Food Cringe

Discussion in 'Food, Drugs & Alcohol' started by GloriousReader, Sep 16, 2015.

  1. GloriousReader

    GloriousReader
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    Post your most cringe-worthy cooking shows and recipes here
    First up
    SIMPLY SARA AKA SINFULLY SARA
    1391950802937.
    Sara and her husband run her youtube promoting their unhealthy lifestyle, she wonders why shes fat and blames her genetics as you can see she adds heaping amounts of genetics to each of her meals.




    She disappeared for a while and everyone assumed she was dead.
    NOPE she was just in a medically induced coma after catching a bad case of pneumonia because fat.
     
    #1 GloriousReader, Sep 16, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2015
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  2. metaljee

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    Allah

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    nope
     
  3. GloriousReader

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    NEXT UP
    COOKING WITH JACK

    1441838673858.
    Jack is another fat fuck who runs his youtube (200k subs) shit cooking show promoting his sauce "the best sauces"
    Here he is eating a raw burger

    Here's some cheese jello


    He was featured on West Texas Investors Club, they hated his sauce and made him cry, he than ran to twitter and begged his followers to not watch the episode. You can see part of it @ 1:30

    Here's a synopsis
    King Ja/ck/ attempted to bamboozle three wealthy rednecks in West Texas by offering them 20% ownership of his sauce company for 300k USD. Needless to say they refused his offer but not before forcing him to barbecue for 100 people in a competition with a local pitmaster to see if his sauce and food is any good. Ja/ck/ being the bumbling, incompetent shitsack that he is could not barbecue to save his life, so the investors actually did it for him while he chatted up the women like a bonafide cu/ck/. Hours later they judged their barbecue with the judges coming to a tie for TV dramatic effect and the tie-breaker coming from audience scores which heavily favored the local pitmaster.

    Ja/ck/ went back to the studio only for the investors to promptly call him out on his bullshit and tell him that he only came on the show to advertise himself and not because he cares about the sauces. They had seen through his elaborate ruse and Ja/ck/ began to cry like a blubbering hungry-hungry hippo. After his dramatic speech where he claimed to love giving away sauce to homeless people or something, the investors offered to invest in his youtube show but Ja/ck/ refused because he is a complete and utter idiot. Then they called him Jack Scalfatty and he left. They made one more fat joke after that but I can't remember. So ends the greatest humiliation I've seen on one of these kind of shows.
     
    #3 GloriousReader, Sep 16, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2015
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  4. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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    [​IMG]
     
  5. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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    [​IMG]

    and for dessert. bon appetit
     
  6. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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  7. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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    [​IMG]
    Death by Breakfast Cake: 2 layers of quiche made from eggs, Bisquick, sausage, bacon, onions, peppers, and cheese, stacked and iced with sausage gravy, covered with more bacon, and topped with another layer of cheese
     
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  8. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. GloriousReader

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    CHRISSIE LIVING WITH CEREBRAL PALSY
    1441852367916.

    This seamen demon has palsy and she makes cupcakes... thats about it.
    Prepare your sides

     
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  10. Abbon

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    Since when have we stopped treating food like food?
     
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  11. hkh

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    Whenever I want to lose weight I just watch this cow and stop eating for a few weeks
     
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  12. oddguy

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    The epitome of amrican dining.
     
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  13. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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  14. Arcticphoenix95

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    Secretary of Fast Food and Sexual Assault

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    Looks like it's made of cum and mucus. Delicious.
     
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  15. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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    [​IMG]
    Elvis Suicide Burger-- 1/2 lb beef patty, peanut butter, bacon & fried bananas
     
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  16. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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  17. Arcticphoenix95

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    Secretary of Fast Food and Sexual Assault

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    I couldn't find the original thread this was posted in but this deserves to be posted nonetheless. The ultimate recipe for lonely nerds who wish to overcompensate for their lack of testosterone.
    The Bacon Leviathan
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    Also includes cupcakes
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
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  18. ViolentlyMasticates

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    Since bullshit like EpicMealTime where apparently under cooking bacon and layering it with dry mince and bad whiskey is applauded.

    Is that served on goddamned seaweed?
     
  19. xXtryingtoohardXx

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    This thread is lacking in Sandra Lee's monstrosities.



     
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  20. ViolentlyMasticates

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    I think the 'Food' channel is out there just to fuck with people

     
  21. j15m

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    "Two Fat Ladies" was on tv in the mid 90's, they were overly british and hard to understand, and they cooked horrible dishes. But they smoked cigarettes and drank beer on set while filming, so that made them cool.



     
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  22. oddguy

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    Two Fat Ladies was actually pretty good
     
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  23. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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    [​IMG]

    hot dogs and ramen
     
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  24. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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    [​IMG]
    spaghetti tacos
     
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  25. aggressiveboob

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    lightly salted

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    [​IMG]
    popcorn ketchup tacos
     
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  26. feminist jazz hands

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    Moral Highlander

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    Holy shit, @scumhook have you seen these gems? :awesome: I'm in love with those cooking tips at the bottom:

    Whenever you think the food is cooked, cook it more.

    Whenever you think you've added plenty of salt, add some more.

    Cut all food, except fried sandwiches, into bite-sized pieces before serving.

    Fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches must be eaten with a knife and fork.

    Serve drinks in glasses large enough to hold several cans of drink.

    :D

    Anyway, here's another "contrib":
    [​IMG]
    "Sir, how would you like your dick?"
    "Rare!"
     
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  27. feminist jazz hands

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    Moral Highlander

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    English cuisine... i'd quote Hercule Poirot, but yeah, i remember these two hags. They did truly horrible dishes, stuff like lamb with spam, ... pears ... and ... brandy? :vomit:

    But i digress, the boozing is redeemable factor. Sort of. :awesome:
     
  28. ViolentlyMasticates

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    That gave me flashbacks to my grandmother.

    Also, I find those channels that make 'quirky' cakes just as disgusting. HowToCookThat and the like. However, this is probably one of the worst examples.

    Fuck you, Donovan Pritchard

     
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  29. CocaineInMyBrain

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    Still the undisputed king of internet cooks. The air of loneliness, depression, and obvious pedophilia is also very fitting
     
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  30. moogshroom

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    Quite a long ago, this guy's videos made me really nauseous and almost got me to throw up.
    I think he was discovered by SA. A greasy hoarder Canuck who frequently drops the ingredients and handles them even in his toilet, spiced up with improvised cooking methods. But I still feel like he was being a dimwit on purpose.

    The end result in this one looks so sickening:
     
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