@The Member Formerly Known As Baya Rae 4900 I have watched you from afar, pining for so long. I can no longer keep this inside myself, much like you cannot keep candy bars outside yourself. When I imagine you sitting at your computer, hunched and ready for action, banging your fists on the keyboard as a gentle line of sweat beads at your puffy lips, I am overcome with love. I wish to pour pancake mix betwixt the roll of fat separating your hips and your thighs, and watch them pressure-cook. I will use the delicious sweat resulting from years of eating cake as the syrup as I eat them off of your voluptuous body. When we copulate, I will at first be gentle. Your quiet murrs of pleasure as I massage your bacon-filled back will enhance my arousal. As I run my hands down your body like a chef pulling pizza dough, my body will ache for you. You will moan like a mighty walrus heaving onto a beach. I will become frenzied, and the feelings of tenderness will leave me, with only the desire to mate remaining. Your is throbbing at this point, wiggling like a remora attached to the underside of a whale. My heart beats faster as I breath in your musk, an intoxicating blend of stale Cheetos, mothballs, and libertarian pamphlets. I will carress your cheekneck, then abruptly slap you, watching your body ripple like a lake of flesh as I cling to you like a baby on a waterbed. As I mount you, and your eyes roll into the back of your head while you chirp softly, I am overcome with joy. As I pump your wrinkled piston inside me for a few seconds, I feel a greasy release and see the look of satisfaction mingled with hunger cross your face. Through a layer of puffy skin, your beady eyes lock on mine in our delicious moment of ecstasy as I peer at you over your heaving breasts. I lift myself off of your deflated wiener, and cover you in our love juices like a glazed donut. Let's make this happen. I know our love is real.