Daily Bible Lessons

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by KoalaRimjob, Dec 2, 2011.

  1. KoalaRimjob

    KoalaRimjob
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    1. Its Ok To Fuck Children

    And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Avenge the children of Israel of the Midianites ... And they warred against the Midianites, as the LORD commanded Moses; and they slew all the males ... And the children of Israel took all the women of Midian captives, and their little ones ... And Moses was wroth with the officers ... And Moses said unto them, Have ye saved all the women alive? ... Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves. Numbers 31:1-18
     
  2. Seku

    Seku
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    This is nothing new.
     
  3. KoalaRimjob

    KoalaRimjob
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    2. Its Better To Kill Yourself Than Be Bet Up By A Woman

    And a certain woman cast a piece of a millstone upon Abimelech's head, and all to brake his skull. Then he called hastily unto the young man his armourbearer, and said unto him, Draw thy sword, and slay me, that men say not of me, A women slew him. And his young man thrust him through, and he died. -- Judges 9:52-53

    Also no shit, Its over 2000 years old
     
  4. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Holy shit the bible promotes assisted suicide!

    This is very lol. Please do one of these every day!
     
  5. KoalaRimjob

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    3. If You Disobey God, He Will Give You Hemorrhoids

    The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed. -- Deuteronomy 28:27
     
  6. Khanzer

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  7. h0xnbl0w

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    Send that shit to weev, I heard he needs some right-wing lulzy flames for his show.
     
  8. KoalaRimjob

    KoalaRimjob
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    4. Incest Is Blessed By God

    And Amram took him Jochebed his father's sister to wife; and she bare him Aaron and Moses: and the years of the life of Amram were an hundred and thirty and seven years. Exodus 6:20
    (Moses and Aaron were the products of incest)

    And I will bless her Sarah (Abraham's sister), and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.Genesis 20:12