FLAME WARRIORS

Discussion in 'Science & Technology' started by zaiger, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. zaiger

    zaiger
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    I want you guys to go through these and identify EDFers to their role in this netizen's guide to flame warriors.

    I will go first:

    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/jerk.htm

    Jerk is sarcastic, mean, unforgiving and never misses an opportunity to make a cutting remark. Jerk's repulsive personality quickly alienates other Warriors, and after some initial skirmishing he is usually ostracized. Still, Jerk is very happy to participate in electronic forums because in cyberspace he is free to be himself...without the risk of getting a real-time punch in the mouth

    @PerpetuallyAroused for sure.
     
  2. PerpetuallyAroused

    PerpetuallyAroused
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    I'm not ostracized, I'm held aloft like a god. But the rest of it is pretty accurate. You on the other hand zigger, are some kind of barn animal.
     
  3. endsenten

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    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/deacon.htm


    Be he a Baptist, Scientologist or Zoroastrian, in the heat of battle Deacon will call down Divine retribution on all net sinners, and will never miss an opportunity to blather endlessly about his religion. Deacon is fervent and earnest, but seldom contributes anything of interest or substance to the discussion. Occasionally Tireless Rebutter or Philosopher will rouse themselves engage Deacon in battle, but they soon lose interest because of his utter predictability.

    @ChristianWarrior94
     
  4. PerpetuallyAroused

    PerpetuallyAroused
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    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/capitalista.htm

    Capitalista is not always a wealthy fat cat; being a Capitalista is a state of mind rather than a reflection of affluence. A strident and extraordinarily self–satisfied Warrior, Capitalista takes every opportunity to extol the superiority of the free enterprise system and has a powerful aversion to the welfare states of Europe. Capitalista fiercely defends the market economy, bludgeoning “fuzzy-minded socialists” with Adam Smith, Milton Friedman and Friedrich Hayek. Though rather limited in his range of interests, Capitalista’s command of carefully selected historical facts, abstruse statistical comparisons and arcane economic theory make him a formidable foe.

    @The Member Formerly Known As Baya Rae 4900
     
  5. PerpetuallyAroused

    PerpetuallyAroused
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    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/centurion.htm


    Centurion
    tries to gain tactical advantage in battle by asserting that he is, or was at one time, in the military. He affects the brusque demeanor and clipped style of a drill sergeant, and intimidates opponents by sprinkling his messages with military verbiage and obscure acronyms. He reinforces weak arguments by constantly reminding other Warriors that he has “done his duty”, or “served his country”. Sometimes Centurion may even post pictures of military hardware or images of himself in fatigues brandishing a weapon. Centurion may actually have a military background, or he may just be a nut case - no one really knows. Centurion loathes and is loathed byWeenie, Artiste and Fragile Femme. His natural ally isTroglodyte.

    @Atomic_Joe
     
  6. PerpetuallyAroused

    PerpetuallyAroused
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    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/fragilefemme.htm

    Fragile Femme
    is very needy and insecure and regards the discussion forum as her personal support group, and will lash out when her feelings are not "validated" by the others. Fragile Femme will often refer to the forum participants as her "family" and becomes distraught at disharmony of any kind. She regards a minor disagreement with her as devastating personal assaults and will often dissolve into hysteria when confronted. Her hyperactive sense of injury renders her fighting tactics fairly ineffective, butInnocence Abused, Cyber Sistersor Weenie will often spring to her defense.


    @DGTrixie
     
  7. zaiger

    zaiger
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    Add the descriptions to your posts, you savages.
     
  8. PerpetuallyAroused

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  9. Lord Raptor

    Lord Raptor
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    I remember seeing this site before. Wasted some cool time just checking every entry.

    Kung-Fu Master: though Kung-Fu Masters are powerful Warriors, they generally choose not to fight. Many lesser Warriors delude themselves into thinking that they are masters of war, but few are the genuine article. The true Kung-Fu master fully appreciates his own superiority and is therefore unruffled by petty provocations. When forced to fight, however, he quickly crushes his opponent with devastating blows.
    @Lurkerella, mostly

    Big Cat: would rather not fight...he enjoys peacefully observing forum conversations and laconically participates when the moods strikes. He playfully chases interesting threads, and from time to time uses a Newbie or Propellerhead as a convenient scratching post. He enjoys being stroked or petted, and tends to purr loudly. CAUTION: Don't be fooled by his fuzzy, playful exterior. When provoked, Big Cat reacts with lightning speed and almost always lands on his feet after an attack. Big Cat often indulges himself by toying with his victim before delivering his lethal blows.
    @Shlomo Bernitz
     
  10. PerpetuallyAroused

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    Inaccurate on both counts. I think the mistake this caricaturist makes is to assume there are any EFFECTIVE warriors. I think a key part of an internet argument is that it goes nowhere.
     
  11. endsenten

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    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/garble.htm
    Garble is a mystery: Is he a foreigner with only tenuous grasp of English? Is he on drugs? Does he suffer a serious mental debility? Is he typing wearing boxing gloves? Garble's rampant typos, malapropisms and execrable grammar can't be blamed solely on poor typing skills. Garble is all the more puzzling because if one manages to hack his way through the tangled muddle of his messages a discernable idea will often emerge. For example, in a forum discussion about a painting he might say, "Sorry the picchr the har is wrog. The culir. I liike the lips bot teh Paintng is sucs". When someone refers to his random capitalization Garble might say something like, "oPS i HITTED THE CAPDLOCK". Garble drives Grammarian and Nitpick absolutely nuts, but he disdains all efforts at correction, and if complaints persist he will indignantly sign exit saying, "yuor forum si stupef. bYE!" HINT: Garble may be Net Rat.

    @WolfSinister @TheHipsterDudola @ChirsTaylor
     
  12. oddguy

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    This thread is bloody retarded.
     
  13. Atomic_Joe

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    Permit me to disagree. My weenie loves me.
     
  14. faggotmaximum

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    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/bong.htm

    Is it just you or does this guy seem to babble on and on without making any sense whatsoever? Does he lurch from one non sequitur to another? Are you baffled by his obscure metaphors? Are there so many typos you think that maybe he was typing while wearing a catcher's mit? Can he really MEAN what he just said? What in the hell is hey talking about, anyway? Is this guy smoking something? Well, yes...in fact he is, and lightly tethered in orbit high above the Earth Bong remains far beyond the grasp of the even the most powerful of Warriors.

    @Dr. Rice
     
  15. PerpetuallyAroused

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    I got you pegged centurion.
     
  16. zaiger

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    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/netrat.htm

    Not every young person on the internet is an Enfant Provocateur; sometimes they're just Net Rat. Net Rat spends countless hours in front of the computer and loves to play at being a grownup. Imagine your chagrin if in a love and romance forum you've been pouring out your anguish over a recent messy breakup with your boyfriend, or you have finally mustered the courage to talk about some particularly lurid desires that have been throbbing in your libido, or perhaps you thought you found a romantic soulmate on the internet only to discover that your hot cyber lover turns out to be in junior high. Even worse, in a serious discussion forum you may think you have succesfully faked a convincing understanding of Spinoza and later discover that the only person you have really managed to fool is still reading Harry Potter. Well, don't feel too bad about it - some Net Rats can be very convincing.

    This is definitely Sheneequa. Pretending to be to be a 29 year old black female psychologist, when in actuality he was a 17 year old white high school student.
     
  17. PerpetuallyAroused

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    he still had so many sexual issues though.
     
  18. zaiger

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    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/blissninny.htm


    Bliss Ninny doesn't understand why people just can't get along. While it is entirely unintentional, Bliss Ninny's utterly vacuous comments can drive the more pugnacious Warriors into a frenzy of aggression. Often in the heat of battle Bliss Ninny will discuss her cat.

    lol @Khanzer
     
  19. zaiger

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    http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/evilclown.htm

    Evil Clown is very quick with a joke, but his jests always have a barb. He has little patience for in-depth discussions and will often disrupt exchanges between serious forum participants by introducing irrelevant topics, fatuous quips, and offhand comments. His greatest thrill is to taunt and humiliate weaker or more plodding Warriors with his snappy ripostes. Not a particularly powerful Warrior, Evil Clown will attempt to avoid defeat by accusing his attacker of having no sense of humor.

    @oddguy
     
  20. oddguy

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    [​IMG]
     
  21. Lord Raptor

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  22. endsenten

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    Issues is @swishy and @Vheer
    Issues has an issue and she won't rest until it becomes your issue, too. Even when she's not talking about her issue it's clear she would rather be talking about her issue. Something of a secular evangelist, her religion, her raison d'etre, her abiding passion is....well, her issue. Not exclusive to any ideological orientation, her issue could be the environment, abortion rights, raw foods, breast feeding, whatever. Her obsession, however, provides the key to defeating her in battle; she can't tolerate indifference, so if her thrusts are simply ignored she will rage, accuse, condemn, plead and finally, go away.

    @Fumo161 is definitely Target.
    Target is the guy everyone in a forum loves to hate. He brings this upon himself; he may be a known cheater in a game forum, a conservative among liberals, a Windows guy among Mac enthusiasts, or even a man in a women's forum. Why Target places himself in such dicey situations is anyone's guess, but he seems genuinely oblivious to the danger. When Warriors unleash their collective fury upon him his usual reaction is "Hey, what did I do?" or "Why do you all hate me?" Target eventually gets the hint after a while and moves on. NOTE: Target often serves as a useful pressure valve for the forum's pent up hostilities. Therefore, if the current Target has been driven off or immobilized a new target will be quickly selected. CAUTION: Target is a favorite disguise of Troller and Evil Clown.
     
  23. Khanzer

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    I only want peace :'(
     
  24. oddguy

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    Nah,Fumo was not a target.
    @SuperSpecialSuperStar was a target. S4 did this shit on purpose,Fumo on the other hand...
    He was just chosen as everyones default punching bag when S4 left (i wanted that position.) and when he realized everyone hates him he began to pretend that that was what he wanted all along to protect his fragile ego.
     
  25. endsenten

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    @SuperSpecialSuperStar is Enfant Provocateur
    Enfant Provocateur likes to stir up trouble because...because, well...just because. This species of Flame Warrior is almost always young and male - it could be just a hormone thing.
     
  26. oddguy

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    On second thought ?
    I want no part of this circlejerk of a thread.
    i'm outie.
     
  27. zaiger

    zaiger
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    It's not a circlejerk, it is just fun to stereotype people.
     
  28. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    Xenophobe is usually a long-term discussion forum participant and he thinks of the forum as his private compound. Xenophobe regards new forum arrivals as mentally deficient and perhaps even having criminal tendencies, and they are invariably approached with suspicion and condescension. Xenophobe will mount a furious attack if a Newbie has the temerity to make critical observations about the forum's social dynamics, or questions its prevailing opinions.

    @Sublime for sure.
     
  29. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    Thats why racism is funny!
     
  30. zaiger

    zaiger
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    Seriously. Why is it funny when Dave Chapelle or Carlos Mencia do it? Ok maybe Carlos Mencia is a bad example, but my point stands. Racism is funny, and it doesn't mean you are a real racist just because you make/laugh at racist jokes.