Dear Tissue-fags..

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by Stormtrooper, Sep 16, 2011.

  1. Stormtrooper

    Stormtrooper
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    EDF Elite

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    You are now aware that by wiping your ass with tissue, you're simply just smearing feces around your asshole? Ya niggas need to step ya game up and start wiping your ass with baby wipes:

    [​IMG]

    The benefits of this are obvious: you have a squeaky clean, fresh-smelling asshole, and all traces of fecal matter removed! You'll never have to fear the embarrassment of a dirty asshole during a surprise salad tossing EVER again!

    Tissue fags, are you even trying?
     
  2. SuperSpecialSuperStar

    SuperSpecialSuperStar
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    2011 Faggot of the Year

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    Why not blast your anus with a hose?
     
  3. Trixie

    Trixie
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    The Nicest Poster on EDF2

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    I work in a library.
    it's called a bidet....
     
  4. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    If OP wasn't such a filthy European, he'd have heard of showers and washcloths.
     
  5. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    this is one of those things that just doesn't get mentioned here at EDF.
    we are a very conservative people, like the Amish.
     
  6. Harpoons

    Harpoons
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    Fissure of Man

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    Whenever I take a shit I like to jump in the shower afterwards and sponge my arsehole with a washcloth. I get through quite a lot of cloths, but that's a small price to pay for good anal hygiene.
     
  7. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    ^This is something that my ex-flatmate would say. He was a man who showered so infrequently that when he DID shower he felt that it was necessary to tell us all about it.

    Ever heard of soap? Also, how many times a day do you shit? What, are you the real life version of Eric Cartman or something?
     
  8. ge5undhe17

    ge5undhe17
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    Girlvinyl

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    yea

    enema get
     
  9. Harpoons

    Harpoons
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    Fissure of Man

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    Since when has taking a shower with every shit not been enough? Would you like me to take a shower after every piss as well? Maybe keep a journal of how many times I've used the toilet per month, and details of every corrseponding shower. I could post the log book to you on the first of every month, that way you could file all the information however you wanted. I honestly wouldn't mind paying for the books and postage, as long as I know you're keeping track of my bowel movements I'd be able to sleep soundly at night.
     
  10. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    This man seems to be unclear on the concept of bathing regularly once per day. Would someone else care to assist me in enlightening him on the subject?

    Edit: I think that what we have here is a failure to communicate. When Harpoons quoted my original post, I assumed that he was making a sarcastic jibe and perceived a veiled insult. Upon reflection his original post might have been sincere. I fear that I might have misjudged him. Oh well.
     
  11. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    I don't use baby wipes for the same reason I don't eat baby food: I have no fucking clue why. Maybe because they're too expensive? I don't.
     
  12. scumhook

    scumhook
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    Managing account details

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    I believe you have implicitly volunteered to keep track of all our bowel movements. This may prove to be one of those life-changing "how the fuck did I get here" moments.

    It's also firmly in the "Better you than me" category.

    I will be sending you weekly video journals of bowel movements, along with the odd fap footage.

    Please collate and report on as needed. I would like to see means, averages and standard distributions across all ED users; then broken down by various demographics.
     
  13. Helix

    Helix
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    resident stoner

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    Haha, pussies. Quit using pansy-ass tissue paper and wipe with a real man's TP
    [​IMG]
     
  14. ge5undhe17

    ge5undhe17
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    Girlvinyl

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  15. oddguy

    oddguy
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    The Prime Memeister

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    i call bullshit.
    baby wipes are too soft and moist,no traction.
    no way can you clean your ass with that.

    i use sand paper.
     
  16. Trixie

    Trixie
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    The Nicest Poster on EDF2

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    holy crap!!!