Delicious Diseases 2: The Secret of the Ooze

Discussion in 'Science & Technology' started by Atomic_Joe, Aug 16, 2011.

  1. Atomic_Joe

    Atomic_Joe
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    Joevahkiin

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    It's time again for another rip-roaring good time with diseases, infections, syndromes, and sexually transmitted lols, DELICIOUS DISEASE II: THE SECRET OF THE OOZE *wicked cool explosion*

    Necrotizing fascitis. The flesh eating bacteria.



    [​IMG]


    Over 70% of cases are recorded in patients with one of the following clinical situations: immunosuppression, diabetes, alcoholism/drug abuse (like most of you buttholes :p), malignancies, and chronic systemic diseases. It occasionally occurs in people with an apparently normal general condition.


    [​IMG]

    What makes this disease so damn sexy is how innocuous it is at first. The infection begins locally at a site of
    trauma, which may be severe, minor, or even non-apparent. Patients usually complain of intense pain that may seem excessive given the external appearance of the skin. With progression of the disease, often within hours, tissue becomes swollen. Diarrhea and vomiting are also common symptoms.

    In the early stages, signs of inflammation may not be apparent if the bacteria are deep within the tissue. If they are not deep, signs of inflammation, such as redness and swollen or hot skin, develop very quickly. Skin color may progress to violet, and blisters may form, with subsequent necrosis(death) of the subcutaneous tissues.
    Patients with necrotizing fasciitis typically have a fever and appear very ill. Mortality rates have been noted as high as 73 percent if left untreated.Without surgery and medical assistance, such as antibiotics, the infection will rapidly progress and will eventually lead to death. Yeah, that's right. Little tiny bacteria single handedly make you there bitch and eat you to death.

    [​IMG] Nom nom nom, motherfucker.


    Disease is punishment.
     
  2. carcinologist

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  3. Tom

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    i dont feel good now, the world sucks
     
  4. guitarmaster

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    Dramacrat

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    you still drunk?
     
  5. Tom

    Tom
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    yeh its nto like i can get sber really fast
     
  6. Atomic_Joe

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    DOWN SYNDROME aka Water-Head McStupid-Fuck Syndrome

    [​IMG]

    This one should be easy for you to grasp.
    Down syndrome is a genetic condition in which a person has 47 chromosomes instead of the usual 46. Now, 9 times out fo 10, more is better, but not when it comes to genetics. One more than necesaary and it will fuck your kids up.



    [​IMG]

    Symptoms



    Down syndrome symptoms vary from person to person and can range from mild to severe. However, children with Down syndrome have a widely recognized appearance.

    The head may be smaller than normal and abnormally shaped. For example, the head may be round with a flat area on the back. The inner corner of the eyes may be rounded instead of pointed.

    [​IMG] <---Either that kid is retarded, or that bucket is fast as shit.


    Common physical signs include:

    • Excess skin at the nape of the neck

    • Flattened nose

    • Separated joints between the bones of the skull (sutures)

    • Single crease in the palm of the hand

    • Small ears

    • Small mouth

    • Upward slanting eyes

    • Wide, short hands with short fingers

    • White spots on the colored part of the eye (Brushfield spots)
    Physical development is often slower than normal. Most children with Down syndrome never reach their average adult height.
    Children may also have delayed mental and social development. Common problems may include:
    • Impulsive behavior
    • Poor judgment
    • The inability to count past potato
    • Short attention span

      [​IMG]
     
  7. carcinologist

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    Ok this made me laugh
     
  8. Grapeluv

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    Ediot

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    Welllll, there goes my boner. :awesome:
     
  9. Atomic_Joe

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    Joevahkiin

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    That first picture almost made me shit my pants. It's is seriously the funniest goddamn tard I've ever seen.
     
  10. Tom

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    your not funny, why dont you go to ohi forums, im sure they willl think ur funny ther
     
  11. carcinologist

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    I lold at the kid in the bucket though,
     
  12. Atomic_Joe

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    Joevahkiin

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    No, but you know what IS funny?

    GONORRHEA. AKA The drip or the clap.

    [​IMG] POW! Right in the eye! From THIS guy over here -> [​IMG]


    Gonorrhea is caused by the bacteria Neisseria gonorrhoeae. Anyone who has any type of sex can catch gonorrhea. The infection can be spread by contact with the mouth, vagina, penis, or anus.
    The bacteria grow in warm, moist areas of the body, including the tube that carries urine out of the body (urethra). In women, the bacteria may be found in the reproductive tract (which includes the fallopian tubes, uterus, and cervix). The bacteria can even grow in the eyes.
    Health care providers in every state in the U.S. are required by law to tell their State Board of Health about anyone diagnosed with gonorrhea. The goal of this law is make sure the patient gets proper follow-up care and that their sexual partners are found and tested.
    You are more likely to develop this infection if you:

    • Have multiple sexual partners(nothing you gentlemen need to worry about, I'm sure :p)

    • Have a partner with a past history of any sexually transmitted infection

    • Do not use a condom during sex
    • Abuse alcohol or illegal substances

    Symptoms of gonorrhea usually appear 2 - 5 days after infection, however, in men, symptoms may take up to a month to appear. Some people do not have symptoms. They may be completely unaware that they have caught the infection, and therefore do not seek treatment. This increases the risk of complications and the chances of passing the infection on to another person.

    Symptoms in men include:

    • Burning and pain while urinating

    • Increased urinary frequency or urgency

    • Discharge from the penis (white, yellow, or green in color)

    • Red or swollen opening of penis (urethra)

    • Tender or swollen testicles
    Sore throat (gonococcal pharyngitis)

    [​IMG] God DAMN, that's gross.
     
  13. Grapeluv

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    Ediot

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    Nah, I'm good. <3
    Eye issues like that always hit a bad spot with me. I just think of parasites eating my eyes out or something to that effect.
     
  14. Atomic_Joe

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    Joevahkiin

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    Oh, like the Dreaded African Eye Worm?

    [​IMG] This makes me fucking CRINGE. [​IMG]

    Loa loa filariasis (also known as loiasis, loaiasis, Calabar swellings, Fugitive swelling, Tropical swelling and African eyeworm) is a skin and eye disease caused by the Nematode worm, Loa Loa. Humans contract this disease through the bite of a deer fly or Mango fly (Chrysops spp), the vectors for Loa loa. The adult Loa loa filarial worm migrates throughout the subcutaneous tissues of humans, occasionally crossing into subconjunctival tissues where it can be easily observed. Loa loa does not normally affect one's vision but can be painful when moving about the eyeball or across the bridge of the nose.
    The disease can cause red itchy swellings below the skin called "Calabar swellings".

    Good thing that shit sticks to Africa.

    [​IMG]
     
  15. Tom

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    Thank you for contributing to my insomnia
     
  16. Grapeluv

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    Fuck. Yes. Exactly like the African Eye Worm.
    It hurts to look and yet it's too interesting not to look.
     
  17. Atomic_Joe

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    Micropenis. It's hilarious, because it happens.

    [​IMG] TURBO LOL [​IMG]

    Micropenis is an unusually small penis. A common criterion is a dorsal (measured on top) erect penile length of at least 2.5 standard deviations smaller than the mean human penis size. The condition is usually recognized shortly after birth. The term is most often used medically when the rest of the penis, scrotum, and perineum are without ambiguity, such as hypospadias.

    There. A disease that isn't gross. I hope you finger painters are happy.
     
  18. $$Trooper

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    oh oh oh Screwworm next!
     
  19. Tom

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    Do pectus excavatum and pectus carinatum next
     
  20. carcinologist

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    do more mental diseases
     
  21. Lucky

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    LOL TURBP ;P;
     
  22. $$Trooper

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    Do Screwworm you pussy.
     
  23. Atomic_Joe

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    And God leased his dread Screw Worm fly larvae on the Earth, and it was wicked cool.

    Behold!
    [​IMG]

    Now, this sexy little parasite is a species of parastic fly (read as "flying face fucker") that is popular for its larvae (maggots) eating the living tissue of warm-blooded animals. It is present in the New Worldtropics. There are five species of Cochliomyia but only one species of screw-worm fly in the genus; there is also a single Old World species in a different genus (Chrysomya bezziana). Infestation of a live vertebrate animal by a maggot is technically calledmyiasis. While the maggots of many fly species eat dead flesh, and may occasionally infest an old and putrid wound, screw-worm maggots are unusual because they attack healthy tissue. Screw-worms are a reportable species to the state veterinarian in the United States if discovered on livestock.

    They're cool, though, they like beef.[​IMG]

    Ugh, nvm.



    [​IMG]
     
  24. $$Trooper

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    hahaha you did well, don't forget about scientists trying to sterilize them out of existence (hint, only worked for a short amount of time)
     
  25. Atomic_Joe

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    Fetal Alcohol Syndrome AKA "West Virginia's Finest"

    [​IMG] GLARBLE GUUUUUUUUUUUURP [​IMG] Spot the retard!

    Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is what occurs when mommy hits the sauce during pregnancy. I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with this syndrome, amirite or amirite?
    When a pregnant woman drinks alcohol, it easily passes across the placenta to the fetus. Because of this, drinking alcohol can harm the baby's development.

    A pregnant woman who drinks any amount of alcohol is at risk, since no "safe" level of alcohol use during pregnancy has been established. However, larger amounts appear to increase the problems. Binge drinking is more harmful than drinking small amounts of alcohol.
    Timing of alcohol use during pregnancy is also important. Alcohol use appears to be the most harmful during the first 3 months of pregnancy However, drinking alcohol
    anytime during pregnancy can be harmful.

    [​IMG]



    Symptoms

    A baby with fetal alcohol syndrome may have the following symptoms:

    • Poor growth while the baby is in the womb and after birth

    • Decreased muscle tone and poor coordination

    • Delayed development and significant functional problems in three or more major areas: thinking, speech, movement, or social skills (as expected for the baby's age)

    • Heart defects such as ventricular septal defect (VSD) or atrial septal defect (ASD)

    • Structural problems with the face, including:

    • Smooth groove in upper lip


      Basically, it makes your kid fuck ugly and dumber than shit.

      [​IMG]
     
  26. $$Trooper

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    LEPROSY
     
  27. Atomic_Joe

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    Leprosy, also called Hansen's disease, Bacon-Face, and "OH GOD MY SKIN IS FALLING OFF", is an infectious disease that is characterized by disfiguring skin sores and progressive nerve damage.

    [​IMG] His name is Bubbles McBacon-Face. No, this is NOT from a movie -> [​IMG]



    Armauer Hansen discovered the disease-causing bacteria in 1873.
    There are two flavors of leprosy: tuberculoid and lepromatous. Both forms cause skin sores and peripheral nerve damage, but lepromatous is more severe. It causes large, disfiguring lumps and bumps (nodules) on the skin. Only the lepromatous form is considered contagious. Another related symptom is the fact that people with leprosy never get laid. Ever.

    [​IMG]Dat ass...dat LEPROSY ass... and dem LEPROSY heels, aw lawd... [​IMG]
     
  28. Immortal_Cake

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    Noice

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    This thread is awesome.
     
  29. $$Trooper

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    ok now do EBOLA.
     
  30. Atomic_Joe

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    No, YOU are awesome. All of you. I do this for you.