Vampire Farts.

    As the sun set over a bleak, gray mountain and night set over the hamlet of Tiajuana, Reginald stirred in his coffin. His belly ached with such ferocity that he, for the first time, feared death. His mind raced.

    "What has done this to my innards? The milk maid? The Taco cart vendor? Has has caused me this torment, I cannot bare it!"

    As Reginald gently shoved the lid of his icy tomb aside, a pressure grew in his belly. "What is this madness?", he mused as he struggled to pull himself up. The pressure in his gut built and finally, a sensation.

    A loud hiss, followed by a series of pops.

    Reginald's brow furrowed. "What in God's name was that?", he bellowed, shaking his fists into the sky. He looked to and fro, but saw nothing. The pressure in his belly had been somewhat relieved. But then, the aroma...

    Wafting from the floor of the room, a stench gripped Reginald. A stench that could peel the paint off an army tank. An aroma so horrendous, so absolutely atrocious, it could melt steel. Reginald gagged. He doubled over in nausea and disbelief. "This madness! It must end! What has happened here? WHAT EVIL HAS GRIPPED MY BEING?"

    Reginald...had farted.
     
  27. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
    Expand Collapse
    Joevahkiin

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2011
    Messages:
    7,111
    Occupation:
    Throat Puncher
    Home Page:
    Welcome to Deadbeat Nigger Town.

    Heading South on I-80, Tyrone was looking for aplace to do some nigger shit. Being a deadbeat father, he had to escape the pressures of not supporting his negroid children in Memphis. Filing for welfare was too much of a challenge, so he ran. He ran fast. He saw a sign....his saving grace sign. He knew he'd found his home. The utopia for ALL Deadbeat Niggers.

    He'd never have to work again...

    [​IMG]
     
  28. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
    Expand Collapse
    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    10,697
    Occupation:
    Dank Memes professor of Dank Community College.
    Home Page:
    #11 Why i'm afraid of W.A.S.P.S (i removed the other part because it was too clunky)
    Hyperliberal Tim Wise wakes up one day to find everyone on earth has been replaced with white heterosexuals.
    World peace is declared, there is no more crime and Cold Fusion and windpower have replaced fossil fuels.
    And Tim is scared.
    Has everything he believes in been a lie?
    In a moment of insanity he plans to murder the members of the United Front, a working version of the UN.
    Find out more in this gripping novel that loudmouth liberal mouthbreathers have called
    "Horrifying" "A dark future that we need to work against" and "Oh god someone please think of the children"
     
  29. Flu

    Flu
    Expand Collapse
    EDF Elite

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2011
    Messages:
    1,778
    Occupation:
    milk man
    Home Page:
    I'm lost as to the point of this thread. We're invited to take a title and write a synopsis of it? Is that the plan?
    Because I'm riding the fine line of sobriety and as of such, my energy and attention span are nill, but if the plan's the plan, I'm sure I could contribute. After all, I've read all your books in highschool! Even watched your show, too!
     
  30. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
    Expand Collapse
    Girlvinyl

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    6,368
    Yeah pretty much.
    Come up with a short synopsis which is basically the story summed up in a few sentences, and we keep adding to them.

    The more you know about the books the more likely it is you can come up with an idea,
    which is why Camp Kiddie Fiddles is so long, because i read it when i was 12 years old the same age as BILLY the character in the book,
    and the story in that book LEAD ME TO THE SMACK AS WELL