Declaration of My Feelings

Discussion in 'Hall of AEpic' started by Sugar Bombs, May 15, 2012.

  1. Sugar Bombs

    Sugar Bombs
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    Daddy

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    [​IMG]

    @The Member Formerly Known As Baya Rae 4900
    I have watched you from afar, pining for so long. I can no longer keep this inside myself, much like you cannot keep candy bars outside yourself.

    When I imagine you sitting at your computer, hunched and ready for action, banging your fists on the keyboard as a gentle line of sweat beads at your puffy lips, I am overcome with love. I wish to pour pancake mix betwixt the roll of fat separating your hips and your thighs, and watch them pressure-cook. I will use the delicious sweat resulting from years of eating cake as the syrup as I eat them off of your voluptuous body.

    When we copulate, I will at first be gentle. Your quiet murrs of pleasure as I massage your bacon-filled back will enhance my arousal. As I run my hands down your body like a chef pulling pizza dough, my body will ache for you. You will moan like a mighty walrus heaving onto a beach. I will become frenzied, and the feelings of tenderness will leave me, with only the desire to mate remaining. Your penis is throbbing at this point, wiggling like a remora attached to the underside of a whale. My heart beats faster as I breath in your musk, an intoxicating blend of stale Cheetos, mothballs, and libertarian pamphlets.

    I will carress your cheekneck, then abruptly slap you, watching your body ripple like a lake of flesh as I cling to you like a baby on a waterbed. As I mount you, and your eyes roll into the back of your head while you chirp softly, I am overcome with joy. As I pump your wrinkled piston inside me for a few seconds, I feel a greasy release and see the look of satisfaction mingled with hunger cross your face. Through a layer of puffy skin, your beady eyes lock on mine in our delicious moment of ecstasy as I peer at you over your heaving breasts.

    I lift myself off of your deflated wiener, and cover you in our love juices like a glazed donut.

    Let's make this happen. I know our love is real.

     
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  2. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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  3. Sugar Bombs

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    Daddy

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  4. skylerconcarne

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    Not Banned

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    Too much love on EDF now.
     
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  5. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    Don't worry, I am here to balance it out with my never ending reserve of perpetual hate towards any and all things.
     
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  6. Bass

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  7. Sugar Bombs

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    Daddy

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  8. Dr. Rice

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    Girlvinyl

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    Stay away from The Member Formerly Known As Baya, she is my objectivist woman!
     
  9. Sugar Bombs

    Sugar Bombs
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    Daddy

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    Gtfo, bitch!
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Bottom Feeder

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    Girlvinyl

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    This love epidemic, it frightens me.

    Also, a The Member Formerly Known As Baya shouldn't be allowed to procreate:
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Sleep tight.

    Credits to minty and SB for the pics.
     
  11. Dr. Rice

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    Girlvinyl

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  12. Sugar Bombs

    Sugar Bombs
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    Daddy

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    How is babby formed

    [​IMG]
     
  13. scumhook

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    The one time we need @The Member Formerly Known As Baya Rae 4900 to show up and post, the bastard goes radio silent.

    Sugar, that was pure poetry. I now wish to feel the fleshy embrace of The Member Formerly Known As Baya; to feel his animal scent mingling with the various fungi growing in the folds of his body.

    However, I realise this can never be.

    The Member Formerly Known As Baya is your woman, and you are his pickle.
     
  14. Sugar Bombs

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    Daddy

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    Have I inadvertently become a lesbian?
     
  15. Solution

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    Everyone is boring

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    I have never wanted to fuck words so hard before....then there was this
    I not sure my dick will ever recover from the shock.
     
  16. Whatever

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    EDF Elite

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    To be frank, all internet romances always end in tragedy.
    ALWAYS
    By the time this abomination ends I expect several people to die by its overall terribleness.
     
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  17. scumhook

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    This is a very sexually confusing time for everyone.

    If we all stick together, and where appropriate, stick it to each other, we'll all make it through OK.
     
  18. Dr. Rice

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    Girlvinyl

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    You have, but that isn't a problem because I am a lesbian on the inside.
     
  19. Sugar Bombs

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    Daddy

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    bump
     
  20. Lord Raptor

    Lord Raptor
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    Girlvinyl

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    This thread

     
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  21. hkh

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    this is beautiful
     
  22. Akula

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    </3
     
  23. Khanzer

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    EDF official mascot

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    I support this love <3
     
  24. oddguy

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    The Prime Memeister

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    Pickles.
     
  25. Massgrav

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    I puked right after I came.. You should write porn full time, Sugar.
     
  26. Lord Raptor

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    Girlvinyl

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    You know, that's not such a bad idea.

    I never have seen vegetable porn before.
     
  27. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    @Sugar Bombs What could you possibly have to offer me, Pickle Tits?

    Also, this is the third of fourth deeply sexual fanfic somebody wrote about me on EDF alone.
     
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  28. Sugar Bombs

    Sugar Bombs
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    Daddy

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    The whole world, baby.

    Theirs were in jest.
    I am completely serious. I will have you.
    Every yard of you is mine.
     
  29. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Sure you do. As far as I can tell, you're either a spy, a trap or both.

    Post four pictures of yourself with a timestamp, all at different angles. That won't prove anything, but it might discredit the theory that you've just raided some poor girl's FaceBook account.
     
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  30. uberfukken

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    Rainmaker

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    OMG SHE'S JOSE